For Women, Podcast

Let’s Talk About Modesty

woman standing on green grass field during daytime

Much can be said about modesty, but it’s taboo to do so in our modern era. Still, what does the Bible say about modesty for women? And before you comment, don’t worry: we’ll talk about the men next week.

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Scripture, Show Notes, and Resources Mentioned

  • Referenced scripture:
    • Romans 12:1-2
    • 1 John 2:15-17
    • 1 Peter 3:3-5
    • 1 Timothy 2:8-10
    • John 6:27
    • 1 Corinthians 10:24
    • 1 Corinthians 10:23

Full Episode Transcript

Selena: All right, I got a quote for you today. “Women are attractive to men, and different things that women do are attractive to different kinds of men. If you dress like a tramp or if you lean just a little bit trampy, you will in fact get male attention. Unfortunately… you are attracting the kind of man you should not want to attract. A woman should want to be attractive without attracting.

An attractive woman is a lady, and a lady is a woman who comports herself with self-respect. You should want “she is certainly attractive.” You should not want “she is certainly an attraction.”

Ryan: Oh, man, speaking some truth here. And we fully recognize that that might ruffle your feathers. But that’s why we’re gonna talk about it. That quote is by Doug Wilson, and he has a whole blog post on this. We thought that was timely just to process through. We never talked about modesty before.

Selena: Right.

Ryan: And so it’s a very good topic. It’s come up in-

Selena: And modesty in marriage. Like what do you mean modesty? You know, it’s like, well, we’ve obviously seen each other naked. So how modest should-

Ryan: More than once.

Selena: Yeah. What kind of modesty? What are we talking about? Hopefully we’ll unpack that conversation for you today, and we will sweat. [Ryan laughs]

Ryan: That’s good. We’ll see you on the other side. [laughs]


Ryan: I’m only laughing because I just didn’t expect you to say we’ve seen each other naked. That was not something I was…

Selena: Well, because when you think modesty, at least when I think modesty, it’s like you want to cover yourself up, you don’t want to be, you know, showing off your goods, those kinds of things. But it’s like, okay, modesty and marriage, what does that mean?

Ryan: We’re clearly not talking about modesty in terms of how you present yourself to one another. I think there’s decorum in how I carry myself in front of you because I want to honor you in many ways. I’m not going to be a huge slob right around you. It’s not courteous of me. [both chuckles]

Selena: I’m kidding. I am kidding. No. Same.

Ryan: Fact check: true. [both laughs]

Selena: Same. This week we’re going to talk about modesty in marriage with wives and then next week, the conversation is going to be about modesty with men.

Ryan: Masculine modesty.

Selena: Masculine modesty.

Ryan: So if you’re wondering what that might mean, I discovered that this week. So let’s dive into this. If you’re not aware of who we are, my name is Ryan. This is my lovely wife Selena. My lovely, modest wife Selena. [laughs]

We’re the voices behind Fierce Marriage, the podcast, if you’re listening to this. We also have a YouTube channel. Definitely check it out. We do all of our marriage and parenting stuff all in one place. If you’re already watching it, thank you. Go and hit that subscribe button. We’d be honored to have you there. And check out some of the parenting stuff. I love doing the parenting video. So anyway.

But this is Fierce Marriage. Today we are talking about feminine modesty. So this is one of those topics that… You might get into it but it’s highly sensitive because it’s very subjective.

Selena: Well, yeah. There’s kind of this notion going around that if you say anything about… anything with anyone, like you’re automatically an enemy or you’re objectifying somebody.

Ryan: In terms of dress code.

Selena: I mean, in anything, really. You could take that for any subject I feel like nowadays. If you are opposed to-

Ryan: If you disapprove.

Selena: …any view or disapprove or disagree with, then you’re automatically labeled instead of being able to have conversations about things.

Ryan: Here’s a perfect example of that. Someone accused me of, quote, “Literal violence” because I said I would like to share the gospel with people. I’m not kidding. They said, “You can’t share the gospel.” I said, “Jesus commanded us to share the gospel.” She said, “No, He didn’t.” I showed her the verse. She said, “Well, it’s literal violence to basically share the gospel with somebody.”

Their reasoning was that… Anyway, we’re getting on a tangent. But they said, if you are under the threat of hell, you’re saying “believe in Jesus” under the threat of hell, which is not my words. Those are Christ’s words. Those are God’s words. And I wouldn’t necessarily share the gospel in that way. But that was literal violence apparently. Either that person needs to learn the definition of “literal” or the definition of “violence” because she’s using them wrong.

