Being authors of a marriage blog comes with its ups and downs. On the upside we get to be on the receiving end of encouraging messages (thank you!).
On the downside, it’s super easy to coast along, feeling like you have it all together as a married couple… but believe me, there are seasons where we feel as if we are coexisting rather than being married.
Have you experienced that feeling in your own marriage?
Seasons of thriving intimacy and communication; where everything seems “right”? And then a week later, you’re wondering who this person living with you is, because he/she is definitely not the spouse you married.
For Ryan and I, we’ve recently come out of the latter.
Trouble In Paradise
Coasting is dangerous for any marriage. You know the feeling: when you’re forcing things to work, feeling like things are working, and from the outside, it that everything is alright….that’s where we were.
On the inside, we felt like we just weren’t connecting the way we have in the past. To be honest, the scary part to me, was that I wasn’t sure if we were ever going to get back to “us.”
Thoughts of ‘Well, this is just your life and you need to accept it‘ started taking up space in my head; even ‘You have both changed so learn to make the best of it.’
It’s not like we were arguing all the time. We weren’t even fighting, but we also weren’t growing together and neither of us could understand why.
Definitely feeling a bit of spiritual warfare happening in our marriage, we duked it out (metaphorically speaking) in a frustrating, painful, tedious and vulnerable conversation with hopes to uncover whatever it was that was keeping us from connecting as husband and wife.
It boiled down to, what it always boils down to: Jesus.
In short, we both were forgetting Him. What He did and who He is in our marriage and in our lives. Ever so slightly, but enough to keep us agitated and frustrated (for months).
At the end of our talk, we both felt God’s grace flood our hearts. We apologized to each other and felt a weight lifted. Our slate was clean once again, and by His grace, He set our unworthy feet on His path once again.
No Magic Formula
The only thing I can do is share the One answer with you. The One who reminds me how much He loves me and how much I need him.
I need a Savior. We need a Savior – daily.
I need His grace in my marriage and over my family just like you.
When you’re marriage feels like you’re walking through a hot, dry, desolate desert and doubt begins to take residence in your mind, look to His Word and be reminded of His love.
Accepting the fact that we need Him is the beginning of what it means to fight fiercely in your marriage.
We absolutely believe that it takes a fierce tenacity to fight for your marriage, but that fierceness must be founded and deeply rooted in the King of Kings.
What do I mean?
Being founded in the life, death and resurrection of Jesus Christ means He is our Rock; the One we live for because He died for us.
He is not simply our inspiration, He is our Savior. He has paid the price for us and now He lives and invites us to life with Him.
The Gospel, or Good News is understanding, believing and accepting what He did on the cross: the life that he lived, the death He experienced and His resurrection is life-altering and transformational!
Believing that He is the Source for the eternal things our hearts desperately long for (e.g. peace, joy, acceptance, love, life, healing) and that we can lean into His great love.
Truly, there is no act of love that is greater.
John 15:13 words it beautifully,
“Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.”
My Redeemer Lives
Jesus conquered death and gave up His life for ours.
This weekend serves as a perfect reminder of His great love for us.
No matter what you’re facing in your marriage at this moment, let me just say, our Redeemer lives and He has defeated death!
Take hope in Him and celebrate the beautiful salvation He so freely gives.
I’m not sure my heart has ever felt so much gratitude and joy leading up to Easter. Not because of anything we think we have gained in this life, but because of His grace poured out on my soul.
By the work that Jesus chose to do on the cross: to give up his life, for ours; to come down and take on human flesh – to selflessly and lovingly die so we can forever be with Him…this is what we celebrate.
FM family, this weekend let’s be reminded of the message of our King and the sacrifice of our humble Savior.
Let’s celebrate our Lord and the fact that He is alive!
Photos by Jeff Marsh.