Ryan and I had the privilege of sitting down with last season’s The Bachelor, Sean Lowe, to talk about his first year of marriage to the lovely Catherine (Guidici) Lowe (who had a prior commitment). We asked him some pretty pointed questions about his faith in Jesus, how he fights fiercely for Catherine in their marriage, and how they navigate being normal newlyweds despite their not-so-normal dating relationship.
Long story short, we were in Dallas, TX on a business/personal trip, and we knew he had a book (For the Right Reasons) being released about his experience on The Bachelor (behind the scenes, and his relationship with Catherine etc.). Seeing as how they are a very visible, married couple, we thought it might be interesting to sit down and chat with them.
If you’ve been reading this blog for any period of time, you know we always try to point couples to Christ as the definition and source of true love. We were eager to hear from Sean about their experience on the show, and how they pursued purity despite all the pressures of being on an extremely popular mainstream show (especially given that he’s known as “the virgin bachelor”).
Full disclosure (on our part)
A little transparency from us. Neither Ryan nor I watched Sean’s season of The Bachelor prior to the interview (Ryan’s actually never even watched the show…), which we admitted to Sean who so graciously laughed and said, “that’s probably best.”
We know that Sean and Catherine met in a crazy way, and they have begun their journey as a married couple who love and follow Jesus.
No assumptions, complete honesty and transparency.
All about Jesus
“I am who I am because I’m a Christian,” stated Lowe, “He’s affected my total being; and I have a sweet sense of security because I have a Father who loves me. I don’t know how people who don’t know Christ get through tough times.”
Coming from a Christian family, who’s father is a deacon in the church, Sean is well-versed in what it means to follow Christ. However, if you’ve ever heard his testimony, he explains that it wasn’t until a bit later in life that he decided to fully commit his life to Jesus and actively follow him.
His relationship with Christ undoubtedly influenced his decision to marry Catherine,
“I wanted a wife that challenged me in my faith, and Catherine has fully embraced that,” said Lowe.
Just the Beginning
Although the show seemed like Catherine and Sean’s “happily ever after” ending, Sean was so humble to acknowledge it’s only the beginning – there is much more work to be done as they learn how to love like Christ.
I think we can all agree that no matter where or how your relationship began, the first year is always full of new challenges in communication; learning how to share your lives with each other (and in this case, all of America), pursuing your careers, walking out your faith together, and learning to be the spouse God wants you to be.
“Learning to love Catherine the way she needs me to love her has been one of the biggest lessons I’ve learned,” explained Lowe, “Being intentional, thoughtful with gifts, and dates – and spending quality time with her is definitely her love language.”
(And your Love Language?) “Definitely words of affirmation. I feel really loved when Catherine tells me she loves me or is proud of me.”
A Few Challenges
When we asked about his new book, For the Right Reasons, Sean explained that the writing process wasn’t the easiest on their marriage. “When I was writing about past relationships, it was difficult for Catherine because she felt like I was reliving them when my intention was to recap them only as a part of the story.”
Working to communicate and clarify intentions is a constant challenge in marriage no doubt. Thankfully, God uses these to sharpen and teach us eternal lessons.
For Sean, he said God was definitely teaching him to be a more thoughtful man through his marriage. Laughing, he humbly admitted to having (a few) “dumb-guy” moments and continues to learn from them.
When asked about any advice he’d give to newly married couples, he replied “I’m not a pessimist, but just know that you will have struggles and you will have to learn a ton about being married.”
Faith and Fiercely Fighting for Catherine
When asked how he fights fiercely for his marriage, Sean said that praying together and devotions (shared and individual) are a daily part of the Lowe household. “When we’re home we’re at church every Sunday,” said Sean, “and as the dust has finally settled over the past few months, we’re starting to get more involved with small groups too.”
Having a mentor couple who checks in with them on a weekly basis is another way they fight to maintain transparency and accountability.
And finally, by remaining teachable with these mentors and others they have given permission to speak into their lives, they’re able to better combat any division that might come between them.
(Pause: If you glossed over those last two paragraphs, read them once again. Hugely important!)
One of their pre-marriage counselors, Scott, helped Sean understand one of his roles as a husband, “[Scott] showed me that a woman’s heart is delicate. That it’s her husbands job to guard, protect, and cherish her heart.”
Christ at the Center – always
Whether you’re newly married, or celebrating 50 years, I think you’ll agree with me when I say that without Christ’s redemptive love and overflowing grace in our own lives, our marriage would’ve died a long time ago.
Thank you Sean for taking time to speak with us about your marriage, especially when you’re probably tired of sharing your personal life with strangers! Also, congrats on your first anniversary as well as the release of your book For The Right Reasons. We’re praying that Christ shines through your testimony, and that he will continue to work in and through your lives as a married couple.
Have you heard of the The 31-Day Pursuit Challenge?
Every marriage begins with passion, purpose, and pursuit, but few stay that way. That’s why we wrote Husband in Pursuit and Wife in Pursuit Together, they make what we’re calling the 31-Day Pursuit Challenge. Couples are encouraged take the challenge together. We’re already starting to hear stories of transformed marriages! Are you up for the challenge?