One of my latest struggles or insecurities has been in the area of confidence as a wife.
Living in “mommy-toddler” world for majority of my
day life can sometimes make it difficult to transition into wife mode when hubby gets home. (Not to blame the littles, God knows we love and adore them and are so thankful for their precious lives; please don’t get me wrong.)
I’m just saying that in my experience, it’s easy for me to forget where, or Whom, my confidence and security comes from.
Forgetfulness often affects our attitudes and approach to our spouse, as well as spilling over into other relationships (e.g. kids, friends, family, etc.) and ultimately shifting the focus from Him to us.
How do we deal with this forgetfulness? How can I walk through my day with my chin up and a deep peace (Phil. 4:7) that surpasses all understanding?
It’s easy for me to forget the work that Jesus did on the cross; that He paid the ultimate price so that I could approach the throne of God with complete confidence (Heb. 4:16) in the midst of hard times.
Remembering the beautiful message of the gospel should lead me back to the confidence that Jesus gives, and that He isn’t finished with me (Phil. 1:6).
When I’m lacking confidence in the eternal things (e.g. full acceptance, security and peace) that Jesus’ life, death and resurrection provided for me, it means I’m forgetting…forgetting that these things are made fully available, at anytime, in abundance for this weak soul.
God’s Word is so faithful to light the way in the midst of our insecurities that often cause doubt, hesitation and fear. The Bible is the perfect place to be reminded of the promises He gives to us.
Where Our Confidence Comes From
Reading His promises and trusting His promises are two different things.
I’m often guilty of “reading” (ehm, skimming) through a verse or chapter, hoping for sanctification, but settling for a surface form of peace instead of trusting the Word.
When we trust His Word and hold fast to His promises, He is faithful to meet us – to come alongside us, lift our head and say, “I am with you; I will never leave or forsake you.” (Heb. 13:5-6)
Having total access to God our Father; our Sovereign King and Creator of the universe might sound a bit intimidating, but that’s where Jesus comes in, my friend. When God looks at us, He sees the righteousness of Christ! (2 Cor. 5:21)
Because of His love, we are made new (2 Cor. 5:17) and are seen through the fullness of the work of Jesus.
Importance of Confidence in Marriage
As wives, I think we all deal with confidence on some level, and the reality is that it will affect our marriage.
When we forget what Jesus has done, the promises and access He has given us, then it becomes challenging for us to experience His grace and extend His glory in our marriage.
Often we can become focused on external things as our source of confidence and security which may put undue pressure on our spouse to provide more…whether it be financially or emotionally. This strains our marriage and shifts the focus from Him to us.
By God’s grace we can live securely in the fact that His love is unconditional, He’s completely accepts us where we are and offers complete forgiveness. This, my friend, is the path to a confident wife, and one who’s husband has full confidence in her (Prov. 31:11).
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