How to Speak Your Spouse’s Love Language (and What to Avoid)

Love… It’s a word everyone uses and a concept sought by all. In marriage we make a covenant commitment to love each other whole-heartedly through our actions. We profess it, we show it, we receive it, and we feel it – at least that’s the hope. Love is not something you can check off a list, it’s a way of living, thinking, and doing. Love is a particularly tricky…

Out in the Cold: Why Your Marriage is Worth Fighting For

What if we always did exactly what we wanted? God wants us to be happy right, so why not do what brings us happiness? You’re probably already objecting. Anyone over the age of 6 knows you can’t have everything you want whenever it’s available to you. If you’ve ever vomited from an Otter Pop overdose (not that I’ve ever done that…) you’ll understand. Humans have a strange…

5 Phrases Every Wife Needs to Hear Daily

I heard a story of a man and his wife who were having difficulty communicating. She felt undervalued and he felt nagged. She felt that his love for her was fading, and he felt like she was getting overly needy. Flustered, she explained, “I’m not sure you even love me any more!”. In response he quipped, “Honey I said I loved you the day I…

6 Reasons Men Should Watch Where They Look

Men like to look at pretty ladies. Groundbreaking discovery, I know… For a Christian guy – i.e., a man who follows Christ wholeheartedly and seeks to live with integrity as a result – this desire presents problems. When a pretty lady passes us on the sidewalk, something inside drives us to look – once, twice, even thrice, or more. This looking “twice, thrice, or more” is cause for concern. It seems harmless (you’re…

The “15 Second Kiss” Experiment

A few weeks back, I met a gentleman at church named Tim. Tim and his wife had been married many years (I can’t remember exactly, but it was at least 30) and weathered many trials through their marriage (cancer included). Naturally I asked him what the secret was – as I usually do when I meet someone with an epic marriage. “How have they stuck…

4 Things to Consider the Next Time You Feel Misunderstood

A few weeks back, Selena and I had a new style of argument. I guess I’ll call it “repressed yelling” (with an infant at home, volume is now a luxury we can’t afford). Funny thing though, as I write this I don’t even remember what we were arguing about – it must have been something trivial. I only truly recall something about feeling misunderstood. I…

Gritty Love: Why Sex on the Beach is Pure Fiction

Love is many things, but easy isn’t one of them. But that’s how pop-culture models love, isn’t it? Whether it’s obvious or subtle, we’re shown how love should be easy: love is a feeling you follow and when the feeling stops, or in other words it stops being easy, it’s time to move on. It’s not that people on TV or characters in movies are…

3 Things I’ve Learned from Unanswered Prayer

Have you ever felt like you were asking God all the “right” questions and getting only silence in return? We’ve been seeking God on a few things and have yet to hear His response. It’s causing us both spiritual heartburn. Now, on top of the questions we’ve been already asking God (some for years), we’re asking MORE questions like “Why is God being so quiet?”…

10 Horrible Tips for Marital Arguments

There are thousands of posts online about “how to communicate” in marriage and how to argue in a healthy way. But what if you want to be truly terrible at it? Where do you turn for advice? Well, friends, you’ve come to the right place! Here are 10 horrible tips for marital communication. No matter the topic of your disagreement, if you follow these horrible…

3 Myths About Quality Time in Marriage

Nothing replaces quality, focused time with your spouse. There are no substitutes and no shortcuts. We’re learning and relearning this concept in our marriage. Whenever Selena and I allow our time together to be eroded by life’s chaos and busyness, our marriage suffers. How? We’re impatient with each other Sex is infrequent and/or insincere Frustrations mount as grace runs dry We’re increasingly inconsiderate of one…