• Referenced scripture:
  • John 15:12-17

• Recommended resource:
  • thenewsisgood.com

Selena: So marriage should be perfect without problems.

Ryan: Just like ours is perfect. [chuckles]

Selena: No arguing, just marital bliss, [both laughs] and many other myths that we’re going to talk to you about today. So buckle up, and we’ll see you on the other side.

[00:00:16]

Ryan: Yes, this video is for couples who are maybe headed into marriage. It’s kind of that time of year when this video is being recorded and released where there’s more nuptials happening. [Selena laughs] Couples are getting married. You may be getting engaged.

Selena: Or you might be in your first couple of months or one year of marriage, I guess. One to two years

Ryan: Yeah. So we hope to maybe dispel some of the myths and some of this unspoken pressure that you might feel as a newly married couple, as a newly married husband or as a newly married wife. You can kind of pile it on. And we’re here to say we’re going to celebrate our 19th anniversary here in a few months. Can you believe that?

Selena: It’s like, “Is it 19?” [laughs]

Ryan: Yeah, a bit too old coming up. Yeah.

Selena: I can’t believe it. It’s crazy.

Ryan: We’ve been together for four years in addition to that. So we dated for four years. You guys, we’re here to tell you marriage is awesome but there are some myths around it.

Selena: Yeah.

Ryan: So if you don’t know who we are, my name is Ryan, and my lovely wife here. This is Selena. We are the authors, voices, faces, founders of Fierce Marriage, the Fierce Family on YouTube, Fierce Parenting. We spend our days pointing couples to Christ and just enlivening your hearts hopefully, by God’s grace, to the truths of scripture and the wonderful weight it bears on our hearts and how it can transform our lives, and how marriage is oftentimes one of the main ways that God will sanctify us and see His love worked out through our lives. That’s why we’re here. Thank you for joining us.

If you haven’t yet, go ahead and subscribe to this channel. Take a second and do that. We want to make sure that we keep those lines of communication wide open. Communication is important. But that way we can continue bringing this content to you. We hope to do it as long as the good Lord allows.

Selena: Yes.

Ryan: Let’s dive right into this. Unless you have something else you wanted to add.

Selena: No. I was just gonna say, you know, I think these myths come up… they come from our own, I think expectations before we get married or as we’re married because we grow up as individuals, we have our own sort of experiences, whether they be, you know, our family of origin, or some big events or something or a couple events that form and kind of shape you into who you are today.

And so you kind of head into marriage with like this ignorance and bliss of like, “Oh, it’ll just be so great.” And it is. I’m not saying it’s not. Because it is in a way that you just can’t even imagine. But it also comes with this work part and this die-to-self part and this love and serve one another as Christ loved and served the church. But the most amazing thing is that that is the most rich and deep way to experience, I think, love within a marriage and covenant.

Ryan: And I will say this because I think most modern couples are pretty savvy to the fact that… you know, maybe they’ve had been disillusioned when it comes to marriage.

Selena: Sure.

Ryan: And so they might be thinking even the opposite. Instead of having this kind of blissful outlook on it, they might be thinking, “Yeah, you know, I don’t really have high expectations for what this could be.”

Selena: Sure.

Ryan: I guess, maybe listen with an open eyes, open ears here as we’re going through these things. And we’re here to tell you, again, 19 years into it.

Selena: Yeah, we’re here to share some fun examples. [chuckles]

Ryan: Marriage is good. God has created a good thing.

Selena: Absolutely.

Ryan: And it is worth pressing into, embracing His model for marriage, not our own. That’s why we’re having this conversation is because we can superimpose kind of human expectations-

Selena: Always. We always do that.

Ryan: …onto what marriage is. And instead, let’s look at God’s model for it. So…

Selena: All right.

Ryan: Number one.

Selena: Marriage myth number one.

