July 17, 2023

Why Speaking *Sensually* is Good For You, Lust vs. Love, and Solomon’s Song

ONE Thought (from us)

Is it right, good, and holy for couples to speak to each other in sensual ways? The short answer is yes, it is! How do we know? There’s a whole book of the Bible that puts sensual speech on display! In an effort to speak biblically to this question in our recent books, we did a study on the Song of Solomon, and here are four key themes we found regarding sensual speech between spouses:

In SoS, the lover and her beloved spoke to each other with:

  1. Erotic physical admiration – admiring one another’s physical traits as a pathway toward arousal
  2. Erotic anticipation – they spoke in a way that anticipated the “end game”
  3. Mutual conversation – both parties participate, and gladly!
  4. Edifying speech – what is said need not be lewd to have the desired effect…

Could it be that your intimate life with your spouse will benefit from embracing the model for sensual communication presented in Song of Solomon? We think so, so why not give it a shot? (If you’re not sure where to start, listen to this week’s podcast episode!)

“Behold, you are beautiful, my love;
behold, you are beautiful;
your eyes are doves.”

(Song of Solomon 1:15)

ONE Quote (from another)

“Lust would take the body and discard the soul. Love deeply desires the soul, and gladly receives whatever body accompanies it.”
– Ryan Frederick

ONE Question (for you)

What is one action step you can take to explore sensual speech in your marriage? (Think: have a conversation about it, read Song of Solomon, listen to this episode together… etc)

Note: We covered this topic in this week’s podcast episode. Be sure to watch or listen to get the full discussion!

Until next week, stay fierce!

Ryan & Selena Frederick
Founders of Fierce Marriage