Communication, For Men, For Women, Love

How do you respond when the pressure’s on?

This past week Ryan and I flew up to Washington for a friend’s wedding. For the past 3 weeks leading up to this trip, I had it planned that our departure time to fly home to Cali was 6:30pm Tuesday. Well, this was a first – it was 11:02am, the Tuesday of our departure and I was trying to check-in to our flight on my computer.

Low and behold, I had made the beautiful mistake of thinking our flight was at 6:30pm, when in fact, our flight had left while we were in bed at the ocean in Westport, WA at 6:30AM

The pickle

As the freaking out, fluttery feelings of stress began to set in, I called Alaska Airlines and after I chatted with a very sweet and amazing employee, she said, “Well, everything on our 6:30pm flight is full today, there is a 1:03pm flight, but there is a $385 fee change per ticket. Hold on for one moment, let me check with my Supervisor to see if we have anything else available.”

Aaaaaaand let the prayers begin.

I’m freaking out with thousands of questions flying through my head. Can our dog person stay an extra day? Ryan is going to be so mad because this all could’ve been avoided had I checked-in earlier and NOT relaxed at the ocean! What about our rental car?! We have under 2 hours to GET to the airport (at which point we were 40 minutes away; barely packed) and now we were going to have to pay almost $700 to get flights home?!

“Hello, ma’am?”

“Yes! YES I’m here!” (me, in case you got lost)

“So we NEVER do this, but I talked to my Supervisor and he said I could put you on the 1:03pm flight for $25/person if you can get to the airport by then – do you think you can do that?”

“YES! We will leave right now!”

After she took my credit card information, Ryan and I quickly packed our bags, asked his wonderful mom to mail our laundry (that was in the washer at that moment) to us, gave her a hug and ran out the door; it was on.

I’m trying not to stress, but it’s inevitable. Anxiety is taking form – as a line of cars on a backroad to the airport (thank you road construction! UGH.)

Ryan and I hadn’t really said anything to each other, only a “Let’s go! Do you have that?! Rushing and shoving things into the suitcase isn’t productive” (I think that was Ryan telling me).

As we’re driving, I look over at him, knowing an apology was inevitable.

“I’m such an idiot babe, I am so sorry. Why didn’t I see the times?”

Expecting him to be a little disappointed and slightly frustrated, since I’m the one who typically handles itineraries and schedules, he looked at me and said, “It’s cool.”


(Ryan) “I could’ve looked at the itinerary last night too and could have just as easily missed this detail. It’s not your fault.”


(Ryan again) “It’s cool. Worst case scenario, we miss our flight and stay another night or so. It’s cool. It would be cooler if we actually MADE our flight, which I think we will, but either way, I’m good.”

Now don’t get me wrong. Ryan doesn’t rule our household with an iron fist, but he had all the right in the world to be slightly frustrated with me for missing our flight. Turn the tables and I know I probably would not have been as “cool” about the whole ordeal.

Needless to say, we made our flight-walking onto the plane as our section was boarding (talk about timing).

Husband ministering to his wife

Ryan has always been patient and kind. He’s one of the most loving human beings I’ve ever met.

His patience and “coolness” in this situation spoke volumes to me about God’s grace and peace.

Sometimes we try and measure God by the only standards we know and understand – this world’s.

Thank GOD He’s not like us; ready to lay into our every mistake and remind us of how we’ve failed. Quite the opposite in fact.

He’s full of mercy, grace, forgiveness and even blessing in the midst of chaos.

Timing is everything

Did I mention that literally everything, EVERYTHING fell into place from the time I made the call to the airlines, to the moment we walked on the plane. We couldn’t have planned it anymore perfect.

I count that as a blessing.

Ryan’s example of patience, kindness and love in this potentially chaotic and frustrating moment in time, brought peace to my inner storm.

It reminded me of the overwhelming amount of grace that God has for His children – us.

In our marriages, it’s important to spend time with God through prayer and studying the bible.


Because it’s moments like these where the unexpected happens and we find ourselves at a crossroad of how we will respond.

God would ask us to respond like He would; full of love, grace and patience. Not letting the circumstance dictate our response to our spouse, but our hearts, that are following Jesus.

Looking back and laughing

Looking back, all I can do is giggle. God is so faithful even when we are so not.

He is steady, powerful and loving – all in moments when we show our VERY human/weak side.

Spending time with the Lord transforms you (Romans 12) to be more like Him, to respond more like Him.

Our marriage requires Jesus – us being Christ-like to our spouse, our life-partner, our best friend.

 Question: How do you typically respond in frustrating situations? How do you think God would prefer you to respond?


Have you heard of the The 31-Day Pursuit Challenge?

Every marriage begins with passion, purpose, and pursuit, but few stay that way. That’s why we wrote Husband in Pursuit and Wife in Pursuit Together, they make what we’re calling the 31-Day Pursuit Challenge. Couples are encouraged take the challenge together. We’re already starting to hear stories of transformed marriages! Are you up for the challenge?

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