• Referenced scripture:
  • Exodus 20:17

• Recommended resource:
  • thenewsisgood.com

Selena: There is never a bad time to talk about relationships with in-laws, right? Is there ever a bad time to talk about that?

Ryan: Well, it depends on…

Selena: What you’re talking about?

Ryan: No. I know what you’re getting at, but I think there are moments when you can be in an argument and you want to bring up all the issues you have with your in-laws.

Selena: They can be big, easy targets.

Ryan: Yeah, and they can be scapegoats sometimes for things. But yeah, I don’t think there’s any bad time to really talk about it. And especially this time of year, as we’re recording this, we’re headed right into the holiday season, which means there is imposed on you an obligation to spend time with people that you may not be extra comfortable with.

Selena: Yeah. Or maybe you don’t see your in-laws that much. Just a lot of potential awkward opportunities.

Ryan: There’s a lot of expectations around traditions, around how maybe you cook a Thanksgiving meal, or what recipes you eat. There’s all kinds of things that can be minefields this time of year. It’s always a good time to revisit this conversation, not just around the holiday.

So if you’re catching this episode and you’re thinking, man, it’s not gonna be relevant to us because it’s not the holidays, whenever you’re listening to this or watching this, rest assured, it’s still a good time. So today we’re gonna give you some tangible steps to building a better relationship with your in-laws. So if that sounds helpful to you, we’ll see you on the other side.

[00:01:24]

Ryan: All right, Selena, I’ll start this one. What drives you nuts about my parents?

Selena: Nope, not walking into that trap. Nice try, buddy.

Ryan: Nothing.

Selena: Nice try.

Ryan: Nothing. We love you, mom and dad. We do. It’s sincere. Thankfully. And that’s maybe a caveat we can start with. I feel like I have a wonderful mother-in-law.

Selena: Yeah.

Ryan: Your mom’s objectively wonderful.

Selena: You have great parents. They’re very generous. They’re very kind and patient. I think this is how every conversation about in-laws should begin because this is the foundation. We do love our parents. We do want them to… I think at some level, the child inside of us really desires their agreement, their affirmation, their encouragement, their way to go, son, kind of thing. Still the attaboys here and there.

But ultimately, we’re accountable to the Lord. And sometimes that can be challenging when you’re at home with your family and maybe you don’t see each other often or maybe you see each other too often. Or everybody knows the minefields and-

Ryan: The elephants in the room.

Selena: The big elephants in the room.

Ryan: Well, yeah. And I’ll say that. So yes, that’s a great way to start these conversations. Also, even if you have wonderful in-laws that you have been blessed, they are still human beings. They are still sinners. They are still not perfect in terms of how they process information and how they communicate the things that are going on in their hearts and their minds. Nor are they going to think exactly the same way that you think. And some of that’s okay. We’re going to get into some of the details of how to delineate… where to fight and where not to fight, where to draw lines and so on and so forth.

Before we get there, if you have not yet considered joining the Fierce Fellowship, we would be honored if you would. That’s one of the main ways the Lord has seen fit to provide for this ministry, to provide, frankly, for the Fredericks, for us, and our four young daughters. And that helps us publish books, that then are another part of how God has provided for this ministry.

Selena: Amen.

Ryan: So, FierceMarriage.com/partner. And I will say this. I have missed doing Zoom calls with our patrons.

Selena: Aww. Our patrons.

Ryan: So I think what we need to do is maybe just a Zoom call. No like teaching. Just hanging out. I want to get to know you. We want to hear your story. We want to hear where God has brought you. We want to hear maybe some things you’ve been processing through kind of in real-time. If you’re part of the fellowship and that appeals to you, look for that announcement. I don’t know when we’ll find time. Right into the holidays. So we’ll see. We’ll see. But FierceMarriage.com/partner.

Selena: Yeah. I was going to say… I wish I would have thought about this at the beginning, but there really is not a bad time to have conversations about how to deal with your in-laws, have some, you know, okay, when we go, this is how we talk, you know, this is how we value our kids. This is how we kind of maintain frame of who we are as a family when we’re with them as well.

Because I think that there are… you know, I have a close friend who tragically lost her niece and they have had to kind of gather as a family. And a lot of things started coming to the surface. It just triggered a lot of trauma, a lot of past issues.

And I think that, you know, holidays can be very… I hate to say the word triggering. But igniting. Like very hot. They can just be hotbeds for all kinds of trouble. Again, starting at the foundation of, you know, we are family, we want to love each other, we want to honor you as parents, we want to respect you. But at the same time we can’t compromise who we are, right, in the Lord and yeah… in order to get, you know, our parents’ affirmation or whatnot.

