Yesterday at church we had the privilege of learning from a true scholar, compassionate minister, and friend to our senior pastor, Mr. Robby Booth. In his solid message about the Setting For A Transformational Miracle, one thing in particular got me thinking…
When we run out, or better yet – when we begin to lack patience, kindness (you fill in the blank) for our spouse…where do we go for a solution? Who/What is our default?
God’s Word
Now Robby wasn’t specifically talking about marriage (although he has two Master’s degrees in Marriage and Family Counseling), but the Word of God is beautiful in that it’s alive and active (Hebrews 4:12) and if we allow, it can transform and penetrate every area of our lives, including and most especially our marriage.
Robby’s teaching came from John 2, when Jesus performed his first miracle of changing water into wine. If you haven’t read this passage before, stop and take a few minutes to read it as this post may not be as clear unless you understand the setting.
In verse 3, we find out that the wedding has run out of wine. If you were in that situation, what do you think your response would’ve been to the lack?
Would you have hopped on your donkey and kicked on towards the grocer down the road? Maybe you would’ve tried to mix other things together and create a new sort of beverage. Either way, YOU are searching and trying to be the solution.
And then comes Jesus. At the time, people didn’t know who Jesus was (vs. 4). But the one person who really knew him (Mary, his mother), went to him first.
First things first
Let me back up one step; knowing Jesus and being in an active relationship with him is foundational for your marriage. In John and Stasi Eldredge’s book Love & War, one of my favorite parts of the entire book is when they talk about how having a relationship with Christ is “one of the kindest things you can do for your spouse.”
If we don’t know Jesus, and we’re not intimate with him – how could he be our default?
First thing’s first, get to know Jesus – let him be your Savior, your best friend and your King. Build your life on who HE is.
Knowing Jesus and inviting him into our lives is the first step in permitting him to work a miracle – and I know some of us need a miracle in our marriage YESTERDAY!
Now, we are all guilty of wanting to “help” and find a solution to the lack in our marriages (lack of intimacy, lack of communication, lack of finances – you get the picture). But without really knowing who Jesus is, our efforts are worthless.
We will never say or do the exact right thing that will cause a miracle to happen. We MUST go to Jesus – know him, communicate with him. How? Glad you asked.
Step 2
PRAY.
God cares about every intricate detail or our lives and of course, our marriage.
There is nothing too small or too big for Him.
Now prayer isn’t always about going into a prayer closet for hours and hours (although, there are DEFINITELY times where this is absolutely necessary). What I’d like you to feel liberated from is the limitations: that you can’t pray unless you’re in a specific place or it’s a specific time.
Again, Jesus died on the cross so that we might be in communication with our Heavenly Father. Jesus made the way that allows us to do as Paul instructs in 1 Thessalonians 5:17; pray continually.
Meaning, talk to God, all the time throughout the day.
When do I pray? ALL the time.
When Ryan and I are duking it out, I need to be in prayer and communication with God (chances are, I haven’t been, thus the battle).
When we’re out on a date, having a great time connecting and communicating, I need to pray (and thank God for this blessed moment). When we’re at home or driving in the car – I need to be talking to God.
Sharing my fears, sharing my anxieties. Praising Him! Giving Him glory for answered prayer requests. Sometimes it’s time on my own and sometimes, it’s in the middle of a conversation with a friend who is struggling in her marriage and I muddle under my breath, “Holy Spirit, please give me your words to say. Help me go glorify you in my response.”
I think you get the picture.
Responding
Our first response, in any situation of need and lack in terms of our marriage should be one of prayer.
It probably won’t come automatically at first, so don’t get frustrated and quit prematurely. The more we intentionally go straight to the Source, and throw off our “usual” response of trying to figure out the solution on our own; the more we then allow God to come into our situation and do what ONLY He can do. A miracle.
Healing wounded hearts, restoring broken marriages, clearing up communication, and bringing healing and reconciliation between you and your spouse – these on God’s list of priorities for you.
Never forget how much He loves you and wants to work miracles in your life where there is lack.
1 Peter 5:7 reminds us to cast all our cares upon Him because He cares for us.
[Photo by Cheval Photos]
Question: Is there something you can pray about for your spouse today? Or maybe pray for/with them?
Have you heard of the The 31-Day Pursuit Challenge?
Every marriage begins with passion, purpose, and pursuit, but few stay that way. That’s why we wrote Husband in Pursuit and Wife in Pursuit Together, they make what we’re calling the 31-Day Pursuit Challenge. Couples are encouraged take the challenge together. We’re already starting to hear stories of transformed marriages! Are you up for the challenge?