Ryan: Marriage Myth number one is that marriage makes things easier. That might sound like a weird myth, especially if you’re a Christian couple. We do these videos, these podcast episodes for Christian couples. And there may be some couples who think that, “Man, if we could just get married, all of our like pre-marriage issues would go away. We could finally just deal with this elephant in the room.”

Selena: Which I will say, for the Fredericks, as virgins, it did make things a little bit easier on that end, as far as like being able to-

Ryan: What do you mean? [laughs]

Selena: …have sex

Ryan: Oh, yeah, yes. [both laughs]

Selena: Because we were waiting to have sex. And so you know, there’s little tension there.

Ryan: A little bit. [both chuckles]

Selena: So it made things a little bit more easier in the intimacy department. But it also did bring along more questions, more frustrations, more conversations of-

Ryan: People ask, they say, “Why did you guys get married?” We got married when we were 20 basically. And I told them, I was like, “I was reading that passage where Paul wrote and he’s like, ‘It’s better to get married than to burn with passion.’” [both laughs] I remember I was on a dock on a lake in Wapato Park, I was there and I was like, [00:05:00] “That’s it. I’m gonna marry this girl. That’s it. I’m just gonna do it. So I sold my car.”

Selena: Soon. Soon. [both laughs]

Ryan: I was just… Man, I was a young man.

Selena: I love that though, when a guy’s just like, “I’m gonna marry her.” It’s like, Oh, yes.

Ryan: Okay. Go ahead. That wasn’t the opposite.

Selena: No, it was a real swing. Real swing.

Ryan: And I was just like, “Yeah, I don’t want to fight this fight. I’d rather fight whatever fight we can fight together. But I don’t want to have to be battling this kind of desire of the flesh, of wanting to be with this woman that I love.” And so yeah, sold my car, bought a wedding ring. I had a fancy engagement.

Selena: Yes. So this myth that marriage makes things easier is not just about sex and intimacy. But it can also be applied to finances, priorities. I mean, how you spend your time, money and energy, I mean, those are some of the biggest areas of conflict that we see in marriage because we all have our ideals of how we think we should be spending this.

And it can be really complicated, I think, especially in your first years of marriage, again, trying to break down your own personal expectations and trying to live as one and be unified in your desires. And so, you know, I would just say those first few years of marriage like be gracious to one another, love one another, bear with one another, right, in love, forgive one another as Christ has forgiven you.

Ryan: Love it.

Selena: Marriage is not… Okay.

Ryan: And that’s the upside, because it may not make things easier for you individually. But if as soon as you embrace this one flesh mentality, then you can begin to tackle life together in unity. And man that does… I will say that does make life… I won’t say easier, but it changes the dynamic, and that gives you an advantage.

Selena: And I liked that you said you didn’t say easier because one more point on this is that marriage doesn’t fix you or your spouse because I think sometimes we conflate better with easier, right? This is not the case with marriage. Like getting married, you’re going to endure some sanctification, you’re going to endure conflict, and you’re going to endure face-to-face with your own selfishness and-

Ryan: Anything that’ll amplify those areas of your life that are dysfunctional.

Selena: Well, and shout that you need a Savior. Right?

Ryan: Amen. Amen. It points us to Christ. Again, that’s a picture of the gospel in marriage is that when we are together in marriage, when we’re made one flesh, and specifically in the act of sex, which I think we’ll talk about that one next-

Selena: No.

Ryan: Well, we will. I’m gonna jump. ahead. [Selena laughs] …You are naked and unashamed and you’re completely exposed to one another. Your heart, soul, and body completely exposed to them. And yes, you’re with this person who has said to you “I do. I will love you till death do us part.”

If you are living out your covenant, living out that love, you can see a glimpse of what it means to be loved, fully known, and fully loved by God in Christ. So it’s an opportunity to live out the Gospel in a much more tangible way.

Okay, let’s skip ahead. I want to go to myth… It’ll be Myth number two for today, but it’s ahead in our list. And it’s this: that sex will get boring.