Ryan: Right. And I know you don’t mean this, but we are not to be impervious to our family. In other words, they should be able to see things… if they’re seeing rightly. Now, not all families follow the Lord. Not all families are clear in their convictions. So, of course, you’ve got to think through what we’re saying through those lenses.

But when we say be true to yourself, we’re saying be true to what you know is right, good, and true, according to God’s word. And if they’re speaking something into your life that is correcting a wrong belief or a wrong behavior, we should be listening for that.

Selena: Right.

Ryan: And we should be humble enough to say, You know what, I may not like how you said it or when you said it or the fact that you said it, but you did say it, I need to deal with it.

Selena: Right.

Ryan: So that’s kind of the caveat. We don’t want to be impervious to our in-laws.

Selena: And being patient. We’ll get into some of this, but just reminding yourself that they are human. They’re flawed. Being patient, being gracious, knowing that they may not come around to maybe some of your same beliefs for a while. But you can still be salt and light, right, in this situation. So anyways.

Ryan: All right. So what are these steps? You’ve been titillated with steps. Please.

Selena: Well, I guess the biggest thing that you and I talked about, right, was what are our objectives as a couple when we are around our in-laws? You know, when we’re around family, when we’re around your parents, my parents. By God’s grace, our parents are believers. So there’s not a whole lot of that dynamic of unbeliever and believer. But I think we can come off, you know, at least speaking for myself, I can come off ungrateful and self-righteous. My pride comes up in…

Ryan: To your mom.

Selena: Well, to both of our parents. I think that’s definitely something that I struggle with. So how do we find clarity and unity around those attitudes or the things that we know that they’re probably thinking about us or that they’ve said to us? How does a husband lead in loving in-laws?

Ryan: When you get married, whether you’re newly married or you’ve been married decades, this reality persists, is that you’re taking two childhoods, two sets of assumptions, experiences, various cultural mores that have been built into you from your childhood and you’re merging those things together and you’re creating now your own culture as a family. Your own traditions. That is in every way.

But when the in-laws come around, they are operating in the culture that you came from. And so I will react to my parents differently than you will. So I have a higher tolerance for some aspects of things that are brand new to you — they were brand new to you when we got married.

Selena: Right.

Ryan: I’m like, I know nothing else. I love my dad. He’s a fairly intense guy.

Selena: You know, he would be-

Ryan: And he knows he’s intense. And he’s eccentric. And I love him for it, frankly. I love him for it. I’ve learned to really appreciate it over the years.

Selena: He’s also very humble.

Ryan: Yeah. And he loves people. And he’ll say things that are kind of ridiculous at times, but we’ve learned to hear them in endearing ways.

Selena: Yeah.

Ryan: Well, early on, we didn’t recognize that I’m used to that, it’s all new to you.

Selena: Right.

Ryan: Especially after you get through the first couple of years of your marriage and some of the decorum begins to fade and the true personalities come out, the true-

Selena: Comfort.

Ryan: Cultural norms come out. I think as a husband, you can have clear sight and at least recognize that and begin to see some of that and then proactively lead the conversations offline. So not in the back room during Thanksgiving. Like, “Oh, I’m so irritated. I need to…” Okay, that’s not the time to begin this dialogue.

Selena: We have been there guys.

Ryan: Begin it now.

Selena: It’s not a good time.

Ryan: And talk about, okay, what are these-

Selena: You’re like, didn’t you say the best offense is a good defense? I was like, yeah, for my awesome basketball years in high school.

Ryan: So we need to go on the offense by creating a good defense is what I’m trying to say. So when it comes to in-laws, we go on the offense by creating a good defense. Now, what is a good defense? Those are going to be your boundaries. So you need a lot of clarity and unity around what your boundaries should be, what they are currently and how they’ve been breached, and how to create healthier boundaries.

Selena: Right. I think that starts in areas like, okay, when our kids are there, what are some of… like, we don’t allow our parents to spank our children. That shouldn’t be their role. But we do allow them to put them in timeout. So we do say children, we are going to get a report from your grandparents. Or how are we going to talk about… like, we know maybe your mom is going through a lot and she just, or my mom or something, and she’s going on about it. And how do we kind of round out that conversation and give her hope in it, you know, and be a witness? Because we all fall into our ruts conversationally. We all have our own…

Ryan: Yeah. Yes. And so being aware of that, knowing the boundaries. You’re going to need boundaries around things like time. You’re going to need boundaries around things like what is said, how it’s said, in what way it’s said. You’re going to need boundaries around certain topics.

