Announcements, Updates

Fierce Marriage & Family Update #1

It’s funny, we get pretty personal on this site about our marital struggles and epiphanies, but on other things we tend to under-share. I think we assume that not many folks would be interested to hear the nitty-gritty details of our everyday lives, or perhaps we just don’t make time.

Either way, we see the FM community as a valuable extension of our family and friends – so I feel it appropriate and necessary to provide a very quick update on what’s going on in our lives, hearts, and minds.

I think I’ll try to make these updates a bi-monthly occurrence, so I’ve titled this one Update #1. If I’ve missed anything you’re wondering about, please feel free to ask me about it in the comments below.

With that said, if you’re interested, read on! If not, no hard feelings.  :)

What we’re thinking and dreaming about

The biggest thing on our hearts & minds for 2015 so far is to focus more on making Fierce Marriage our jobs instead of maintaining it as a side gig. This means we need to figure out a way to make it self-sustaining – to provide enough income for me to stop working. There is so much need in the church for biblical counsel in marriages – there’s too much work to be done to keep this as our side gig. I met with a pastor friend yesterday and he confirmed what we already suspected. We feel the urgency more than ever.

So, Selena and I figured the most biblical way to do that was to ask our readers for support. We’ve done that at length on our partnership appeal pageThe response has been encouraging! We’re about 25% toward our monthly goal (currently at about $1,000/month, we’re shooting for $4,000/month). We’ve got more work to do on that front, but it’s an awesome start and we’re extremely grateful!

Aside: The most unexpected blessing has been the moral support of the small group of early partners. We’ve had some fun dialogs via our dedicated Facebook group (we invite all partners to join), and I’m just starting to realize that it may be the best benefit we get from the whole arrangement!

If you’re passionate about Christ-centered marriage ministry, we’d be humbled and grateful if you’d consider partnering with us as well. If so, click here.

Moved Closer to Home

We’ve moved closer to family, into a (small, but awesome) 1 bedroom apartment in Gig Harbor, Washington. It’s been great, and we’ve downsized even more than before (how is this even possible??). However, we’re learning the beauty of simple living, where less truly is more.

We even got rid of our TV, which has made for some fun conversations after Adelaide goes to sleep. Normally, we’d just zone out and watch reruns of the The Office, but now we’re reading much more and talking about unexpected things. We’ll probably post about some of those conversations in the near future…

Family Happenings

We’re enjoying being closer to family, and our move was more timely than we thought. We recently found out that Selena’s grandma has brain cancer, and the prognosis isn’t looking great.

We spent Christmas Eve in the hospital with her and the family rallied together to make a Christmas dinner memorable in the hospital conference room. It was a memory we’ll never forget, and we think grandma enjoyed it as well! 

Another baby?

Dela Party-41We’re not pregnant yet, but we’re talking about having another baby this year (God willing). We have days where we’re enthusiastic and excited about the possibility, then there are other days where we think it’s the worst idea in the world (we’re usually very short on sleep on those days).

It’s in God’s hands, and He’s much better at family planning than we are. :)

Fierce Marriage Workshops

workshopWe are finalizing details for our first ever Fierce Marriage Workshop! It will be a one day event at Storehouse Church in Puyallup, WA. We plan to speak three times, have one husband/wife breakout session, and answer questions via a Q&A panel. It’s shaping up nicely, and hopefully we can learn how to replicate it at other churches around the country.

The goal is to get ourselves and our readers out from behind our computer screens (and phones) to discuss real-life marriage issues and build relationships. We have no idea how it will turn out, but we’re excited nonetheless!

If you’re in the Northwest and would like to attend, please email me to let me know you’re interested ( ryan  [at] ). I’ll make sure you get instructions to register when the page is ready!

Other Fierce Marriage Initiatives

We’re working on a few tangible things to equip churches and individuals to build stronger marriages on Christ. Here are some of the items we’re working on (a more detailed list can be found on our partner page.)

  • Online pre-marriage course
    8-12 weeks of marriage essentials for newlyweds and engaged couples.
  • 30 Day Couple’s Devotional
    I’m currently writing a devotional that aims to reset and reboot marriages. Scripture, commentary, questions, and exercises. Should be fun.
  • Our 1st Book
    We’re studying, writing, studying some more, and writing some more. We hope to finalize the first few chapters and finish our proposal over the next two months.
  • Online resources
    We’ve got a database of 100s quotes ready for the world – all Christ-centered and encouraging. Just a few things are needed before making them available. We’re also trying to find better ways to make our images accessible to those interested.
  • More
    This is a short list. There’s more we’re working on, but those are the main things.

I think that covers it. Questions?

Did I miss anything you were wondering about? Please feel free to ask us anything in the comments below and I or Selena will respond. Thanks for reading and being a part of the FM community.