The point is you can’t bring up anything. You can even say, “This is the best news I could possibly share with you” without them being like, “You’re a bigot.”

Selena: Yes! I mean, you know, another example that we’ve seen kind of with our coop is that, you know, some of the older grades are enforcing a bit of a dress code and parents sign on to this. But there’s been some ruffled feathers about “Why should we have a dress code? That feels like-

Ryan: Legalistic or prudish.

Selena: …legalistic, yes, or prudish when we are really just trying to help young people stay pure, stay on the right path. What kind of attention is it actually attracting and should that be the type of attention that we should be training in young women and young men?

Ryan: We are talking about [00:05:00] married wives in this case. We’re gonna talk about husbands next week. Another clear example is I used to lead worship on stage a lot. And we had choir and we had different singers and musicians and things. And it was the hardest conversation I had both in the adult side and also in the college-age and or youth group side, as the worship leader is I would have to have can’t pull them aside and say, “You can’t be on stage with that. That is immodest of you.”

And that would almost be always received with hurt feelings at a minimum or anger. So it’s a touchy topic, but here we are touching it. [chuckles]

Selena: And I think our hope, again, today is to shed some light on how we can better live out the Gospel in this area and how we can honor the Lord with how we dress, with how we act towards one another, with the type of attention that we want to attract. I mean, motive matters. You hear that saying more and more.

But motivation matters with everything. So if I’m choosing a piece of clothing, why am I choosing that piece of clothing? And what type of attention am I trying to get? And why?

So we’re gonna dive into a few verses. We’ve got a few quotes here that we want to talk about. And then there’s the two passages that are kind of the modesty and humility, the hair braiding passages, right? 1 Peter 3 and 1 Timothy 2. So we’ll get to those in just a minute. But I’m gonna start with Romans 12.

And we’re gonna talk about a few of these key points and key words here about how we can honor the Lord and be living sacrifices for Him. So Romans 12, we will start with 1. “I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.”

Ryan: There’s something happening in this passage that we can easily gloss over. He’s talking about their bodies as individuals, as living sacrifices. There’s so much depth to be had here and we can’t get into all of it. We haven’t really studied the full depth of it. I just know it’s there. But in terms of what living sacrifices are, but this plural “bodies”… Because in the next part of this passage, he’s talking about the unity of the singular body that is the church.

So there is a presenting of our bodies as individuals. Do we read that as literal bodies? Do we read that as some sort of metaphorical body that present your life as a living sacrifice? Because clearly we’re not on an altar. You can’t really be a literal living sacrifice. It’s an oxymoron, which is some of what Paul’s doing.

The point is, is it’s saying that your individuality is to be kind of on the altar of God’s glory. And that doesn’t erase our individuality. It doesn’t do any of that. But it does say, “This needs to serve to the glory of God.” And as Paul goes on to say, is it then will serve the good of the church—the singular body of God’s bride, the Church?

Selena: Yep. And we will always be under the submission authority of Christ and God. So by living sacrifices, it’s like we’re living not according to the world standards. Even though when our flesh may want to, we’re sacrificing that part of our flesh to the glory of God, to the honor of our Father.

And “being transformed by the renewing of our mind,” renewal of our mind and the things of God. So taking this idea of modesty, and being a living sacrifice. What does my heart want to honor more as a believer? It should want to honor God over what I feel I have the freedom or choice to wear. I want to honor the Lord, I want to honor my husband, I want to bring glory in how I present myself and our family to the world. I want them to see the Lord in that.

And if they’re distracted by something I’m wearing, then I would call that into question. And I would hope a sister in Christ or my husband would call that into question lovingly and say, “Hey, I don’t know that you’re seeing things clearly.” [chuckles] Maybe that’s not how they’d say. They’d probably say it way better than that. But-

Ryan: That’s interesting you said “your husband, not any man.”

Selena: Right. Because I’m not submissive to any man. I’m submitted to you, my husband.

Ryan: Well, can we tease that out a little bit?

Selena: Yeah.

Ryan: I talked about being kind of in a position of authority in the sense, that I’m the worship leader asking women who aren’t my wife to be mindful of what they’re wearing. Now, get aside from all the touchiness around the topic of how you say it, and what exactly you’re calling attention to.