So you have to create that baseline that you can then see clearly and be in agreement on. And you do that offline beforehand. What is that baseline going to be based on? It’s going to be based on God’s word. Being kind does not mean that you have to withstand criticism just for its own sake. Being loving does not mean you have to sit through every angry rant of an in-law or talk about any topic they bring up or let them invade your space at any time they see fit. That’s not what biblical kindness is. That’s not biblical love. That’s something else. And so you need to…

Selena: That’s compromising. That’s acquiescing.

Ryan: You need to be able to clearly see what biblical kindness and love are, and then apply those to your in-laws by way of boundaries.

Selena: Right. I had like six things here and I added this last point because I think it might just be a great place to start. So we love our parents, we want to create memorable times with them, with our children. And one of the ways I think we can really just bond with them is to just ask questions. To stay curious. Ask questions about things you know they’re excited about. Ask questions about their favorite sports team. Or have your kids ask questions about, hey, ask grandma and grandpa about when they were little and what they did as kids at this age, or what were their favorite books? What were their favorite games? Why did they like to do these things? Tell them a funny story.

Our kids are always asking for funny stories about us when we were children. They’re like, tell us about what daddy did when he was five and blah, blah, blah. They love those kinds of memories. So I think one way you can be grateful, one way you can just kind of stand up, anchor the conversation, anchor the tone is to just really ask questions and be curious. Stay curious with your family.

A tangible way it was for us was a friend gave me a family tree book. So, you know, you have your family members kind of fill things in. And we’ve just kind of been taking it everywhere. And I plan on getting it out. Don’t you forget it. Don’t you doubt it.

It’s brought a lot of conversation about, wow, I didn’t know that my uncle had four brothers. I didn’t know that he lived in this area. And when you get family together, they start talking about more of the past. And it just kind of warms up the room, I think. And it opens people’s hearts and conversation. And the kids get to hear all those things.

So I would say the first one, I wrote it as the last one, but the first one would just be just ask questions. Be loving. Be kind. Don’t just try to like, I don’t know, dominate the conversation.

Ryan: Remember the goal of this episode is to give you some tangible ways to have better relationships with your in-laws. And so we started out by saying having a good offense means having a great defense boundaries, understanding those boundaries clearly where they come from. And you’re saying within those boundaries now to have that better relationship, that richer, deeper relationship, that intergenerational, multi-generational relationship is lead… you have in the notes here, read and lead the room.

So if you’re sitting around in the holidays, sometimes you can just… the kids can go off, they can play. Sometimes they’ll be off watching a movie or something or they’re out in the yard, whatever, or they’re just… I don’t know. We can be intentional with that time and say, we’re here together. Let’s gather. Imagine families before TV screens. This is what they did. This is how you were entertained is you would hear stories.

Selena: Grandparents played cards. They’d tell stories.

Ryan: Yeah. That’s a huge way to pass down the memories of your grandparents that to pass down their legacy by knowing them.

Selena: Well, intangibly speaking, I think one thing that I’ve learned to do… I feel like we always want to say a hard truth to someone in the family. Right. Because we always have some sort of beef with that.

Ryan: Oh yeah.

Selena: But the best way I found that is to like, you know, go talk to him, ask some questions if it comes up and you can make it come up. Maybe. Not in a manipulative way, but you know, you can say honest, hard truths humbly and with a smile. I think you can be clear and direct without cutting people down.

Ryan: What is our good friend John McGee… He says, I’m going to stay in the ring with you on that.

Selena: Yes. I totally use that too. Like when we’re having a conversation with friends they’re saying one thing and I disagree, I’m like, “You know what? I’m going to stay in the ring with you on this one. I’m going to give you a little pushback on this. What do you think about like possibly doing this? Because I really… you know, there’s this. And I think it adds a lot of both… you know, you just kind of go into it.

Ryan: It’s very disarming. But it’s also very clear that you disagree. But that doesn’t mean that you’re just going to stop and be angry and take jabs. You’re going to talk about it.

Selena: Yes. Absolutely. Absolutely.

Ryan: I’m going to try to use that one.

Selena: I’ve already used it.

Ryan: You have.

Selena: So many time.

Ryan: I need to. I need to.

Selena: Anyways.

Ryan: Okay. So that was the first one. What’s the next one?

