Everyday we are facing different battles in our faith which directly affect our marriage.
Lately, to be honest, I’ve had a difficult time walking in the freedom and forgiveness that Christ offers to his followers.
It’s been one of those weeks where you feel like everything is wrong and that you’re pretty much to blame for it. As I looked around at my circumstances, I felt more and more devalued, unworthy and burdened.
As a wife, it begins to take form with edginess and intolerance towards your husband.
I’d lash out at Ryan for a simple question he might be asking, simply because I was already feeling vulnerable and just a hot mess – so why was he picking at me?!
Being women, I think we tend to (more often than not) read into what people are saying based on our own insecurities.
Blame your boss, blame a coworker, friend or even family member; there is always someone to blame for our bad attitudes. The real question isn’t “Why is that person so annoying and treat me like that?”
The real question, is what is inhibiting me from walking in the freedom, life and peace that Christ died on the cross for me to have?
The real battle
We face a real spiritual battle not against flesh and blood (Ephesians 6:12). The battle we face is not against the people in our lives, it’s the brokenness and human “flesh” side of us that wages war against what God has already done for us–set us free!
Living in a place of burden and emptiness is exactly where the enemy would have us stay.
As wives, some of us get stuck here (I know I was this past week!).
It’s a scary place to be, but by God’s grace and His incredible, undeserving, unconditional love, we don’t have to stay there.
Finding strength in God’s Word
I absolutely believe that God allows us to face trials in order to strengthen our faith. He allows this because He loves us.
He doesn’t leave us to figure out all the WHY’S in life. He gives us His Word – that is alive and powerful (Hebrews 4:12).
After some tears and tough, honest conversations with God and my loving husband (who’s patience seems unending) I dove into the bible.
Colossians 2-3 breathed life into my heart.
Col. 2:6,7 (ESV) – “Therefore, as you received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in him, rooted and built up in him and established int he faith just as you were taught, abounding in thanksgiving.”
“Walk in him…rooted and built up” — week in review, I was absolutely NOT finding my strength in Jesus or in his love for me.
How quickly we forget the word Jesus did on the cross?!
Start asking the right questions
I started mowing around the questions of How do I walk in Jesus? Rooted and built up?
For starters, I don’t look around and blame everyone else for being mean, annoying and making me feel devalued. My worth is and can only be found in Christ alone.
My peace, freedom, and life can ONLY be found in Jesus Christ.
Verses 13,14 – “And you, who were dead in your trespasses and the uncircumcision of your flesh, God made alive together with him, having forgiven us all our trespasses, by canceling the record of debt that stood against us with its legal demands. This he set aside, nailing it to the cross.”
Breaking it down, when Paul is talking about circumcision in this passage, he is referring to our sinful nature as humans.
We were all “dead” spiritually at one point until – UNTIL God made us alive “together” (love that – we are never alone or forsaken!).
Not only did he make us alive and forgiven, but he also cancelled our record of debt–he set it aside “nailing it to the cross.”
What to do next time those feelings come around?
So when my head starts spinning with thoughts of insecurity, unworthiness and heaviness – I go to the cross and point the enemy at the work that Jesus has ALREADY done for me. It’s finished!
The only ideas that I need to focus on are that of the things of God (Col. 3:12-17).
No longer do I need to feel weighed down or burdened by my insecurities and lack of achievements or you fill in the blank.
Christ’s love is mind-blowing. To choose to die for humanity -already deemed unworthy and broken…
“This, he set aside, nailing it to the cross.” (Col. 2:14)
Jesus, thank you for loving all of us enough to allow us to go through some tough times in order to grow and understand your love more so that we can share it with others in our worlds. Thank you that our peace, freedom, life and joy can all be completely found in you. We give you this day; our lives, and our marriages. May we be lights for your in a world that so desperately needs your love. Amen.