We’ve all been on Pinterest and seen the marriage quotes, relationship quotes, quotes galore – you’ve probably even seen them on our Facebook page.
Lately I’ve felt prompted to uncover a bit more of why we post what we post and how we are (and try to be) intentional about what’s on our site and social media platforms. There are many different messages out there, especially about marriage; honestly, I’ve always had beef with them.
Buckle up, this post is relatively unfiltered… :)
The real focus
I don’t mind reading a good quote that puts into words something I’ve felt, experienced, or understood to be true, but have not been able to communicate it myself. It’s like those songs that literally put words to your heart.
As one famous poet once wrote, “Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought, and the thought has found words.” (Frost) It is definitely fine to experience beauty through words and appreciate it for what it is!
However, my main beef is with quotes like “Success in marriage is much more than finding the right person; it’s a matter of being the right person.”
Ok, I get it, but the entire focus is on me being the right person. It sounds fine at first, but is it based on God’s word?
When I begin to filter through some of these types of quotes on marriage, questions start reeling around in my head such as: Are they really Godly? Where is the focus being put? And are letting quotes like these dictating the choices I make in my marriage? If so, why?
We’ve also seen quotes like “Life is too short to worry about stupid things. Have fun. Fall in love. Regret nothing, and don’t let people bring you down.” At a passing glance, this seems harmless enough, right?
Pretty sure this is not remotely close to what God’s Word says about how we, as Christians, should live.
It’s scary to think of the decisions we’ve made based on pop-cultural quotes we’ve read.
I get frustrated with myself when I respond to Ryan with a prideful, no regrets, type attitude. When I ignore something we agreed on (e.g. expenses, etc.) because I now deemed a conversation and agreement that we’d had as “stupid.”
Wow, how quickly I replace the God’s Words of Ephesians 5:22 “Wives submit to your husbands” with “No regrets and we’ve got the money…our agreement isn’t valuable to me anymore. I’m going to do what I want because I want to have fun!” (NOTE: I’m using an extreme translation to illustrate my point).
We’ve all been there. Rationalizing sin and stumbling across a “good” or “inspirational quote” that affirms our feelings and desires.
Pop culture and our marriage
It shouldn’t come as a surprise to us when we lean on anything other than God’s Word and we end up with a lackluster result.
How many times have you heard the phrase, “I love him but I’m not IN love with him” used to justify divorce? Pop culture’s definition of love is not the same as God’s. According to the Bible, love is not something you fall in and out of.
How about “She’s not my soul-mate“. Is the cultural concept of a “soul mate” even biblical? What does that even mean?
Misplaced confidence can ruin a marriage, heck it can ruin anything. Confidence rooted in God, His Word and obedience to His instructions will ultimately lead to authentic and true peace, joy, and completeness.
God’s Word instructs us on true healing. Peace in the middle of storms can only be found in Jesus; and joy that is founded in Christ!
I thank God for His unconditional love and His never ending grace. By His grace He gives us the Word (the Bible) – and His Word is not selfish or prideful, it’s instructive and alive!
Hebrews 4:12 says, “For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart.”
When we line up the message of God’s Word against the messages we see in pop-culture, we are at a crossroads in what we choose to believe. If God’s Word has taught me one thing, it’s that only HE is faithful and HIS WORD is true.
The Bible is filled with countless stories of people who tried to follow the ways of the world they lived in – or who were scorned for not succumbing to what their modern culture was defining as “good.”
As we write and share through Fierce Marriage, it’s our heart that we ultimately share God’s Word and truth and not pop-culture or catch phrases.
It’s our hope, for you, as readers, that you would share in our reliance on the truth of God first; keeping in check the subtle misleadings of well-meaning-but-false pop-cultural catch phrases. Let’s be mature followers of Christ – clinging to the solid truth of God’s word, and constantly checking ourselves against it. (1 Corinthians 13:11)
As the Fierce Marriage community grows and matures, our prayer is that we all develop deep roots in Christ. It’s only those roots that will hold us strong when storms crash around us.
Father, thank you for your Word that is true and powerful. May we continue to search desperately to know your heart and to understand your will for our lives.
Help us to guard our marriages and our lives against words that would leave us in a place that you never intended for us to go. Help us to trust you in every moment and to live out our marriages in obedience to your Word.
Thank you for the men and women fighting together and fighting fiercely for their marriages. Be our strength!