Selena: Second one is grace upon grace. We kind of opened with this. Like we’re all sinners. We all need Jesus. We need His grace, His love. We’re always being sanctified and we need to rightfully understand our own sinful hearts before we start, you know, looking at the… Look at the log in our eye first before we start pointing or pulling out of logs from other people’s eyes.

Ryan: You know, I have gotten into the habit somehow. When I’m walking through a public place and… it’s always interesting if you people watch, right? I forget where we’ve been recently.

Selena: Airport.

Ryan: Airport. There it was. We were at an airport and you see just all manner of people all from all manner of walks of life, all worldviews, all political leanings. They’re all there because that’s the only place you can go to get on a plane and go somewhere else. And so they’re all there. You can just see the ridiculous things and just let it stay there. Like, Oh, what are we doing? You know, that woman’s got blue hair or that guy is, you know, he’s obnoxious talking on his phone and he’s doing another business deal.

Selena: Somebody had a phone plugged in like 10 feet across and you’re just like, what?

Ryan: So we can get hung up on that stuff and just let it stay there. But I’ve gotten in the habit somehow by God’s grace of saying, you know, that person is made in God’s image. What is that person’s story? Now we probably disagree fundamentally on the very fabric of the universe in some level, in some ways. And you know, we may not get a chance to talk about those things, but I don’t need to walk around just-

Selena: Nose in the air.

Ryan: Nose in the air or my eyebrows furled. That person was made in the image of God and I’m made in the image of God, and that we have that in common. We also have in common, like you said, we all need grace.

Selena: And what a witness and testimony to not just be judgmental and harsh in your mannerisms. So practicing that with in-laws.

Ryan: It opens you up. It brightens your face. It cheers up your very countenance to where now you’re approachable, you feel like you can approach others. You’re not just curled in and wrapped in on yourself, but you’re much more open. So that was number two.

Selena: Yeah. Number three is the whole “leave and cleave”. Leave and cleave. I think this whole episode is about that in some ways, because remembering our first ministry is, of course, vertically with the Lord. And then next it’s in our marriage and then with our children. We’re called to steward and to tend those relationships well.

But I think the parent-child relationship in terms of like in-laws… like I’m not a child anymore. I’m a grown woman, but I have a parent or parents, you know? It’s no longer a parent-child relationship in that way. Like I’m not looking for-

Ryan: You’ve left.

Selena: The authority is different.

Ryan: The authority.

Selena: Yeah. You are now the head. It just changes the dynamic of the relationship. And so we can’t live as if we are married, but also children under authority of parents.

Ryan: And that is something that has to be really overtly articulated.

Selena: It does, because it gets into the fabric of everything if people are overreaching-

Ryan: Yes. And I’m saying it has to be articulated, not just… not to your parents. I mean, yes, that, but to each other. I think a lot of married couples don’t ever say, we are now a unique family unit.

Selena: We are one. Yes.

Ryan: We are one. We still have extended family, but I’m no longer under the authority of my father in the same way. I need to honor my father. I don’t have to do everything he tells me to do. And I can do something he doesn’t tell me to do and still honor him. And my dad is… he’s not the kind of guy to tell me to do a bunch of stuff. And your mom certainly isn’t that way either as your mother.

But making that very clear delineation that we are our own family. As a father of daughters, I’m already trying to wrap my head around that, that inevitable fact. That when our daughters are given to their husband in marriage and they take the hand of their husband in marriage, they are cleaving to another man. I’m no longer the head over that daughter. She has a new head. And that’s right and good and true. And I want her to embrace that.

So as an in-law one day we will have to wrestle with the other side of this equation of leaving and cleaving. But if you’re in this and you’ve not yet made that very clear in your own marriage, do make that clear. And then when difficulties arise, you can begin to see how that informs your very vernacular, the words you use when you’re describing maybe why you might disagree with your in-laws.

Selena: Right.

Ryan: On something.

Selena: Which leads to number four of boundaries in terms of navigating kind of, okay, we are one. I mean, we’ve been married 21 years. So I feel like the boundaries are pretty clear and we’ve gotten practiced and really good at being able to communicate those boundaries with our parents.

But when you’re in your first couple years of marriage, you have to learn to advocate for your marriage covenant with your in-laws sometimes. We’ve talked to so many people who their parents are just overbearing or they just got their hands in everything and they bash the other persons. But you know, like if they’re my parents, they’re bashing you or they’ll just kind of like whisper or grumble or complain or… They’re just kind of be this-

Ryan: They can meddle.

Selena: Meddle, yes.