Selena: I think the secular message is out there just sex is purely pleasurable, carnal, should be fun, it’s gonna get bored with the same person. But as we know as Christians, like sex is so much more than just pleasure and enjoyment and excitement, right? There’s other purposes behind it.

Ryan: Yes. But I would say that the pleasure just gets more intense in ways that aren’t purely physical.

Selena: Sure. Right.

Ryan: And don’t get me wrong-

Selena: It’s like fine wine.

Ryan: I’m just gonna be completely honest. Okay, going on 18 years, our sex nowadays is far better than the first year of our marriage. It’s far better.

Selena: Fine wine.

Ryan: Now, granted, it’s not new because you’re my same wife.

Selena: “You’re my same wife.”

Ryan: You’re the only one I’ve ever been with. So no, it’s not new. So it’s not like the beginning of our marriages where it was new, but it’s far better.

Selena: Right.

Ryan: We have-

Selena: Well, you discover, I think, some of the new purposes and aspects of sex. Like for us, we learned that sex can be very comforting to one another, right?

Ryan: Mm-hmm.

Selena: It can be a place of comfort, it can be a place of just feeling close to one another. It’s not just a physical carnal thing that I think where this myth of “it’ll get boring” kind of is rooted or birth.

Ryan: Think about that premise, that very thought that sex can get boring, and how utterly selfish that that idea is. That if you bore me, you no longer satisfy me. To think that is to say to you, I’ve discovered it all there is to know about you, I have experienced all there is to experience with you, and I’m ready just for a different thing. Right?

Selena: Mm.

Ryan: That is an ally from the enemy, friends in that you can spend your life exploring this person that is your spouse. Yes, physically exploring them; yes, emotionally exploring who they are and how God made them-

Selena: And spiritually.

Ryan: …and spiritually-

Selena: And that’s all points into it.

Ryan: …and you will never see it all. You’ll never experience all that your spouse is. That’s the wonder [00:10:00] of a monogamous marriage is that you have your lives to get to know one another. And so also 19 years into this, that sex has gotten much more intense in a good way, much more fun, much more, like you said, comforting, much more familiar. And that’s not in a boring way but in a-

Selena: Safe way.

Ryan: I just want to be with you, my wife-

Selena: In a safe way.

Ryan: In a safe way, yeah. So don’t believe the myth.

Selena: I would say one way to combat if you are feeling like sex is boring in your marriage is to set aside some time to have an honest conversation with your spouse. We have books, we have podcast episodes, we have so many resources-

Ryan: We have a course for you.

Selena: Yeah.

Ryan: It’s actually one of our free courses. If you go to gospelcenteredmarriage.com, check it out. There’s five – what is it? It’s something that has five aspects of a healthy sex life, we’ll say. Anyway, we have some resources for you.

Selena: So don’t just sit in that “it’s boring, I don’t know what to do.” Take some responsibility. Take some charge. This is your marriage that God has given you, steward it well and be active in it. So that is number two: sex will get boring. Number three.

Ryan: Myth number three. Love can be lost. This isn’t a myth that-

Selena: I can fall out of love with you.

Ryan: I fell in love with you and I can fall out of love with you That if somehow our feelings of affection wane, or they’re not as dynamic as they once were, we start to doubt that “Actually, was I supposed to marry this person?”

Selena: Well, it’s a very fear-based statement. And we were trying to talk about examples from our own marriage for each of these myths. And I don’t know that I ever like subscribe to this. I’d never been scared that I would like fall out of love with you. Love was just never defined to us in that way.

But I know that I had moments of feeling insecure when we’re around other women if you and I were not… if we were fighting or there’s some tension. Early on I would just feel insecure like, “Oh, he’s having a good time with her. He must like her now.” [laughs]

Ryan: When did I ever had a good time with [inaudible].

Selena: I mean, like having a good conversation, I guess, with someone and I’m right there. [Ryan laughs] Well, I’m trying to be honest here that early on in our marriage those were feelings that I had to fight. And not that I didn’t trust him, it’s just I didn’t like what was happening and I felt insecure when nothing was actually happening. It was just my insecurities kind of putting [chuckles] a tint on what was actually happening.