Selena: This was also like 10 years ago.

Ryan: Right. And I can imagine it’s not gotten any easier for people that are in similar roles. So I guess my question is, do—and I know the answer—but to church leaders somehow have a role in calling out immodesty among people [00:10:00] who are ministering in that context?

Selena: I honestly don’t know. I mean, if they’re ministering in that context and you are on stage and on display, I mean, you’re held that much more accountable. So my answer would be yes. Ideally, it would not be a man speaking to a woman but a woman to a woman and a man to a man.

Ryan: We haven’t really talked about this. But accountability, that’s twofold.

Selena: Right.

Ryan: Does that come up later? I think you had mentioned… someone you know it’s that there’s kind of two realms of responsibility. There’s a responsibility that the women have, there’s responsibility that men have. Because a lot of times the thing that’s pushed back against is a woman will say, “This is stylish. I’m not trying to show off my good.”

Selena: “My body and myself.” Yeah.

Ryan: “But that guy is just choosing the lust.” Obviously that can be the case. So there’s two kinds of areas of responsibility. There’s a woman being aware of the type… and you talk about this the type of attention that you’re attracting. And then men are not just being, you know, dogs that are just drooling over a piece of meat.

Selena: Right.

Ryan: And so there is a sense that I’m not… So if I’m at the grocery store… Here’s a good example. If I’m in a grocery store and I see somebody dressed immodestly, so yoga pants, tight, whatever, would have short shorts, who knows whatever they’re wearing, scrunching their hair, I’m not looking at that woman saying that she is an evil woman, she’s causing me to lust. That’s a really immature way to look at that as a man. I don’t know that person. I don’t know where they’ve come from. Why should I expect her to uphold the same stand in morality-

Selena: And typically, people-

Ryan: So it’s my decision to say, I will not lust after this woman. Instead, I’m gonna honor my wife, I’m gonna honor the Lord. I’m gonna divert my eyes, I’m gonna divert my attention. And remember that as a person made it the image of God. She’s not an object for my-

Selena: And typically, you know, the truth here is that when people do dress for more attention, they are more insecure than they might let on. So they may be wanting to flaunt it to get attention. But why do they want attention? There’s obviously some sort of insecurity there.

Ryan: Is there ever a woman who’s just to completely oblivious to the effects of how she’s presenting herself? Because I think-

Selena: I think it depends on what culture you’re raised in. Right?

Ryan: So I didn’t know this was, you know… Whatever the modest thing is, but they’re just saying, “What? This is just what I wear.”

Selena: Right.

Ryan: “I don’t know how-

Selena: Well, geographically I mean, we live in Southern California, where it gets to be 115 degrees in the summer. And it’s like you want to wear as little clothing as possible because you’re just hot. Right?

Ryan: Do you though?

Selena: But can you still be modest in your choices. Absolutely. Absolutely.

Ryan: I’ve ever been to La Jolla, which is a beach in San Diego and I didn’t even know if this person was wearing pants. It was, quote-unquote, “a bathing suit.” It was not that. It was something else. But I was like, “Is that person wearing…?” And I had to look away. That’s just about as little clothing as ??

Selena: Right.

Ryan: I don’t know. The reason I asked that is because our… I could hear the voices of like, I just wear what I wear. It’s not up to me to make sure that man doesn’t last. Or I had no idea. I’m asking you as well, because you said that women wear these types of things because they’re insecure.

Selena: Not always. But that’s usually the case.

Ryan: So you’re saying most of the time then, women are wearing this stuff because they’re insecure. And I’m saying, “Do they even… is that true?” is it the question I’m asking.

Selena: I just don’t know how you can go to a beach, and there’s women in swimsuits, and you see more of them than you ever wanted to see and they’re unaware of everything hanging out. How are you unaware of that? And how are you okay with that?

Ryan: Okay. But get off the beach now and go to the grocery store.

Selena: I mean, culture has definitely primed women to wear the tight, comfy pants. I own some but when I wear them, something covers my rear because I’m not out there to gain that type of attention. That’s not my intent. And should I have to do that?

Ryan: That’s the question.

Selena: Right. Should I have to?

Ryan: Should you have to wear a longer shirt because you…? Then I think that’s the heart of this conversation. That’s a decision you’re making. But why are you making that decision?

