Dating Your Spouse, For Women, Love, Sex & Intimacy

Our 30 Minute Massage Experiment: Her Perspective

When Ryan approached me about trying out an online course called Melt (Massage For Couples), and then writing about our experience, I was pretty skeptical. Even before I watched the first video I had tons of questions: (e.g.) who is putting the video together? Is it wholesome? How will it help marriages? Will I even be able to do these massage “moves” (as I called them), and was it something valuable that we should invest our time and energy into? Lord knows we all have PLENTY on our daily “to-do” lists.

Hopefully this will bring about some quick assurance to those of you who are reading this post and are as skeptical about this whole couples massage course as I was.

I’m happy to say, we’ve done the research, tried the product and honestly, Melt has proven to be more valuable and useful (on a daily basis) than we could have expected!

neck-massageDenis and his wife Emma do a fantastic job of keeping it pure, wholesome, educational and definitely “PG.” Ryan even spoke with Denis a few days back and said he was a very genuine and “classy” guy (as he would say… lol).

After getting hands-on (pun intended) with the courses, Ryan and I are excited to share our experience with you, our FM community. And trust me, we have done our due-diligence, ran this through our filters and spent a ton of time making sure it will add value to your marriage.

Without further adieu, I’d like to provide you with my 3 take-aways from our experience, which might inspire you to try Melt: Massage for Couples.

1. User Friendly

This was important to me because, honestly, I was a little intimidated by the whole thing. The perfectionist side of me wants to be a pro-masseuse right out of the gate, and the realist side of me felt like it would just be plain awkward (Ryan and I aren’t really massage people…we tend to stick to the crab pincher hands technique on the shoulders). Thankfully Denis is a pro and a masterful teacher. From setting the atmosphere, to where/how you should sit and apply massage oil (and what oil to use) he walks you through this experience smoothly and efficiently. It’s not awkward, it’s very liberating and helpful. No booklets or pages to fumble through, just click on the links and get started. His videos are short (I think 7 minutes was the longest) and strategically placed for each one to build off the other. Easy to use, simple and educational.

2.  Versatile

One of the things Ryan and I absolutely loved about this course, for us personally, is that it’s a resource you can use to connect with your spouse even outside your bedroom. The simple techniques lend themselves to any occasion; from sitting on the couch, recapping after a long day, or celebrating your anniversary with a romantic evening. Melt allows you to connect with each other through physical touch, often leading to other forms of intimacy (yes, sex), but also communication, or even just having the feeling of being “connected.” Understanding how to properly massage my husband opened up opportunities for me to serve him in a new way and express my love for him physically, which is one of Ryan’s primary love languages.

3. A Lifelong Gift

Melt is a gift that keeps on giving. It’s a perfect wedding gift for engaged couples. It’s also a great way to explore intimacy freely in your marriage. Denis and Emma provide a top-notch product that give you the guidelines, but let you interpret it with your spouse. Connecting through touch is powerful, but it doesn’t always automatically lead to sex. Whether it’s a way for you to reconnect with your spouse after a rough day/season, or a gift to him/her for a special occasion, you can use Melt over and over (and over) again. By modifying the simple techniques you can potentially have a new experience every time. Also, if you’re struggling with intimacy and connection (which I think we all go through seasons), Melt is a perfect opportunity for you to bless your spouse and open the door and begin the conversation. The techniques are easy to modify making them last a lifetime.

Quick Side Notes

When you first start the course, make sure you communicate and manage each other’s expectations. Carve out time, get a sitter for the kiddos, and be ok with the fact that it might not end with fireworks. Take the pressure off each other and just have a little fun.

Honestly, Ryan and I had to re-watch a few courses, and laughed at ourselves while we fumbled through different parts of the video. Not because it was difficult, but because Ryan and I are just silly like that; it’s “us.” Remember you’re both learning, so extend grace to each other, and definitely watch a few of the courses before you get hands on (pun intended).

Thankfully Denis keeps it simple, so if/when things start heating up, all you have to do is hit pause, or just go for it.

Due Diligence

Please know that Ryan and I do our research and have various filters that marriage tools/resources have to pass before they see the light of the blog. We care deeply about the FM Community and don’t want to post anything that hasn’t been prayerfully considered. In an effort to keep it real and pure, we only try to offer tools that will help couples grow in their intimacy; first with Jesus and then with each other.

Our prayer is that Melt might be one of those tools to help you grow intimately with your spouse.

Potential Father’s Day Gift for Your Husband?

I almost forgot… ladies, if you’re looking for that last, unique Father’s Day gift, this may be exactly what your husband would enjoy most. If your man’s primary love language is physical touch, this could be a perfect gift to show him (now and in the future) just how much you love him. This doesn’t mean it’s always supposed to lead to sex, but know this: the best touching is always intentional and filled with love. And as we’ve found, massage is a new (and unexpected) way we’ve found to be closer.

In fact, the courses are 20% off until Father’s Day…so yeah. Great timing!

Here’s the link to Denis and Emma’s massage courses. Why not give it a try?

That’s it! Have fun and stay fierce, friends!

(PS: Check out this video to learn more)

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  • Follower

    Wish you would use a different photo than the one from above the woman while he massages her. She may not be but she looks naked. Not something I want my husband seeing.

  • amber

    I have struggled with jealousy in my marriage because I need to work on building up my very low self-confidence. Also, my husband has struggled with looking at women (even if a woman is doing a move on a yoga video that seems provocative), as well as looking at pornography. Women’s looks are such a weakness for men if they are not careful. My husband was raised in this world that teaches us to center everything around the way a person looks. He was also allowed to watch movies with sexual scenes in them as a child which I’m sure Is part of what contributed to his weakness and temptation. He has and continues to conquer this everyday. I know there is a possibility that he may give in to temptation again one day because he has done it a couple of times on our marriage (clicking on one of my yoga videos and watching I for one minute before closing it out; not a horrible crime but still a sin. Also falling victim to all the talk about nude celebrities). It hurts to think of your husband looking at another woman how he should only be looking at you. All that said to say I love the idea of Melt, but I would not feel comfortable showing this to my husband. He is a good man, loves God and puts him first and he is a good Christian leader/husband. But this might be temptation for him. I don’t want him to sin before God by giving in to looking at another woman lustfully, and it would really hurt me. We try to be prepared and stay away from anything that would cause temptation. However, I am sure this program can be enriching for some married couples. As far as your blog, I just discovered the FM blog about a week ago and I’ve started to follow you guys and even send some of your blogs to my husband ( we love “Fight Naked”, lol). Thank you for being so open to sharing your experiences with other married couples. We need all the support, wisdom and advice we can get for marriage today. God bless you both and your marriage.

    • Selena Frederick

      Amber,
      Thank you so much for sharing and being honest with where you both are. I think there are people who are reading your comment and in the same sort of situation – so thank you again for your honesty and kind words! So appreciated. Thank you for following us – we’re all learning and growing in this thing called marriage =) -Selena

  • I’m planning to take the course… My wife is a Licensed Massage Practitioner and blesses me regularly with her skills, knowing that physical touch is my primary love language. I would like to be able to help her feel better when she is in pain due to tension or body aches, but I don’t have the knowledge or skills she has, nor do I have a lot of time to dedicate to learning it as she did over 2+ years of her training and the ongoing continuing education she has done. Though she has tried to “teach” me some things, it seems that her teaching style and my learning style are not compatible and I’ve wound up not helping her or unfortunately making her feel worse. This course seems ideal for me to try to learn some fundamentals to help my wife without hurting her and the price is reasonable. Thanks for sharing it!