Commitment, For Men, For Women, Love

Battling Fear: Words of faith for marriages on the verge of death

Being bedridden with an intense migraine all day Sunday was not my idea of a relaxing weekend.

Attending church was not an option, so viewing a live stream was the next best thing.

If you’ve ever heard Roger Archer (of Puyallup Foursquare Church) speak, he is not your typical pastor. He is a fierce bringer of the Word.

Ending a 5 part series about faith, I was challenged, encouraged and wanted to share the beautiful words of Jesus that had pierced my soul once again.

Fear and death

Reading from Mark 5:35-43, the story of Jairus’ running towards Jesus because his daughter is sick and dying.

In the midst of his daughter facing death, Jairus runs to Jesus pleading for help. I love Jesus’ response (verse 36) “Overhearing what they said, Jesus told him, ‘Do not be afraid; just believe.’ ”

Some of us are facing death in our marriage.

Not so much physical death, but death of our relationship with our spouse.

Maybe you’re married but life at home feels more like you’re roommates rather than husband and wife…the connection seems lost and dying.

For others, maybe you’ve decided to not give up on your marriage after infidelity has taken place, but trust in your spouse seems dead at this point.

No matter the “death” you’re facing, Jesus’ words hold the same power and the same life that they did 2000 years ago when he spoke to Jairus: “Don’t be afraid, just believe.”

To trust or not to trust

We all face moments of either trusting Jesus or not.

One of my main battles for me in our relationship is fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of truly following the voice of God and going out on a limb and doing the uncomfortable, why? Because God asks me to.

Fearing what people think and say. Oh, how people are so quick to provide their opinions to your marriage, your spouse’s shortcomings and your pain.

And then there’s Jesus’ voice, beyond all the noise and clutter that is out in the world – Jesus’ consistent, powerful and loving voice is leading us: “Don’t be afraid, just believe.”

Jesus’ perspective

Roger points out that Jesus’ perspective on our lives is not our perspective. Jesus has a 40,000 ft. perspective and can see what we can’t. He knows what we don’t – His ways are higher than ours! (Isaiah 55:9)

Fellow warriors, Jesus died for us, so that we might live for him in every area of our lives, especially our marriages.

Living for him means trusting him and this does not always come easily.

But HE will never let you down. His perspective is not ours. He sees the victory in the battle, he already knows the joy, the peace and the hope that is waiting for your marriage when you decide to not be afraid and to believe in him.

He is the one who makes light out of the darkness (2 Cor. 4:6).

Some encouragement

Whatever “dark” days you’re facing in your marriage right now, you’re not alone. God is with you, He is for you and the “night” is as bright as the day to him. (Psalm 139: 11-12)

If you feel like your marriage is like Jairus’ daughter, dying…run to Jesus, fall at his feet and plead for him to help you.

He is faithful and just to bring healing. “Don’t be afraid, just believe.”




Have you heard of the The 31-Day Pursuit Challenge?

Every marriage begins with passion, purpose, and pursuit, but few stay that way. That’s why we wrote Husband in Pursuit and Wife in Pursuit Together, they make what we’re calling the 31-Day Pursuit Challenge. Couples are encouraged take the challenge together. We’re already starting to hear stories of transformed marriages! Are you up for the challenge?

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