As we’ve aged and matured in our marriage, we can be in a fight and I can be totally secure with whoever he’s interacting with on a very like, you know, pure and adult, normal, unquestionable level. But I think I’ve had to grow in terms of when there’s conflict, dealing with some of the fears or insecurities that come along with that for me. Just knowing that I can’t lose him. Like I’m not going to lose him, his love for me.

Ryan: And we may have an advantage in that sense. And this is where we would encourage you young couple to quickly lay this this foundational baseline in terms of what love is. We had agreed too explicitly like this is what love is. Love is not my affections. Affections are an unnatural outworking of love, which is a choice that I’ve made. And when I asked you to marry me, and you said yes, we chose to love each other. I chose to-

Selena: Yes. In an exclusive way.

Ryan: I chose to give you my exclusive love and to always give it to you. Not just give it to you when you’ve reciprocated.

Selena: Or earned it.

Ryan: Or earned it or I feel like giving it to you. So we made a commitment to one another early on. And young couple, make this commitment, make this very clear in your marriage: that love is something that God has made and it is not something that is dependent on your circumstance or your emotion. It is dependent on your choice. It is fixed. That love is a verb more than it is a noun.

Selena: Love is a way. 1 Corinthians 13 talks about the way of love, right?

Ryan: Yeah.

Selena: It’s a verb. It’s an action. You can choose to love. And if that choice feels really hard right now or you’re kind of questioning that choice, [chuckles] I would say, ask the Lord to help you and enable you to love your spouse and to honor your marriage covenant that you made before Him and others.

You know, like everything, you have two choices. You can choose to love or you can choose to not love. I mean, Christ loved us while we were still sinners. So if we have His standard and model of love, how then should we be modeling and acting out that love as well?

Ryan: Do you remember the first time you said you loved me?

Selena: I said it first probably. [Ryan laughs]

Ryan: She did.

Selena: That’s us guys. [laughs]

Ryan: I was very shocked.

Selena: And you were just like, “Okay.” [laughs]

Ryan: We’ve been dating for three months. It was early. It was early on in our relationship. I think we had not even kissed yet.

Selena: Okay, mister, I can only date someone that I could think [00:15:00] I couldn’t marry. Like that was our conversation.

Ryan: Listen, I’m a man and I know a good thing when I see it. [both laughs]

Selena: Okay then I’m [inaudible] that’s saying I love you because that’s the truth.

Ryan: It caught me off guard, however.

Selena: You know what?

Ryan: I’ve probably said it more than you said it since then. [both laughs]

Selena: Probably. Probably. You did say “feelings of love” because I feel like feelings have been elevated past where they should be-

Ryan: Absolutely.

Selena: …sometimes in terms of what it means to love one another. Love-

Ryan: Everything is subjective in it.

Selena: Yes, based on your feelings. But the Bible doesn’t say that love is a way. And when you do that way, there will be these feelings of love. But that is not the objective. The objective is to love as Christ loves. So moving on.

Ryan: Yeah. We should do a whole one on love again. We actually did an episode, but one of the very first videos recorded on YouTube it would have been… Yeah, it was what is love. So check that out because we will walk through that in greater detail.

All right, this is the fourth myth. Healthy couples never argue or never fight.

Selena: That should be a red flag. [both laughs] If you’re not arguing, there’s something wrong. Just living with another human being it means you should have fights, disagreements, frustrations, tension points that you will have to argue about or work through. However, arguing should not be your primary way of communication. If it’s the only way you’ve been communicating, that is also a red flag. [chuckles]

Ryan: And there are modes of argumentation that are healthy and there are modes of argumentation that are very unhealthy.

Selena: Way to deal with conflict.

