Commitment, For Women, Love

Covering your spouse

Ever had those mornings where the chaos seems to escalate the closer you get to the door?

Welcome to last Tuesday morning in the Frederick household.

Every year Ryan and I take about a week off and take our time driving up the west coast to visit family and friends and to escape the blazing heat of the desert for a few weeks.

Staying with parents is always a fun adventure. Especially when they have dogs and you have dogs (first ingredients added to the mix of our chaos cookies – check!).

Needless to say, it had been a long weekend and our schedules were already on the fritz.

Second ingredient: ring around the rosy (the car version)

Having one car and needing to sort of be in two places proves to be challenging as well. (Are you feeling the temperature rising yet?)

In the middle of trying to get all our plans worked out for the day, of course our parents are super generous and helpful in that they let us borrow their car, but they still have to get to work and do all of their daily tasks as well.

Oh, and then you add working from home and needing to do a “google-hangout” with 4 dogs, one of which is a pup who is quite vocal…

Ding! Chaos cookie has been cooked and is now ready to eat!

At this point, I’m at my boiling point…I’ve tried to prep Ryan for this busy day…He is still frustrated because of well, work, meetings, barking young dog and a sore neck (it’s a long adventurous story of a man-scursion he had over the weekend).

I’m sure you’ve been there. Flippantly saying things you don’t really mean and storming out, but trying to keep your cool because remember – you’re mom’s downstairs.


I could tell that both of us wanted to scream – ok, maybe me. Ryan isn’t a screamer, unless a riff from one of his favorite bands comes on the radio…then you might get a “YES!!” type yell.

The opportunity

Honestly I don’t know what came over me, but looking back, I’m pretty sure it was God prompting me to chill and cover my husband.

As my mom and I were walking out the door, I calmly explained the driving situation, told her that Ryan had a lot of work to do today.

I didn’t get into the fact that (I felt) like he was having an attitude and not being helpful in the slightest.

Setting aside my attitude and feelings (which does NOT come easy for me, if I can be honest) I walked out and simply tried to love on my husband by letting him work and me carrying a bit more of the weight today.

My only response

Being able to help Ryan and to cover him blessed me deeply.

There is no one else in the world that get’s this opportunity to love my husband in this way; to cover him, to help him, to be his right hand man (woman).

Don’t get me wrong, I am always willing to put up a good fight, especially if I feel like there is an unbalance or injustice in the situation.

But when I took a step back, looked at the situation and thought about how much I love Ryan and how thankful I am for his provision for our family – my only response could be to cover him.

Understanding God’s love even more

It’s so easy to see the faults of our spouse and be angry at them.

I’m not saying that we, as wives, are suppose to carry all the burdens and enable our husbands in areas that aren’t healthy.

God did call us to love; and how can we not when He first loved us? (1 John 4:19)

Through setting aside my feelings and attitude in a moment where I could cover my husband and help him to shine, proved to me that being selfless is how God wants us to love each other in our marriages.

God demonstrated His own love for us, that while we were still sinners (Romans 5:8) HE COVERED US!

Who, that you know would send His one and only Son to die for us – WHILE we were sinners.

Our example is set.

The Aftermath

About 30 minutes after I left, Ryan texted me.

Apologizing and thanking me for everything and offering to help out with the car-circus.

I love him so much. There was no way that I could throw it back in his face.

Love is patient and kind.

What an opportunity we have each day to love our spouse as God asks.

Wives: It’s a beautiful, joyful blessing to cover your husband. There is no one else who can love him in this way.

Proverbs 31:11 (ESV)

“The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain.”



Have you heard of the The 31-Day Pursuit Challenge?

Every marriage begins with passion, purpose, and pursuit, but few stay that way. That’s why we wrote Husband in Pursuit and Wife in Pursuit Together, they make what we’re calling the 31-Day Pursuit Challenge. Couples are encouraged take the challenge together. We’re already starting to hear stories of transformed marriages! Are you up for the challenge?

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