September 19, 2023

Perseverance ≠ Perfection, Seeking Unity in Trial, and Gary Thomas

ONE Thought (from us)

Remember your vows? They probably included something like “to have and to hold, for richer and for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.” These are promises to endure the good times along with the bad. It’s also important to remember what they’re not: vows to be perfect. It’s neither helpful nor biblical to hold yourself or your spouse to a standard of perfection. There’s only one person in the history of mankind who was perfect: Jesus.

Your vows are promises to serve each other and seek the good of each other before your own. They’re not promises of perfection! Christ’s was the only promise of perfection and only he could fulfill it. When we understand that Christ’s perfection is a gift, we’re filled with gratitude and emptied of self-righteousness.

This levels the playing field in a marriage between two incredibly imperfect people. Flood your marriage with patience and forgiveness. Handle imperfections with grace, and always remember the bottom line: your perfection is a free gift, one far too expensive to purchase yourself.

“For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God. Working together with him, then, we appeal to you not to receive the grace of God in vain.”
(2 Corinthians 5:21–6:1)


ONE Quote (from another)

“A good marriage isn’t something you find; it’s something you make…and you have to keep on making it.”

– Gary Thomas


ONE Question (for you)

How might God be calling you to persevere in your marriage? Talk to your spouse about it, pray, and seek unity in your perseverance.


Note: We talked about this topic in this week’s podcast episode. Be sure to watch or listen to get the full discussion!

Much love and stay fierce!

Ryan & Selena Frederick
Founders of Fierce Marriage