Ryan: And how insidious is that? You need to be really clear and saying, listen, if they’re voicing some concern, maybe just stop and say, your concerns are valid. Just know this. I won’t stand for you bashing my husband or my wife. If you want to talk about it with them here, that’s fine. But I need you to advocate for our marriage. This is my spouse. That’s not changing. And you need to recognize that.

And here’s the key to boundaries. Invite them into helping you enforce that. “Help me advocate for my wife in this. Right. Help me fight for my marriage in this. I need your help to enforce this boundary so that the good things stay in and the bad things stay out and we stay together.”

Selena: The next one is help. Look at you. I was going to say.

Ryan: Yep.

Selena: Number five is help. Allow them to be helpful. Invite them into being helpful. Tell them how they can be helpful. You know, hey-

Ryan: Helpful, not just in terms of your marriage, but helpful in life itself is what you’re saying.

Selena: In life. Thank you. I missed some of those words in my-

Ryan: It’s okay.

Selena: It’s all up here.

Ryan: I’m reading her mind so you don’t have to.

Selena: Right. So anyways, be clear with your needs. Set your parents up for success. Give them things that you know they can do and things that they want to do. I mean, you don’t want to be manipulative. Don’t patronize them.

Ryan: “Hey, can you babysit next weekend? Oh, I thought you loved your grandkids. It’s okay. I thought you loved them.”

Selena: “I thought you loved them.”

Ryan: “It’s fine. I’ll have a hard time telling that to them.”

Selena: Give them opportunities to help because that brings you guys into more agreement and to get a closer relationship. The number six is perspective. This one has a few points to it at all, because I think we need to nuance this conversation. Not all in-laws are believers. Not all in-laws love Jesus, know Jesus. Some might even outright just reject Him. In those times of being together, we still need to be salt and light.

And how can we do that? Can we do that in a way that’s not compromising? Because I think we want to people-please. Still there’s parts of us that want our parents to affirm us and agree with us. But unbelievers versus believers, it’s just going to change… You just can’t go as deep, I think, with conversations.

Ryan: Again, this comes down to that baseline that you’ve talked about in terms of what you believe and how it informs these relationships that you have.

Selena: Yeah.

Ryan: And so, yes, if in that conversation, you’re covering this ground, you’re saying, okay, I know my parents don’t believe. In fact, I know that they actively-

Selena: Praying for their… Yeah.

Ryan: That’s going to inform how they parent or they attempt to be involved in our lives. Our ultimate goal in prayer for them is that they would come to salvation. So when we’re together, here’s how… and I just heard a lecture on this, on how the Christian ethic and how we behave, right, the outcomes of our faith or the conduct, as we read about in 1 Timothy, of our faith is a witness unto the veracity of our faith.

That if we want to be salt and light, we don’t set out to be salt and light, we set out to be kind, we set out to be loving, we set out to be patient, we set out to use words that are whole, good, true, and beautiful with our in-laws. That’s a testimony in itself. That is the essence of Christian conduct and the Christian ethical witness. And so being a salt and light just means that you’re living out the Christian life in the context of a multi-generational situation.

Selena: Right. I think just tangibly in that, standing firm in things that might be happening. There’s maybe excessive drinking. Maybe there’s cursing or foul language or how children are viewed and treated like, Oh, I’m so glad the kids are gone, versus us like, thank you, Lord, for our children. I’m so glad they’re here to be around their grandparents. Again, being salt and light, not acquiescing.

Unfortunately, that can rub people the wrong way. But again, the boundary is that you cannot control them. You can only control your own response. So how can we be that testimony? And part of this, too, is just being honest and asking the Lord to give you pure motives. It’s holiness. I’m reading about the Pursuit of Holiness by Jerry Bridges, and just how we are made right and holy through Christ. But then we are also, as Christians, told by God, be holy as I Am holy. So we’re instructed to also be holy.

And so how does that work itself out in us dealing with our in-laws? It’s a reminder of what are our objectives? Like, what do we really hope to get through this experience? We want unity with ourselves. I trust and pray that he loves and leads our family well in how we interact.

I mean, there was some time, there were some moments that we had to take a break from our family in some early years because there was just some toxic stuff happening. And he led that. He’s like, we’re not going to go, you know, to his parent’s house or be around when this person’s here or something because it was toxic. It was enabling sin. But anyways.

