I’m not a natural romantic; but I think I can change that. I’m realizing that my ability to love my wife well greatly depends on my intentional, ongoing pursuit of who she is and what she’s feeling. That’s the essence of romance: intentional pursuit. I’m not just talking about covering the bed with rose petals and lighting a few candles. That might be part of it……
Staying Connected to your Spouse with Littles in the House
We are in the season of having young children in our house: two sweet daughters, Adelaide (age 3) and Clementine (6 months). This, sometimes chaotic, new reality we find ourselves in is one we have waited and prayed for (yes, we prayed for chaos, somewhat unknowingly LOL). And as beautiful and wonderful as having little ones is, it has without a doubt affected and challenged our marriage…
Irritating Car Rides & My Subtle Holiday Pride
Around the holidays my pride flares up in nuanced ways. It’s subtle, and you could even say it’s harmless but I assure you it’s not. As I’ve thought about it more, I’ve realized that I’m trying to be better than others — and it’s exhausting. Yep, I’m talking about the ugly kind of pride.
Me, My Anger, & My Marriage
On our drive home from a pretty fun evening out with the kiddos, Ryan and I got into it. After sifting through my feelings of him being a jerk to me in front of our friends while he was thinking he was “helping” me he asked me, “Over the past few years, it seems like your default response to things, (situations, relationships, etc.) that you don’t like or…
Identifying & Ending Cycles of Harmful Behavior in Marriage
I watched a video a while back that completely wrecked me. It’s a message delivered by Francis Chan where he talks about the parable of the sower. As he explained Jesus’ words, one phrase hit me like a ton of bricks: “Don’t assume you are the good soil.” If you spend any time online, you’ll read dozens of Christian pick-me-up phrases daily; bite-size sermons condensed to…
Reflections On Hardship in Marriage
Over the years (particularly on social media) I’ve seen arguments back and forth about a wealth and prosperity “gospel” and how it aligns (or doesn’t align) with the message of Christ. As I read through some of the articles, I started thinking about how these conflicting messages affect marriage. In John 10:10, Jesus talks about “life to the full” or “abundant life.” What exactly does that mean for…
3 Big Fears Most Couples Face and the Only Way to Shut ’em Down
How many times have we allowed fear to dictate our decisions in marriage? Ryan and I are somewhat opposites in the fact that he is more of a daredevil; ready to summit that next mountain; ride that next wave or simply try a new (somewhat risky) experience without much hesitation. This is one reason why I fell in love with him! On the other hand, I’m…
Video: 4 Important Things to Remember When Talking To Your Spouse
Communication is perhaps one of the most important aspects of your marriage. Many (like us) don’t realize that communication is a true skill: it must be practiced with mindfulness and diligence; otherwise you won’t grow. This all sounds painfully obvious, so I do apologize, but it’s still a huge problem area for most couples! Selena and I have definitely had our share of communication issues! However,…
How Christ’s Suffering Speaks to Suffering In Our Marriage
With Easter quickly approaching, I’ve been spending time in the book of Matthew reading about Jesus’ crucifixion and the Lord has been opening my eyes and mind to the suffering he experienced this Holy Week. All too often I feel I gloss over the deep anxiety, despair, abandonment and betrayal that our blameless Savior walked through in order to give us the opportunity for eternal hope and life with him.…
Their Story: Dealing with Hardship When All Hope Seems Lost
My friend has a story that may change your life forever. About 6 months ago I asked Nathan and his wife, Anna, to consider writing this guest blog post. I did so knowing that their story, while incredibly difficult, needed to be told. Why? Primarily, to show God’s grace and faithfulness, even amidst suffering. But also to help others who may be facing, or will face,…