Ryan: But the issue is not the argument. The issue is the mode of the argument. Like that’s how we are sharpening one another. Now, I sometimes wonder if this is just our MO. Because listen, we say fight, we don’t have like fights. Because in some of our small group settings, I would go to the guys and be like, “Yeah, Selena and I had a fight,” and they’re picturing like this-

Selena: Knockdown blowout, not talk to each other for weeks.

Ryan: Not physical altercation but we are at each other. And I’m just saying like, “No, we just had an argument, basically.” But I’ve heard stories of older couples that are like, “We’ve never raised our voice once in our 75 years of marriage.”

Selena: Yeah. But then how long did they have the cold shoulder with each other? [laughs] That’s what I want to know. [Ryan laughs] You may not raise your voice, but you may not speak at all.

Ryan: Yes, exactly. Exactly. Because you don’t have to raise your voice to have an argument, to be in a fight.

Selena: Right.

Ryan: So it just means that you’re human and it means that you’re processing through things.

Selena: Yeah. And I said don’t be afraid of the arguments or the conflict. God hasn’t given us a spirit of fear. It doesn’t mean you need to just, you know, flare up at whatever ruffles your feathers. But go to God. He’s given us the Holy Spirit as our counselor to guide us, to lead us, to help us navigate.

We have lots of podcast episodes, lots of resources that can help you deal with conflict and arguing and how to overcome it in a healthy way and to grow in this area. But if you are not arguing, then there’s something wrong. [chuckles]

Ryan: Yeah. I’ll say this. I may not agree with that statement. But I would say if you’re not communicating into the heart issues of life. And sometimes that means that you’re having an argument along the way. The key is that you’re communicating through it. You’re not going around the problem, you’re not avoiding the problem, you’re not in any way watering down or sweeping it under a rug-

Selena: Or trying to front like you’re… to show that you’re a problem-free in marriage even too.

Ryan: Right. But instead of trying to avoid all that, as a couple you’re saying, “We’re going to work through this storm. We’re not going to sail around it, we’re gonna go through it.” And that sometimes looks like having a hard conversation. That sometimes looks like raising your voices.

Now, James does tell us “in your anger, do not sin.” We do have episodes on fighting naked, if that piques your interest. I’ll just leave it at that. Look that up on YouTube or go to our website and just type in “fight naked”.

There’s a whole strategy around disagreeing in a way that is vulnerable and in a way that is open to correction and also allows… is disciplined enough to communicate really what’s going on in your heart and in your head so that your spouse can actually get out your heart and help you with whatever’s in your mind.

Selena: So just to note, you wrote that one, I didn’t. But have more money… [chuckles] You said that you should never argue. And now you’re like, “I would agree with that.”

Ryan: It’s a myth. It’s a myth.

Selena: It’s true. All right, number four, and then we got one more after this. More money will solve tension.

Ryan: Okay.

Selena: I won’t say it because you… I just wrote it there.

Ryan: Are you sure? This is actually number five, isn’t it?

Selena: No, because number five talks about personal problems disappearing.

Ryan: Okay.

Selena: Now we just gave it away. Now they’re not going to watch the video.

Ryan: It’s gonna be a good one.

Selena: It’s gonna be a good one.

Ryan: We sometimes think that all of our problems would be fixed if we had more money.

Selena: “If I just got that promotion. If I just got this. If I just got that. If we just got a car. If we just got whatever.” We will tell you, friends, I think the time in our lives when we made the most money was the time in our lives where we had the most debt. Remember? The first couple years?

Ryan: We were also probably the stupidest we ever were. [both laughs] [00:20:00]

Selena: That’s true too. But I’m just saying like more money does not equal less tension. [laughs]

Ryan: No. We were spread way too thin financially, with our time we were spread way too thin, with our commitments we were spread way too thin. The issue was not the money.

Selena: It was our perspective of it

Ryan: The issue was our hearts. The issue was our inability to steward it responsibly.