Ryan: Yes, you have to get really good at loving confrontation. And to get good at loving confrontation, again, you have to be honest with… truly be honest with yourself. Like we just said, I am not faultless. I’m not blameless. I don’t know how to handle this situation. Here’s what I know. This is not good behavior. This is not a good way to talk. Or whatever the thing is. And it’s very disarming if you just say, I want what’s best for our family. That includes the in-laws, includes extended family. But I will not seek that at the expense of my nuclear family.

So until you’re able to dial this in and figure it out, and we’ll continue talking about it, but we need to leave. That’s hard to do. And depending on how your in-laws handle it, because they could say, oh, look at you, you self-righteous.

Selena: Well, and they might. And you might have to just let the cards fall or they may let the dust settle and revisit the conversation. And that’s okay. You have to be okay with the uncomfortable, I think, sometimes.

Ryan: Yes. And the hard thing is, is it may never get to a place you want to get to, depending on how reasonable or unreasonable they are, or how bitter they’ve grown, if that’s the thing.

Selena: Maybe they’re super negative. Maybe there’s lots that has just permeated their lives. And so it’s made it hard and difficult for them to understand your marriage, especially if you are believers, first-generation believers, maybe. Right? So you’re living under Genesis 2, where you’re leaving and cleaving. God made them the woman from the man, and they became one flesh.

Ryan: So here’s our final point. We are called to honor our parents. That doesn’t end when you get married. But honoring does not mean that you endure all manner of manipulation, all manner of toxicity, all manner of invasion.

Selena: Yeah. Honoring your parents when you’re 10 years old, versus honoring your parents when you’re 35 or 40. 40 and married, that looks very different.

Ryan: Yeah. What’s really beautiful about this is if you stand on the right ground, and you stand your ground, you will actually see your in-laws grow. And they will grow in their faith. They’ll grow in their affections for you and for your kids. This is a great opportunity, if you see it as such, and you wield the truth and what we’re talking about here.

Of course, there’s much more that can be said. But for today, hopefully you found something that was helpful and encouraging as you head into the holidays. And as you head into the holidays, the most wonderful time of year. I forget the guy who sang that song. I know it was Will Ferrell in the SNL version.

Selena: Michael Bublé.

Ryan: It was not Michael Bublé.

Selena: Oh.

Ryan: The original guy.

Selena: Oh.

Ryan: The original guy that sang that song.

Selena: Frank Sinatra?

Ryan: No. Anyway, I’ll Google it after this. It’s a wonderful time of the year because why? Well, we can be thankful. We can also experience or we can enjoy the advent of… celebrating the advent of Christ. You know, when Christ came and was incarnate. That is one of the foundational truths and what we celebrate during the Christmas season.

If you don’t know who Christ is, you celebrate Christmas, but you don’t really know what that means, you don’t really know He’s the same guy that we celebrate on Christmas, is the same guy we celebrate on Easter, on both ends of His life, so to speak, we want you to know Him. The best way we can tell you to do that is to talk to a friend who is a Christian and ask them, Hey, help me learn who Jesus is. I want to know Him. I want to place my trust in Him. Let’s read our Bible together. Take that step. It’s a step of faith. God could be calling you down that path right now.

The number two thing is to find a church that preaches out of the Bible. We have a website that has a church finder on it. The website is this: thenewsisgood.com. That gives you a brief intro to the gospel. But then the most important part is that you find a church that will continually preach the gospel and you’ll find a shepherd, a pastor to care for your eternal soul. We pray that you do that and we trust that the Lord will work as you do.

Let’s pray. Father, thank you for our in-laws. Thank you for the gift of family. Lord, I pray for the couples who are struggling with their in-law relationships, or maybe there’s pain around maybe a father or a mother, a grandfather, grandmother being gone in the season for whatever reason, death, illness, or they’re estranged. Lord, I pray that you would bring healing to that type of pain in the hearts of husbands and wives. I pray that you give them ears to hear your truth and eyes to see situations clearly. I pray you give them the boldness to live it out honestly, but without compromise. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

Selena: Amen.

Ryan: Amen. Again, FierceMarriage.com/partner. We’d love you to consider that. We’re hoping to do a Zoom call, just a meet and greet. Hey, how you doing? You know, who’s your daddy and what does he do? That’s kindergarten. Who’s your daddy and what does he do? It’s so good. So good. Maybe we’ll watch kindergarten together.

Selena: Okay.

Ryan: It’s our Patreon. It’s our fellowship, right? We do what we want. Anyway, be blessed. All right. This episode of the Fierce Marriage Podcast is—

Selena: In the can.

Ryan: See you again in about seven days. Until next time—

Selena: Stay fierce.