Challenges, Dating Your Spouse, For Men, Love, Sex & Intimacy

Our 30 Minute Massage Experiment: His Perspective

I didn’t want to do this experiment. No desire at all… but I’m actually very glad we did.

Denis and Emma, the creators of Melt: Massage for Couples, had been trying to get a hold of me via email for over a year! (…sorry guys) After speaking with Denis, Selena and decided to give it a try.

Selena shared her perspective in a previous post – it’s definitely worth the read to hear what unique takeaways she had. Now it’s my turn; here’s what I learned…

Massage? No thanks.

The one time I got a massage from a stranger was possibly the most awkward 30 minutes of my life. Ironically, I was 10 times more tense afterward than I was when it started.

I’ve also tried those Sharper Image chairs that mechanically and methodically punch you in the back until you need to see the chiropractor. I’ve never not limped away from those things.

And then there were the massage trains in youth group… You know, the kind where everyone sits in a line and gives the person in front of them the “hands-like-crab-pinchers shoulder squeeze” for an unspecified and inappropriate amount of time.

For me, massages are about as awkward as it gets. I’d rather just be left alone, I feel fine! Maybe you agree?

I think there’s a reason for my dislike up to this point. First, I’d like to discuss that. Then I’ll share my findings during our recent “30 Minute Massage” experiment and why my mind is changed forever.

There’s nothing like a massage, here’s why

I don’t mind being touched at all! After all, touch is a love language of mine. Hugs are great, high-fives are super fun, and handshakes are endearing. And secret handshakes are just the best.

Massages are special though; there’s nothing like ’em.

Think about what’s actually happening: you have a totally separate person placing their hands ALL over you and applying pressure with the expressed purpose of giving you relief from pain and pleasure in discomfort. It’s not supposed to be “sexual” in the pragmatic sense of the practice, but getting a massage is undoubtedly an intimate experience.

Slight side bar: This may be why I find it cringeworthy when guy friends of mine casually greet me with a shoulder rub while I’m sitting at a coffee shop, unaware of their arrival. Even when they’re joking, I just want to slouch out of my chair until I fall on the floor so I can swiftly shimmy away and run to my car.

Indeed, massages are just different, they are special.

This 30 Minute Massage Experiment of ours helped me identify exactly why they are a unique experience, and in-turn, it showed me how awesome they can be!

3 things I learned during our 30 Minute Massage Experiment

1: Massages are FUN

Selena and I had a blast! There’s something about trying a new activity with your spouse that breaks down walls and opens up your hearts. We laughed… a lot. This was probably because the new techniques, though simple, take time to improve. Whether we were applying the massage oil or perfecting our “swoosh” technique, we were having fun.


Denis and Emma

Thankfully, Denis and Emma demonstrate the techniques well in their video series. The exceptional camera work helped us see exactly what we were doing wrong and make adjustments. The pacing is good, so we didn’t feel like we had to constantly pause and go back to figure things out. Like I said, we had fun!

Also, the techniques we learned felt amazing. It’s remarkable how you can relax when it’s your spouse who has their hands all over you (and not a total stranger!). Fun all around.

2: Massages are FREE

Now that we have a few legitimate massage techniques in our arsenal, we can do them virtually anywhere. With a little baby girl at home, we don’t get many “romantic” nights out. Now we have something new we can do after she goes to bed. We don’t need to hire a babysitter, we don’t need to go out and spend money, we just need a few minutes and a little privacy.

Here’s what’s really awesome: we will always know what we’ve learned! We definitely feel like the time and energy we invested in learning the Melt techniques will pay off for years to come.

Disclaimer: The video courses are not free, but they are worth the investment because of the reasons mentioned above.

3: Massages are FRISKY

As I mentioned above, massages don’t have to be sexual but they’re most definitely intimate. Full disclosure: it actually didn’t lead to sex for us… THIS TIME! I can definitely see how it will (as I’m sure you can too).

We’ll definitely be using what we’ve learned in Melt to enliven our sex life. We realized that a massage can be started with the intention of leading to sex, or it can just be to serve your spouse in a close-but-not-sexual way. The cool thing is that in the latter case, it just might lead to some spontaneous “something something”, as Denis would say.

Worth noting: Denis and Emma keep the videos VERY clean. You don’t feel like you’re compromising by watching overly sexual or semi-nude actors–that would be a nonstarter for us. Also, Denis is a masterful instructor who explains things clearly and in a disarming manner.


Just like Selena wrote, I was skeptical about Melt. I figured “why fix it if it’s not broken”. Well, sometimes the motor runs alright but a few small tweaks can make it run so much better! This experiment showed us some new ways to build intimacy and have fun. Also, the techniques are extremely easy and they feel incredible.

Care to try? More About Melt

When Denis asked us to do a review, his only requirement was this: be honest. He’s that confident in what he’s created. In fact, Denis has been doing this for a long time; he knows his stuff.

If you’re looking for something new to try with your spouse, I highly recommend giving it a shot. There’s even a discount available until Sunday: 20% OFF. It’s called “A Father’s Day He’ll Remember” – so that’s timely!

Click here to try Melt: Massage for Couples

Click here to watch Denis and Emma’s Melt video

Thanks for reading, friends. Stay fierce!

Have you heard of the The 31-Day Pursuit Challenge?

Every marriage begins with passion, purpose, and pursuit, but few stay that way. That’s why we wrote Husband in Pursuit and Wife in Pursuit Together, they make what we’re calling the 31-Day Pursuit Challenge. Couples are encouraged take the challenge together. We’re already starting to hear stories of transformed marriages! Are you up for the challenge?

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