Selena: It was probably-

Ryan: Thanks God that He has… Sorry, I jumped in. Thank God that he’s worked on our hearts and He’s helped us with that. We are now—and I’m not saying that we have this completely dialed—but I think we’re fairly open-handed with the resources God has placed in our hands to the point where we just moved about a year and a half ago. And it was this place that we’re in now. It’s a mini farm. It’s a dream. We never would have dreamed of having a mini farm in what God has given us. It was well beyond what we thought we could… It wasn’t outside of our abilities.

Selena: Means, yeah.

Ryan: Our means. But the way market was, the way housing things were going, we just said, “God, this would be awesome. We’re going to do our best to wisely pursue this. But at the end of the day, Lord, we’re going to love you and we’re content where you’ve placed us. And if you say no, we’re fine with that, because we know you love us. We know that you’re looking out for us.” And God was gracious and gave us a yes on this one. He has not always done that.

Selena: Yeah. And we trust Him even in those, yeah.

Ryan: And so I think the attitude toward because many times why couples get overextended is because the attitude toward the material things that they think they need and want is not one of “I could take it or leave it and still be content.” Instead, it’s one of those, “If I can just get whatever that is, the vehicle, the situation-

Selena: And that’s always the tension that we’re fighting is the flesh right, against waging war, against our spirit. “If we just had this it would be easier.” And it might be easier for a season, but then you’re just gonna go back to the same, you know, trough of tensions, basically, and try to find your way out of that when God has said, “I am good. I’m sufficient. I’m the living water. Come to me.”

So again, it’s just a perspective. It’s idolatry, you know, in our heart and dealing with that, and bringing it to the Lord and having the right perspective on money.

Ryan: And I want to speak to the couple who is maybe in a very kind of dire financial circumstance. Now, we’re sitting here, and again, I mentioned this place being a blessing to us, we still live very lean lives I would say. And that’s not to say that we have like this perspective from where we are, and we’re just kind of looking…

We’ve run the whole gamut. We’ve had months where we’ve had less than $100 in our bank account, and rent’s due, car payment, and debt, and no real prospects, no real hope, and wondering where that’s going to come from. And I will tell you, friends, that that season in our lives… You’re looking at us on the other side of that season. So having seen God provide in those dire situations of lack has caused us to learn to actually trust our Father for what He says.

So if you’re going through a hard season, our encouragement for you is this: find where God is asking you to trust Him in that season. Instead of fighting against one another, and blaming and saying, “If you just made more money,” or “if you just didn’t spend this or that,” say, “How can we work through this together? How is God using this to sharpen us and bring us closer to Him, closer to one another?”

Selena: We also had a season of paying that debt off. We also had a season of living very, very lean, having one car, having a moving truck that we lived with because it just stored our stuff for a year to living in a one-bedroom apartment with a baby.

You know, there’s all of these things that you can do for a season. And I think the willingness just needs to be there. And to remember it’s an adventure for you and your spouse. And so to just have that gracious heart if those seasons are coming or you’re in that, and to trust the Lord in that because He is good.

And there’s lessons to be learned. Like we’d have taken those lessons and they are forever in our hearts. And we carry them forward into our day-to-day.

Ryan: And we’re just coming out of… Sorry, this is a topic that we just did an episode on two weeks ago. So go back and check that out. They’re tangible ways to work through financial hardship. Those ups and downs are still here, too. It’s not like it’s smooth sailing. It’s continually the Lord bring us back to Him. And I’m thankful for that. And I pray for that. In the struggles, it’s not always easy to acknowledge it but that’s why you have your spouse there to help you.

Selena: So this last one will end up with a verse and some encouragement. But your personal problems will disappear if you get married. [Ryan chuckles] There’s the age-old saying, right? Wherever you go, there you are. Same is for marriage. [chuckles]

Things may be wonderful and blissful for a short amount of time. But hate to burst your bubble there is a reality called life that we learn to operate and love each other in in our marriage covenant. Your spouse is a gift. They’re your helpmate. They’re there to help with your problems, to help you see a different side, to cheer you on in some of the battles that maybe only they know about that you deal with. And that’s a special and beautiful thing.

