Guest Posts, Reviews

What is “Your Best Us”?

A few years back, Selena and I were thinking about moving to Dallas for school. It’s a big decision so we decided to visit for a week. During our stay, a few things happened:

  1. God made it abundantly clear that we were NOT supposed to move there.
  2. We discovered how cold Dallas can get (temperatures in the mid-20s and gusts of wind over 30 mph)
  3. We experienced how brutal it is to travel with a one-year-old
  4. I met a few incredible men who love Jesus and want to see the gospel transform marriages.

Ted Lowe was one of those men. Thanks to a few God-appointed introductions, I found myself sharing some Texas eats across the table from Ted. As a young-ish guy at a table of slightly older and much wiser men, I mostly just listened. As I ate, I got to hear about what God was doing across the country through the various marriage ministries represented there. Ted’s ministry, MarriedPeople, is no exception. They continue to minister to married couples around the country through events and online resources. The best part about what they do? They love Jesus.

That’s why I’m happy to have Ted as a (rare) guest contributor to Fierce Marriage. Without further ado, here’s Ted. Enjoy!


When the TV show This Is Us premiered last year, I panicked. I had just released the book Your Best US, which we had been working on for over a year and a half. I thought Oh, no, people are going to think we did that thing that some Christians do: where we hijack someone’s creativity and success, put a Christian spin on it, and voila: a T-shirt, sermon series, or book. In the name of full confession, I told my wife that I hoped the TV series didn’t do well so people wouldn’t think we did “that.” Selfish of me, I know.

Well, my wish didn’t seem to hurt the show; it’s quite popular. It certainly is my top-rated show. While it contains some sensationalism, that sensationalism is not what makes the show sensational for me. The realness of the show is what makes it extraordinary. The characters aren’t perfect. They fight with each other. But they also fight for each other. They love each other. Despite their imperfections, I find myself rooting for them to win. Perhaps I’m cheering because of their imperfections.

I believe that our families, our marriages, our unique USs, are what make us significant to God and to each other. What an author God has been, is, and will always be. He writes the story of our US. But I think when we link our character to His, He can and does write a more beautiful story. While He never writes a story without pain or confusion or frustration, He can write a story of a beautiful US, when we co-author our “show” with Him.

I wrote Your Best US because I believe that while married people don’t have control over many things in their lives, they do over much. In the finale of This Is Us, Jack looks at his wife during one of the toughest moments of their marriage and says, “This is just going to be a blip on the radar years from now. Our love story—I know it may not feel like it right now, but I promise you, it is just getting started.”

My prayer is that this book, Your Best US, would be more than a blip on your radar, that it’s 100 pages that change the script of your US. I know; I’m a sap. I know; I’m a dreamer. But I bet at the core of you, you are, too. Don’t be afraid to pause and think about the story your US is telling. When we pause, we get a chance to write a better story of our US.

So far, what’s a favorite moment of your US? I’d love to hear about it. Tweet a message to @tedlowe and let me know about #YourBestUS.

About Ted

Ted Lowe is a speaker, an author, and the director of MarriedPeople, the marriage division at The reThink Group (also known as Orange), a non-profit organization devoted to influencing those who influence the next generation. Ted lives near Atlanta, Georgia, with his four favorite people: his wife, Nancie, and their three children. He is the co-author of Married People: How Your Church Can Build Marriages That Last. For more information about Ted and Your Best Us, please visit YourBestUS.com.

Your Best Us (written by Ted Lowe) is for anyone who wants a better marriage—even a great one—but feels overwhelmed by too many marriage books, blogs, and experts that make marriage harder than it has to be.

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  • CJ

    After 23 years marriage and a wife who no longer loves me but says she is working on trying to regain her love for me, I really don’t know what the Best Us looks like. I can’t even fathom what a good relationship looks like anymore. We are not emotionally or spiritually connected, she doesn’t like to hold hands, kiss, hug or cuddle. We are trying to work things out for the past two-plus years after I found out that she was having a two-year emotional affair with the youth pastor at our former church.

    Trying so hard, praying so much, giving it over to God to make our marriage good again. Trying one day at a time but my heart is still so shattered and, as long as she is still so disconnected, I feel like the pain just lies there every day and she is walking over the shattered pieces of my heart without even trying to help them heal again.