5 Things Having a Daughter Has Taught Me About Loving My Wife... September 29, 2015 | Ryan Frederick
3 Ways to Hear Her Heart: Decrypting Your Wife’s Words... September 4, 2015 | Ryan Frederick
Ignored Convictions September 1, 2015 | Selena Frederick
Her Story: God’s Redemption After My Abortion... August 19, 2015 | Selena Frederick
5 Creative Ways to Love Your Husband August 10, 2015 | Selena Frederick
5 Phrases Wives Can Say to Deeply Encourage Their Husbands... July 24, 2015 | Ryan Frederick
Why the World Needs Your Marriage July 15, 2015 | Ryan Frederick
Hi, we’re Ryan and Selena Frederick.
Fierce Marriage is our blog devoted to helping couples build better marriages. We believe that building a Christ-centered marriage requires a fierce tenacity that never gives up and never gives in; there is no Plan B. When we vowed “Till death do us part”, we meant it!
Here we hope you find lots of useful advice that can help your marriage! We encourage you to join our mailing list, find us on Facebook/Twitter/Instagram, and please share your thoughts by commenting on posts. – Ryan & Selena
In marriage we experience seasons of loneliness.
Depending on the season of life you’re in, our definitions of loneliness look different but leave us feeling the same – alone, disengaged, frustrated and sometimes lost.
I didn’t want to do this experiment. No desire at all… but I’m actually very glad we did.
Denis and Emma, the creators of Melt: Massage for Couples, had been trying to get a hold of me via email for over a year! (…sorry guys) After speaking with Denis, Selena and decided to give it a try.
Selena shared her perspective in a previous post – it’s definitely worth the read to hear what unique takeaways she had. Now it’s my turn; here’s what I learned…
When Ryan approached me about trying out an online course called Melt (Massage For Couples), and then writing about our experience, I was pretty skeptical. Even before I watched the first video I had tons of questions: (e.g.) who is putting the video together? Is it wholesome? How will it help marriages? Will I even be able to do these massage “moves” (as I called them), and was it something valuable that we should invest our time and energy into? Lord knows we all have PLENTY on our daily “to-do” lists.
Hopefully this will bring about some quick assurance to those of you who are reading this post and are as skeptical about this whole couples massage course as I was.
Selena and I always laugh when we feel a fight bubbling up because we remember this timeless advice we once received: “fight naked”. The idea is that it’s really hard to fight and stay angry when you’re both stark naked. While practically applicable, the advice is actually very profound.
Author Tim Keller says in his podcast,
“When I, in marriage, make myself physically naked and vulnerable, it’s a sign of what I’ve done with my whole life…”
So when we say, “fight naked”, we mean it practically as well as metaphorically.
Go ahead, get in the buff and see how it works! The important thing is to always be naked emotionally and utterly transparent in your communication. You’ve heard the phrase, “let it all hang out”. That’s what I’m talking about… I think.
So… I’ve been plowing through the book of proverbs recently and as the title indicates, it’s been rocking our faces off. This post is the second of a two-part series, so you may want to start by reading the first post if you haven’t already (in fact, I highly recommend it).
As I mentioned in the previous post, I’m seeing themes develop throughout the book of Proverbs. One commentator stated (paraphrase): the book of Proverbs is not a linear progression of events or thought, it’s a proverbial heap of wisdom. Each verse (roughly) encapsulates a complete thought as synthesized and articulated by Solomon.
I’ve been reading the book of Proverbs a ton lately and I must say, I don’t read it enough. And I should probably read at least one chapter a day for the rest of my life. Note to self…
As I’m plowing through the book, it’s most interesting to see two-part themes–those with contrasted and opposing ideas–develop that help distinguish between those on the good side of wisdom and those on its bad side. Here are some of the themes I’ve picked up on (I’m about halfway through the book):
One of my latest struggles or insecurities has been in the area of confidence as a wife.
Living in “mommy-toddler” world for majority of my
day life can sometimes make it difficult to transition into wife mode when hubby gets home. (Not to blame the littles, God knows we love and adore them and are so thankful for their precious lives; please don’t get me wrong.)
I’m just saying that in my experience, it’s easy for me to forget where, or Whom, my confidence and security comes from.
Reading God’s Word in our marriage, and letting it read you is an absolute must.
Not only does it remind us of His promises and the freedom and healing He brings but it keeps us spiritually engaged with our spouse (assuming they are reading God’s Word as well).
Discussing what Jesus is doing in your life with your spouse is important, and one of the fiercest ways you can fight for your marriage daily. And it’s more than reading a quick verse, contemplating it for 30 seconds, praying for 20 seconds and checking off your “devo time” with Jesus.