Your Wife, Your Ultimate Standard of Beauty

This is an issue that will make or break your marriage. Men, we are constantly barraged with culture’s standard of womanly beauty. We’re told over and over again that a beautiful woman must be skinny, tall, wear certain clothes, act a certain way, and have a risqué appetite for sex. (The same is true for the opposite sex as well, but this post is written specifically with…

Breaking the Ice in Communication “Cold-Snaps”

In my last post, I discussed 5 habits for building rock-solid communication in your marriage. What I wrote was based on personal experience and scripture, but they’re all proactive measures for communicating more effectively. What do we do when we’re already IN a frustrating moment/season and we don’t know how to break loose? How can we break the ice and let our guard down when everything inside of…

The Amazing Joys of Marriage

A few months ago, Selena and I got to meet one of our heroes in person: Gary Thomas. We were walking into the dining room of a retreat center when we saw Gary and Lisa approaching. Before I could awkwardly introduce myself, he warmly and enthusiastically greeted me: “Hey Ryan!”, he said. I couldn’t believe it. “He knows who we are?” I thought. (In hindsight, it…

3 Reasons You [Probably] Avoid Church and Why to Go Anyway

If you’re reading this, there’s a great chance that you identify with being called a Christian. However, that’s about where the assumptions stop. You might be married, you might read your Bible, and you probably (statistically) don’t gather weekly with other believers in your area. Life is busy and church attendance tends to get placed on the chopping block. Given our culture’s adversity to ‘organized religion’ and…

No Backup Plan, No Regrets

There’s profound joy in the mutual and reckless pursuit of each other in marriage. Marriage requires a fierce tenacity that never gives up and never gives in. What does this reckless pursuit actually look like in marriage? What enables it within every complex issue and circumstance you will face? To start, look at Christ’s example. He pursues you without fail. It’s his steady pursuit that…

6 Ways to Affair-Proof Your Marriage

Affairs take two common forms: emotional and sexual. In either case, by the time an actual affair materializes, there have been latent and unaddressed problems for a long time. “Affair proofing”, if we can call it that, includes proactively building systems and rhythms into your marriage that will make it much less likely that you’ll start down the subtle path toward an affair. Today, at…

Part 2: How To Stay Connected When You Aren’t Connecting

This mini-series is about connecting at a deeper level in the midst of dry and barren times in your marriage. The primary way we are highlighting how to connect better is through scripture reading together. Reading the bible, discussing it, and of course I would include prayer in this as well. It’s important to address the deeper heart issues happening before we start prescribing tools like “how…

Why Understanding Covenant is Absolutely Foundational for Your Marriage

We are big advocates for understanding the “why” behind the “what.” This is especially true for the idea of covenant. When we can understand the deeper meaning of covenant, we are better equipped to understand its importance for every facet of modern-day marriage. There is wisdom to be mined, understanding to be gleaned, and a clearer and more joyful path for our marriage when we…

Part 1: How To Stay Connected When You Aren’t Connecting?

No matter how great your marriage is we all know and have experienced seasons in the wilderness so to speak. By “wilderness” I mean days, weeks, months, or possibly even years, where our marriage feels dry and barren. To some of us, this time feels fruitless and empty…you can’t seem to connect with each other (emotionally, let alone physically) and marriage feels more like a…

Two Ways to Grow in Trust

The one thing Ryan wants from me is my trust. It’s been something that is hard for me to give to him for many reasons, one in particular is the fact that my parents divorced when I was eight years old. God has definitely been faithful in bringing healing and redemption in my life, and he’s worked all of the brokenness for my good. However,…