For Women, Love, Priorities, Relationships

Proverbs 31 Woman

These past few weeks I’ve been spending time reading and absorbing Proverbs 31. Yes, the famous chapter in the bible about how to be a Godly, virtuous woman.

Growing up in the Christian community, I’ve heard sermon after sermon about how to be a “Proverbs 31” woman. Needless to say, it was a chapter that I was almost too familiar with.

If you read the chapter, verses 10-31 list out attributes of a Godly wife.

Reading with familiar eyes

In the past, I always read this as more of a check-list of things that I needed to do in order to BE the virtuous woman of God that my husband would want. I knew that if I did these things THEN I would be the Godly, virtuous, prized wife of Ryan.

Once again missing the overall theme and getting everything backwards.

Thankfully, I use an ESV Study Bible, and I wandered below to see what my bible notes would have to say about these verses.

In regards to Proverbs 31:30 (“Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.”) it read,

“The mention of a ‘woman who fears the LORD’ at the end of this long list of excellent qualities brings back the theme of the book of Proverbs stated in 1:7 (‘The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge, fools despise wisdom and instruction.’). It reminds readers that this woman excels in her fear of the Lord and therefore that she is a model of the character traits and wisdom taught throughout the book’s 31 chapters.”

(Stay with me! There’s a little more!)

” The appearance of this woman’s fear of the Lord at the end of this list is also a reminder that this quality is more important than even great skill and talent, and is foundational to the wise and right use of all activities and skills. A godly woman may well have outward charm and beauty, but these are of secondary importance to her godliness.”


WOAH. (Everyone take a breath)

For me, this was monumental to read in a chapter that I had read numerous times as a young person.

The idea that all the virtuous traits listed in Proverbs 31 starts with a fear and respect for the Lord is transformational.

When I stopped focusing on the check-list and went to the Source – that’s when I found what it meant to not just DO the items on the checklist, but to allow them to be a secondary organic outpouring of my walk with the Lord.

Being a virtuous wife begins with a passionate relationship with the FIRST lover of your soul – God.

Your relationship, your marriage

A sincere relationship can only thrive and grow when time is spent.

No matter how busy the day gets (I’m preaching to myself for SURE!) intentionally set aside time with your Savior.

Dive into the Word, pray to the Lord, seek out His ways for your marriage.

His Word is alive (Hebrews 4:12) and He is faithful to guide you.

Being the Proverbs 31 wife begins with a heart after God.

Matthew 6:33 (ESV) – “But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.”

Question: Are you focusing on a check-list of things to do or are you going to the Source?




Have you heard of the The 31-Day Pursuit Challenge?

Every marriage begins with passion, purpose, and pursuit, but few stay that way. That’s why we wrote Husband in Pursuit and Wife in Pursuit Together, they make what we’re calling the 31-Day Pursuit Challenge. Couples are encouraged take the challenge together. We’re already starting to hear stories of transformed marriages! Are you up for the challenge?

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