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  • Shawn Manley

    Sweet! I’m so grateful for your service to many, and to me and Cheryl. Thanks for the update.

  • Tayler Beede

    Thanks for all you do! So cool–we’re just a couple hours north in Bellingham. :)

    • Very cool Tayler! Any chance you’d be in Puyallup on Feb 7th? We’d love to meet you if you’re able to join us for the workshop…

  • Glenna Rae Strommer Frederick

    Your parents are very happy and thankful that you are in the area as well! We love seeing you two and our grand-daughter and are very excited to have another grandchild, in God’s timing of course! Love you!

  • Rosemary Sanchez

    I love everything about Fierce Marriage. It has defiantly helped me a lot in my marriage. It’s such a huge blessing!!! May God continue to bless you both!!!!!!

  • Sachl123

    I love this …. I’m so excited about 2015 for fierce marriage. I look forward to the two-day seminars that you guys have plan.

    • We hope to have many more workshops. Where are you located (if I can ask)? We’re looking at other towns/cities to have them, and it’s good to get an idea of where interested people are.

      • Sachl123

        Classification: UNCLASSIFIED
        Caveats: NONE

        I am located in Colorado. A hour outside Denver.

  • LMB

    keep doing what you are doing! My client gave me your website months ago, I’m a real estate agent and a LARGE portion of my business is divorce. I send your link to my clients (bold yes) all the time. My husband and I had filed for divorce last year and now are working through staying together. We both look to your site for encouragement. God has a plan …. the world needs more dedicated people like you! Seek out ad sponsorship-that will help you finance.

    • Wow! Thanks for being so bold about sharing the gospel (via FM) with your clients. God is good.

  • Michelle

    A MOPs friend at church shared your site and our whole group has been reading and loving it up!! It is so nice to have a place that shares both male and female perspectives all in one, and encouraging reminders that we don’t have to be perfect in our marriages everyday. There is not much out there that supports young marriages and families and all of the trials and tribulations we face. God is definitely calling you to form this community for a reason. Thank you!

  • Dana

    Sounds good. Can you make your couples devotional based on the KJV of the Bible? Best of luck. This is an important work.

    • Thanks Dana, we’ll probably base it on ESV since that’s the translation we both read most often. Though, KJV is a beautiful translation to read.

  • “There is so much need in the church for biblical counsel in marriages – there’s too much work to be done to keep this as our side gig.”

    YES & AMEN! The harvest is huge, and the workers are few. Praying for you as you make the transition. (We will be full time marriage minstry in less than a month!)

  • Kimberlee

    I just found your site via FB. I am really looking forward to reading through it and sharing it with my new husband! Thank you!!

  • nessa

    I think it’s awesome what you and your wife are doing!!! Please let me know when you want to come to NYC I would love to attend a workshop!!! God bless you’s and this vision he has given you!!!

  • belinda

    well said “there is so much need in the church for biblical counsel in marriages – there’s too much work to be done’: May God expand you and empower you with grace and all the spiritual blessings in the heavenly places eph1:3

  • Jevi Amechi – Eze

    I’m looking forward to using the marriage devotional. I’m a newly wed and I know it would be great for me.

  • Michelle

    I’m reading in South Yorkshire over in England and our 4.5 year marriage has been blessed by the things we have read/learnt both from you guys and some of the people you engage with, such as Matt Chandler and his book mingling of souls!

    We have 3 very young beautiful daughters and no family close by so we really are trying to learn how to be more intentional ensuring our marriage gets the attention it needs to thrive.

    Biblical teaching on marriage is scarce here in the UK just like you say it is in the USA.

    Thank you both for your dedication and commitment to this God given ministry.

    Standing with you in prayer

    In His Amazing Grip of Grace x

  • Betsy de Lira

    You should do something in spanish for Mexico.!!

  • TP Molotsane

    You guys are a true inspiration. I usually get to work at around 07:30 and once I’m settled in and I’ve switched my laptop on. I open up my google chrome app and the 1st webpage I log on to is your blog. Even if I don’t get to check it out immediately, that webpage will remain open for the whole day(thank God for the minimize button). And this is without fail, Monday to Friday. Everyday I hope to come across a new post and if I don’t, I just go back and read previous posts that I might have maybe missed out on. I even go as far as sharing some of them with my wife and friends. For me personally, there is always something I can apply in my everyday life. Sometimes I’m left with a lot of questions because even though I’ve only been married for a few short weeks, I’ve always had a desire to go into “couple’s ministry”. But anyways, keep up the good work and hopefully one day you can make your way down to South Africa for a FM workshop. God knows you could touch so many lives out here in Africa.

  • Is there another update after this? I can’t seem to find it.