Boundaries are biblical. Boundaries are also intuitive: we all know we need them. Still, why do we feel that our boundaries in and around our marriage are constantly in flux or non-existent? In this episode we looked at three main reasons why we lack clear boundaries in marriage, and talked through some of the underlying principles that help us live with stronger boundaries in marriage.…
The Importance of Encouraging Words
I remember the way it made me feel to hear her speak the nicest things in the world to me. She went on and on about how talented I was, how nice I was, and how meaningful I had been in her life as a songwriter and pastor. The words felt good. Real good. They were incredibly gracious and over-the-top nice. But there was a…
Identifying *and* Explaining How You Actually Feel
Talking is a skill, and not everyone has it. In fact, most don’t! This is usually a result of being obscured—or unseeable—to ourselves. A skilled communicator knows how to identify and explain how they feel, and that usually starts with knowing how to examine your own heart and mind. In this episode we talked through the biblical foundation for knowing yourself for the purpose of…
6 Tips for Spouses on Opposite Ends of the Communication Spectrum
I’m a talker— I process verbally, I enjoy public speaking, I was on the speech & debate team in high school. My husband— Andrew— is a man of fewer words. He takes more time to process information. I’m actually struggling to complete this description right now, so I asked him for input. His response? “I think that’s it.” Yup, that about sums up our different…
The Art of Active Listening
Most people rarely experience being *deeply* listened to; you can give your spouse that gift! Last week we talked about Selective Hearing, which is all about catching every drop of what your spouse communicates. This episode puts that conversation on steroids: learning how to seek out and gain insight into each other and internalize it in healthier ways. If you ACTIVELY listen to this episode,…
You Love Your Phone More Than You Love Me!
Do you ever feel like you’re competing for your spouse’s attention? And your competition is… their phone? This is such a tricky subject to broach— mostly, I think, because we’ve all become rather attached to these little screens. They entertain, soothe, delight, and engage us with little-to-no pushback. People, on the other hand, generally require a bit more from us. I want to tell you…
Dealing with Selective Hearing
There are three types of selective hearing, all of which have the same result: poor communication. Today we talked through the common ways couples fall into selective hearing habits and cover tangible ways to break the habits in their relationship. We hope this episode helps you! Our new marriage learning project ~~Gospel Centered Marriage~~ is now open for enrollment! It’s a great way to build…
4 Keys to Connect with Your Spouse When Your World is Crumbling
Intimacy requires investment. Connection requires cultivation. We cannot expect marriages to grow and strengthen in the course of regular, daily life— or the added chaos of any trial!— if we are not willing to invest time, energy, and servant-hearted love in the relationship. In the early years of my marriage my husband and I had no clue how to cultivate real connection. It took years…
How to Talk About Sex
Every healthy married couple should not only prioritize sex but also communicating on the topic of sex. None would likely disagree (at least, not in most modern contexts), because what can a couple lose by talking about their sex life together? This a peculiar topic because it’s one area where we’ll heartily agree with the culture’s message: it’s right, good, and healthy to talk about…
Talking about talking
Healthy communication is like breathing: you take it for granted until you can’t do it. This week we’re starting a series on communication by laying some groundwork and dissecting the Bible’s most common verse about communication (hint, it’s not actually about communication). Finally, we cover 5 basic habits every couple needs to talk and listen with greater skill and intentionality. We hope it blesses you!…