Selena: Because the heart is sinful and wicked, right? It’s sinful and wicked in me. It’s sinful and wicked in him. So me choosing to do that is choosing, I think, to honor the Lord in that and to not cause my husband… no, well, I keep… He can love me all he wants. But to not cause any other men to stumble over someone that is not theirs, to cause envy, to cause jealousy, to not…

I mean the Bible talks about not causing anyone else to sin, right? Like it’s almost worse for you to cause them to sin. I’m not saying that they are automatically going to sin if I wear something tight and short. But what I am saying is that I’m responsible for myself and my standard before…

I’m standing before the Lord and I want to honor Him in every aspect and area of my life. If you’re feeling defensive [00:15:00] or ruffled by that, then I would say press into it and give it some time. Again, motivation matters. Why are your feathers been ruffled? Why do you even take on that posture of “well, it’s not my job to regulate him.” I don’t think of that. I just think that I don’t want other guys lusting after me. That grosses me out.

Ryan: I appreciate that. It grosses me out, too. That makes me want to punch somebody. I mean, I think you’re aware of the fact that it’s not your responsibility to keep [inaudible 00:15:27].

Selena: Absolutely. Absolutely.

Ryan: But you also aren’t willing to just give them low-hanging fruit, so to speak. [both chuckles] That’s a poor word choice. But your motivation… I think that’s what we’re trying to say. And here’s what this podcast episode is not: is we’re not here to say girls, women should not wear bikinis, girls should not wear tight yoga pants, girls should not XYZ, they should not do these things.

I think some of those conclusions might follow given what we’re actually trying to say, which is we’re asking women to look in their hearts and say, “Is what I’m wearing honoring to the Lord-

Selena: Honoring to my husband.

Ryan: …honoring to my husband, loving to my husband, loving to my brothers in Christ?”

Selena: Is it modeling godliness for my children?

Ryan: And are you loving to other women? If you’ve been blessed with a physique that is classified as beautiful in our day and age, if you’ve been blessed with that naturally, or by hard work or whatever, is flaunting that in a way going to encourage spiritual growth in your sisters in Christ, and brothers in Christ, in your husband, in yourself. We’re asking you to examine the heart, right? We can’t do that for you. But we can say, “Here’s what Scripture says.” So why don’t we do some more of that?

Selena: Yeah. So we’re talking about Romans 12, and talking about like, do not live according to the world standards. Well, what is the world? The world is defined in 1 John 2:15-17. It starts with “Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride of life—is not from the Father but is from the world. And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever.” So-

Ryan: So we’re saying that this decision that you make today has an eternal import. As the world will pass away, the effects of our decisions and our affections and things that we love, the desires of the flesh, desires of the eyes. It’s interesting because that’s kind of both of them. Because girls… women… I’ll use the word women… they want to look beautiful.

Selena: Yes!

Ryan: Right? You don’t want to look-

Selena: But sometimes we don’t go past that “I want to look good. I want to look pretty, I want to look nice. I want to look beautiful.” Okay, well, again, let’s define what the standard of beauty should be, first of all, and then take that next step.

Is my desire for wanting to look beautiful and feel a certain way going to augment the fact that I’m a Christian or is it going to diminish that fact? Is it going to start, you know, putting that – what is it? A thing over your little light? [laughs]

Ryan: A bushel over your light.

Selena: A bushel over your light. It really just comes down to that. Like, yeah, you can’t control everybody and you can’t control men’s attention. But you surely can control what you’re wearing and your own accountability to the Lord.

Again, it’s not supposed to be legalistic. And it was really like, I love God so much that I want to honor him in my words, in my deeds, in what I choose to wear, where we choose to go as a family and every decision. Like, I want to give God the glory because Jesus died for me, and I am a sinner and I’m broken and I am not worthy of an ounce of His presence or His love, or His blood, for that matters, His sacrifice. And so-

Ryan: But He has adopted you in and now you’re living out as a result of that.

Selena: And my gratitude, my gratefulness, my desires, I want those to match what’s inside here. And so clothing and being modest. And it’s not saying you have to wear old, weird, funky clothing-

Ryan: You don’t have to make all your own dresses. [both chuckles]

Selena: You don’t have to do that. Believe it or not, there’s actually clothes out there that aren’t always super tight and they’re super stylish, and they’re really comfy, and they’re very cute to wear, and they’re not going to break the bank. So there are other options, I think.

Ryan: I sense some affiliate links coming on. [both laughs]

Selena: I wish. I wish.