God has given us each other. He’s giving you that spouse for a purpose. Again, not for a problem-free, argue-free, [00:25:00] just feel-good friendship relationship. Although there are moments and seasons and wonderful experiences of that in marriage and plenty to go around. But ultimately, we are given a spouse to be sanctified, to learn to love as Christ has loved, and to experience that same love.

John 15 starting verse 12. Do want to read that? I think that’s one of the-

Ryan: Yeah. “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you. No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you. You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name, he may give it to you. These things I command you, so that you will love one another.”

Marriage is meant to image the love of God and to image the love of Christ in a very, very tangible way in your spouse’s life, in your children’s lives, in the lives of your community. And it takes this gritty love and knowing that marriage is not all these myths that we’ve talked about today. Some of them are silly, some of them… you might be still wrestling through some of them.

But marriage is not just about our happiness here now. Marriage is all about the glory of God. And as a result, because God is good, we also get to experience the goodness of marriage, we get to experience the goodness of unity with another human being—the person that he’s given to you.

And when we embrace that, that the reason for our marriage is to glorify God, then, friends, then we get to begin start working toward the truest kind of form of loving one another, toward, I think, the fullest version of the joy that can be experienced. But it takes that acknowledging that it’s not about me or even about you. Sorry, Sel. It’s about Jesus. It’s about God.

So if you’re watching this and you’ve heard us talking, and you’re wondering, “Yeah, this love seems different,” Yeah, it is. It’s very different because our God is unlike any other God. He is the Living God. And He has not just stayed far away. He has dwelt in and among His own people.

He has come and lived a perfect life, died the death that we should have died, was risen again. Death did not defeat Him. He rose again and He ascended into heaven. He reigns at the right hand of the Father and He has given you… If you place your trust in Him and you place your trust in Christ, He has given you access into God’s goodness, into the throne room of grace. We’re here to invite you into that.

If you want to know what it means to become a Christian, we have a website for you. It’s thenewsisgood.com. Go there, check it out. It just outlines very briefly what it means to follow Jesus. And we pray that you would take those steps down that path. Find a good church, find somebody you can grow with. And we pray that you flourish as an individual, that your marriage flourishes as a result. It’s all about Jesus.

Selena: Amen.

Ryan: It always has been, it always will be. Let’s pray. Jesus, we thank you for this gift of marriage that, as tough as it is at times, Lord, you have created a beautiful thing. You’ve given us the ability to know one another this intimate way, to grow and to flourish, to build a life together.

I pray for the couples watching this. That you would bolster their marriage, strengthen their marriage, fill their marriage with purpose, instill in them an urgency to live out the Gospel as they love their spouse, for their good, for your glory in obedience to you.

Lord, I pray that you would bring them…. the estranged spouses, that you’d bring them closer together. That they would see your face and they would want to honor you and they would have soft hearts toward you, soft hearts toward one another, and they would run to you, run to one another and that they might be strengthened in their unity that they might glorify you again. All these things in your precious name, Jesus, amen.

Selena: Amen.

Ryan: Okay, if you’re still watching this and you haven’t subscribed, go ahead and hit that subscribe button. If you’re still listening to this and you haven’t subscribed to The Fierce Marriage Podcast, make sure you subscribe in whatever podcasting app you use.

This podcast is possible because of our supporters. So if you feel the Lord leading you to partner with us, we’d be honored to partner with you. The way you do that is you go to fiercemarriage.com/partner. There’s some tiers. It’s a monthly thing. Anything Goes $2 on up. We would love to have you in that community. The Lord is good and He is using you, our listeners, our viewers to support this. So thank you. Thank you if that’s you.

All right. That’s it for this episode. Anything else you wanna say?

Selena: Mm-mm.

Ryan: All right, this episode of Fierce Marriage is—

Selena: In the can.

Ryan: We’ll see you again in about seven days. So until next time—

Selena: Stay fierce.