In response to many inquiries we’ve received, here are a few creative ways I’ve discovered to intentionally and authentically love my husband. They aren’t the end all be all, but my hope is that they will help spur other creative ideas, as well as remind us, as wives, how our words and actions can inhibit or spur on our husbands.
Intentionality, creativity, consistency and sincerity – you can’t go wrong shooting for these.
1. Love letters:
Seems a little girly I know, but honestly, I’ve never written Ryan a love letter and had him say “ewwww!” It doesn’t have to be sappy, just real. What do you admire and appreciate about him? What’s your favorite characteristic about him? What makes you proud to be his wife.
Be creative, and write it on creative paper. I’ve also used magazine pages that have a “manly” feel to them (mountains, oceans, rugged-ness) and written a love note with a sharpie pen. Be creative, be honest, and be intentional.
2. Spoken words of love and appreciation:
Say him how much you love him and come up with a different reason why each day (or every other day). Express how much you appreciate him; who he is and what he does for you, the kids, your family. Our men need to know that their hard work, sacrifice and dedication does not go unnoticed.
Ryan tells me that he never gets tired of hearing how much I appreciate all that he does for us.
3. Sweet touch:
Always recognize and take the opportunity to touch your husband – maybe on the arm, back of his neck while you’re relaxing; hold his hand, lay your head on his shoulder, hug him. It’s important for him to know that you’re thinking about him.
Some ideas: As you walk by, put your hand on his shoulder and give him a squeeze. Kisses on the cheek are always welcome. Put your hand on his leg and snuggle in close, touch your feet to his feet under the covers – don’t hesitate reaching out and letting him know how much you love him and are thinking about him, simply through touch. Give him a huge hug when he walks in the door!
It’s crazy what just a moment of touch can trigger and how quickly it can change the mood of your household and relationship.
4. Surprise Gifts:
What does your husband like? Ryan loves to read, so often I find myself scanning Amazon for any New Releases from some of his favorite authors and surprise him with a gift after work! Maybe surprise him with his favorite dinner? Take him out for a date night to his favorite restaurant.
Get into your husband’s world, find out what he’s into these days and figure out something creative to show him you love him and care about him. Is there an experience that he’s been talking about (hiking this, or riding that?) – maybe plan something special like this that he won’t ever forget! Make some memories with the gifts. Also, it’s not always about the gift, but maybe the meaning behind it (inside joke, a memory from the first year you were married, etc.).
Get it on girl! (or take it off rather) Showing your man that you love him by how much you want him makes him feel like he’s on top of the world. Whether it’s spontaneous, planned out, or a little afternoon delight be the instigator and let loose. Wear something sexy so when he walks in the door he falls all over himself. You may be able to prime the pump a little through texting him during the day. It’s ok to build up some anticipation – he will love it. Be creative and take initiative. Most importantly, show him “in bed” how much you love him; whisper it in his ears. Imagine you can’t talk, how would you express your love for him through your body?
Overall, the bible talks about how love must be sincere (Romans 12:9). All of these acts of love can only sincerely flow out of a heart that is first of all in love with Jesus. Not to say that if you’re struggling in your faith that you can’t show your husband how much you love him. However, tying it back to our Lord and Savior, Jesus – he is the first lover of our soul. Understanding his love allows us to move into fully understanding how to love each other sincerely, authentically and humbly.
Go get ’em fierce wife!
Photo courtesy of Gisela Giardino
Have you heard of the The 31-Day Pursuit Challenge?
Every marriage begins with passion, purpose, and pursuit, but few stay that way. That’s why we wrote Husband in Pursuit and Wife in Pursuit Together, they make what we’re calling the 31-Day Pursuit Challenge. Couples are encouraged take the challenge together. We’re already starting to hear stories of transformed marriages! Are you up for the challenge?