Two Updates: a Baby and a Book June 24, 2016 | Ryan Frederick
Video: The Pressure of Perfection May 24, 2016 | Selena Frederick
3 Big Fears Most Couples Face and the Only Way to Shut ’em Down... May 17, 2016 | Selena Frederick
Video: Maintaining a Healthy Sex Life After We’ve Had Kids... April 25, 2016 | Ryan Frederick
Video: 4 Important Things to Remember When Talking To Your Spouse... March 30, 2016 | Ryan Frederick
How Christ’s Suffering Speaks to Suffering In Our Marriage... March 23, 2016 | Selena Frederick
Their Story: Dealing with Hardship When All Hope Seems Lost... March 1, 2016 | Ryan Frederick
Hi, we’re Ryan and Selena Frederick.
Fierce Marriage is our blog devoted to helping couples build better marriages. We believe that building a Christ-centered marriage requires a fierce tenacity that never gives up and never gives in; there is no Plan B. When we vowed “Till death do us part”, we meant it!
Here we hope you find lots of useful advice that can help your marriage! We encourage you to join our mailing list, find us on Facebook/Twitter/Instagram, and please share your thoughts by commenting on posts. – Ryan & Selena
Everyone wants a happy marriage, and happy marriages are very good! However, happiness is not what makes marriage most beautiful. This may come as a shock, or you may know exactly where I’m going with this. Either way, I hope you learn something as you read on.
Selena and I have been through plenty… plenty good and plenty bad. We’ve experienced both because of things we did (we’ve made wise choices and poor ones), and also because of reasons outside of our control. In fact, you can probably say the same!
This year we’re trying to do something different. We’re not too different from most folks in that we’ve exchanged thoughtful cards, I’ve given Selena roses, and on a few occasions, jewelry. But this year, our entire focus has changed to treasuring each other.
My tendency is to wait until the last minute, buy something to make up for lost time, and hope Selena feels loved. As a marriage blogger, I feel pressure to make it extraordinary…and to write something that will somehow communicate the importance of romance in marriage in a new and unique way.
In my last post, I discussed 5 habits for building rock-solid communication in your marriage. What I wrote was based on personal experience and scripture, but they’re all proactive measures for communicating more effectively. What do we do when we’re already IN a frustrating moment/season and we don’t know how to break loose? How can we break the ice and let our guard down when everything inside of us wants to hold onto frustration?
There is such security knowing that we’re both in this for the long haul. Selena and I are far from perfect…FAR. In fact, we’ve had two significant arguments in the past 15 hours, and that includes 7-8 hours of sleep, hanging out with friends for 3 hours (we didn’t argue around friends…this time), and about 2 hours of work. That leaves about 2-3 hours where we’ve been alone together and we argued (significantly) twice. Twice! That’s around 1 per hour. I’m both ashamed and impressed…
I wouldn’t say we’re argumentative people. We love to laugh and joke with each other…a lot! And we love having fun, being spontaneous, and connecting emotionally.
But lately a perfect storm of stress, sniffles, and circumstance has heightened tensions around the ‘ol Frederick household. But…even amidst our irritableness, there’s a strange, deep joy that appears when we argue. It’s not necessarily happiness in those moments, but a deep joy.
I don’t really like the word “should,” especially when it comes to marriage. That’s probably because I use it regularly… And whenever I get a case of the “shoulds”, I always feel like I’m not measuring up in one way or another. I’m left feeling insecure, frustrated…. overwhelmed. It feels like swimming up a raging waterfall. It’s hopeless, exhausting, and fruitless.
Dating is a funny thing. It’s not overtly discussed in scripture, and those living somewhere between single and married often ask us for advice. So, I figured it was time to write a post specifically for those who are in serious dating relationships, or want to learn principles for dating when they meet that special someone.
This past year has been incredible. For us, it’s been a year of change, a year of momentum building, and a year of immense growth. Though God is present and working in every moment, in the past year His work has been especially evident to us. There have been hard times for sure (the loss of friends and family, sickness, and stress), but God was always good and faithful to thicken His presence when we needed Him most.
We hope you can say the same. Every year is a blessing from God, as no moment is guaranteed. As you prepare your heart and mind for 2016, we wanted to quickly reflect back to the content our readers (you!) have enjoyed most on the Fierce Marriage blog.
We haven’t always been the best at dating. Sure, we’ve been out to dinner and done many activities in the name of pursuing each other, but we haven’t been as intentional about it as we would’ve liked. And as our family has grown we’ve found ourselves dating even less. But we hope to change that. :)
Last month we announced that we would be embarking (with you, our readers) on the “Unforgettable Date Challenge“. The idea is simple: we commit to having at least one unforgettable date each month. This doesn’t mean our dates are super elaborate or expensive, just intentional.