Ryan: We don’t have any. [both laughs

Selena: But I do want to harp on this one point before we go to those two verses really quickly of just being transformed by the renewing of our mind. So how do we combat conforming to the world? And truly it’s through the power of God’s Word, through hearing it, through reading it, through studying it, through memorizing it and meditating on it.

So my question would be: are you fierce wife engaging in Scripture daily like this? Because if your feathers are being ruffled, I would venture to say that maybe [00:20:00] scripture is not bearing weight like it should in your life.

Are you being changed by God’s word? Is our motivation for dressing attire and adorning, which we’ll talk about that, ordered and instructed by God’s Word or by our own desires? Are we turning heads to gain attention for ourselves? Because the Bible talks about that.

We’ll go into these two passages real quickly. 1 Peter 3:3-5. They’re very similar. “Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair…” He talking specifically to women. “…and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear—but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.”

1 Timothy 2:8-9, “I desire then that in every place the men should pray, lifting holy hands without anger or quarreling; likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works.”

So I did a study on these passages. And Got Questions helped me out in that study. They said that both these passages are using, you know, a literary technique to compare what’s desirable and what’s undesirable. Jesus does this in John 6:27. “Do not work for food that spoils, but for food that endures to eternal life, which the Son of Man will give you.” And Jesus… he’s not saying, of course, don’t work for physical food, right? He’s telling us that you should be willing to work to eat. He’s comparing spiritual food to physical food.

I’m trying to emphasize what is desirable what is not. It’s not just “don’t braid your hair. Don’t wear pearls. Don’t wear gold.” If you look back in ancient times, again, you will see that these were things that women would use to show off a status, to show off like adornment, to get attention.” I mean, any sort of biblical fiction you will see all of this type of attire spread out across the pages to show off the external beauty. But God is trying to draw the attention to where the actual eternal beauty is, and where… He’s calling us again into the quiet, the gentle, the self-controlled spirit.

One that is in sync with in Genesis 3 when there was the fall and He said that the woman will want the position of the husband and that…

Ryan: He will rule over you and your desirable will be for him.

Selena: He will rule over you, yes. And so this call to what God sees is very precious is gentle, is quiet, is self-controlled, is modest. And these are the things that I want my Father in Heaven to say, “Yes, Well done. Well done.” That is what drives me to make the decisions that I make about what I’ll wear and when and why and how. [chuckles]

Ryan: I’m thankful that you didn’t braid your hair today and wear your costly golden jewelry and pearls. That’s good. It’s all about the heart.

Selena: It really is.

Ryan: And you mentioned that Genesis 3, you know, the distortion of the roles. People often think that the roles that we see in society and the roles we see in marriage are the result of the fall. No, the roles existed pre-fall. What the fall did is it twisted and distorted those roles.

And so the husband’s headship, loving headship turned into a lording over which we see within the wife’s loving, equality, but submission. We’ve used submission negatively in our culture. It’s not negative. It’s a very positive thing scripturally. It’s not a thing of weakness. It’s a thing of strength. But that’s been distorted into this almost desire to usurp, and almost use and wield the power that you do have, right?

Selena: Right.

Ryan: You don’t have any physical power over me.

Selena: How dare you. [chuckles]

Ryan: You could get a cheap shot-

Selena: With these guns.

Ryan: You can get a cheap shot in.

Selena: I get many cheap shots in. [both laughs]

Ryan: She does. I flinch a lot. [Selena laughs] But practically speaking, you couldn’t overpower me.

Selena: No.

Ryan: But you can overpower me with my affection for you. And if you so choose, you can manipulate me with how you look.

Selena: Absolutely.

Ryan: Now, if a man is so inclined to be visually uncontrolled, a woman who wanted to could control that man through how she presents herself and carries herself and interacts with him. Again, if a man is not walking according to the spirit, if a man is letting himself be tempted, this is a very real possibility. We see it over and over again in Scripture warning against this type of temptation. Women that would be in modestly presenting themselves for the goal of attracting attention-

Selena: Or achieving something that they find it to be advantageous to their status. Right?

Ryan: Right.

Selena: But 1 Corinthians 10:24 says, “Let no one seek his own good but the good of his neighbor.” Paul is writing to the Corinthians write about living in a way that glorifies God. [00:25:00] How does our dress not fall under that? How would you determine that it’s not…?

Again, motive matters. So what are we truly desiring here? Are we desire intention for ourselves, for our body, are we wanting value, identity, security, to be loved, and admired, or to be coveted by other women? These are not the fruits of the Spirit that the Lord is trying to produce in us.

So I guess I would just encourage you, wives, to focus on the things of God and not to be consumed or too ruffled up if you hear this podcast about clothing and looks in material things because they will pass away, right?

Jonathan Edwards encourages people… I love this quote. And I’ve been really trying to apply it to every part of my life. It’s very simple. You guys have probably heard it, about focusing on the eternal. It says, “Lord, stamp eternity on my eyeballs.”

And so if we’re consumed with the eternal, not just the here and now, the attention that I can get today, but if we are really consumed with eternity with our Savior, I really think that honoring and glorifying the Lord, and how we dress and how we carry ourselves and how we present ourselves to the world around us, it counts. And it should count. And it should bear weight that I want to glorify God more than I want to please myself. Like that is a Christian life right there.

Ryan: This is passage from 1 Corinthians 10. “All things are lawful, but not all things are helpful. All things are lawful, but not all things build up. Let no one seek his own good, but the good of his neighbor.” You mentioned that earlier.” So whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do it all to the glory of God.” It’s that notion that all things are lawful. And that’s the voice that I hear and we’ve heard so often when breaching or having this conversation, is they’ll say, there’s nothing wrong with it. Because the initial reaction is to-

Selena: Be defensive.

Ryan: …be defensive and to push back. And we’re here to say, listen, we’re just asking you, are you loving the Lord, honoring the Lord with that? If you can honestly look God in the face on that day and said, “Yeah, I did that solely for your glory.” And I’m not saying like, Mostly for your… like solely for your glory. I chose how to present myself for your glory. If you can say that, then we have nothing else to add.

And we’re just saying that the Lord has asked us to love one another in this way. It can feel very one-sided. You know what? A lot of how we love one another is one-sided. And that’s just the nature of the gospel that we love selflessly. It doesn’t mean we subject ourselves to all sorts of abuse, taking advantage of that, but we do love selflessly.

I don’t know if you want to ask them these closing questions, or if we have enough questions kind of hanging out there.

Selena: I think we do. I think I would just encourage you to ask yourself these questions. Have I been consumed with how I look lately? And why? Have I been scrolling and purchasing more than normal or beyond our normal budget? Am I posting more selfies? To what end? Why? What is it that we’re seeking? Are we trying to seek some identity, some value sufficiency, worth, and completeness in Christ?

And I’m here to tell you, sister, that you cannot find it outside of Him. And He is the best place to find value, to find identity, to find who you are under Him. I think I would just leave the question, how can we begin to adorn ourselves with what the Lord values rather than what I think I need or what I want?

Ryan: Okay. Let’s pray.

Selena: Okay.

Ryan: Lord, we love you. Thank you for your word. I pray that you give us hearts of wisdom. Give us hearts that desire nothing but glorifying you, that you transform our minds, transform our hearts. Give us a heart of flesh that we might consider first in these types of things where we could express and use liberty to justify things. Lord, I pray you would give us a heart that is motivated by loving you and loving each other well. Help us to discern not be legalists, but to be grace driven disciples. In Jesus name, amen.

Selena: Amen.

Ryan: If you watched this episode, thank you for making it this far. If you’re wondering what it means to become a Christian, we have a website for you. It’s the It just lays it out here’s what it means really simply and a few steps you can take down the path of walking out the life of a Christian, placing your faith in Christ.

Also, if you’re still watching this, this ministry is largely possible, I would say like 90% possible because of our patrons. So people that support us on a monthly basis faithfully and not really asking for anything in return just to see this work continue, we’re really grateful to you.

If you haven’t, consider that. We ask that you pray about it. If the Lord leads you to partner with us, you can go to There’s some options there. You will get some fun freebies. Things like rings and books and access to our online courses. [00:30:00] But don’t do it for that. Do it because you want to this mission continue. And we’d be grateful.

With that said, this episode of Fierce Marriage is—

Selena: In the can.

Ryan: We’ll see you again in about seven days. Until next time—

Selena: Stay fierce.


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If our ministry has helped you, we’d be honored if you’d pray about partnering with us. Those who do can expect unique interactions, behind-the-scenes access, and random benefits like freebies, discount codes, and exclusive content. More than anything, you become a tangible part of our mission of pointing couples to Christ and commissioning marriages for the gospel. Become a partner today.

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