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April 30, 2016

Hi, we’re Ryan and Selena Frederick.

Ryan & Selena, authors and curators of Fierce Marriage

Fierce Marriage is our blog devoted to helping couples build better marriages. We believe that building a Christ-centered marriage requires a fierce tenacity that never gives up and never gives in; there is no Plan B. When we vowed “Till death do us part”, we meant it!

Here we hope you find lots of useful advice that can help your marriage! We encourage you to join our mailing list, find us on Facebook/Twitter/Instagram, and please share your thoughts by commenting on posts.  – Ryan & Selena

5 Indispensable Habits for Rock-Solid Communication

January 26, 2016 |

There is such security knowing that we’re both in this for the long haul. Selena and I are far from perfect…FAR. In fact, we’ve had two significant arguments in the past 15 hours, and that includes 7-8 hours of sleep, hanging out with friends for 3 hours (we didn’t argue around friends…this time), and about 2 hours of work. That leaves about 2-3 hours where we’ve been alone together and we argued (significantly) twice. Twice! That’s around 1 per hour. I’m both ashamed and impressed…

I wouldn’t say we’re argumentative people. We love to laugh and joke with each other…a lot! And we love having fun, being spontaneous, and connecting emotionally.

But lately a perfect storm of stress, sniffles, and circumstance has heightened tensions around the ‘ol Frederick household. But…even amidst our irritableness, there’s a strange, deep joy that appears when we argue. It’s not necessarily happiness in those moments, but a deep joy. Read More

Eliminating “Should” from Your Marriage

January 13, 2016 |

I don’t really like the word “should,” especially when it comes to marriage. That’s probably because I use it regularly… And whenever I get a case of the “shoulds”, I always feel like I’m not measuring up in one way or another. I’m left feeling insecure, frustrated…. overwhelmed. It feels like swimming up a raging waterfall. It’s hopeless, exhausting, and fruitless.  Read More

5 Important Considerations When Dating To Marry

January 7, 2016 |

Dating is a funny thing. It’s not overtly discussed in scripture, and those living somewhere between single and married often ask us for advice. So, I figured it was time to write a post specifically for those who are in serious dating relationships, or want to learn principles for dating when they meet that special someone. Read More

Our 7 Most Read Posts of 2015

December 31, 2015 |

This past year has been incredible. For us, it’s been a year of change, a year of momentum building, and a year of immense growth. Though God is present and working in every moment, in the past year His work has been especially evident to us. There have been hard times for sure (the loss of friends and family, sickness, and stress), but God was always good and faithful to thicken His presence when we needed Him most.

We hope you can say the same. Every year is a blessing from God, as no moment is guaranteed. As you prepare your heart and mind for 2016, we wanted to quickly reflect back to the content our readers (you!) have enjoyed most on the Fierce Marriage blog.  Read More

3 Aspects of Unforgettable Dates After “I Do”

December 8, 2015 |

We haven’t always been the best at dating. Sure, we’ve been out to dinner and done many activities in the name of pursuing each other, but we haven’t been as intentional about it as we would’ve liked. And as our family has grown we’ve found ourselves dating even less. But we hope to change that. :)

Last month we announced that we would be embarking (with you, our readers) on the “Unforgettable Date Challenge“. The idea is simple: we commit to having at least one unforgettable date each month. This doesn’t mean our dates are super elaborate or expensive, just intentional. Read More

Trust Your Gages: Navigating Storms in Marriage (part 2)

November 23, 2015 |

In my last post I explained how I was flying home late one night and the foggy weather coupled with darkness made it impossible to see where the plane was landing. I got a little nervous but had to remember that the pilots have a whole suite of instruments (gages) that tell them everything they need to know for a safe landing.

Many times in our marriages we can panic as soon as storms roll in around us. If we look out the window of our marriage and only trust what we see with our eyes (our feelings of fear), we’re prone to worry about things we can’t control and make decisions that are fear based and not faith based. Read More

Trust Your Gages: Navigating Storms in Marriage (part 1)

November 19, 2015 |

I was traveling for work recently and the flight home was one of the most surreal experiences I’ve had lately. It was a long day of travel with the last leg being a late flight, scheduled for arrival at 10pm.

Darkness coupled with foggy Seattle weather made for a particularly perilous landing…or so I thought. Read More

3 Surprising Truths About Losing & Finding True Intimacy

November 11, 2015 |

Every couple wants greater intimacy. There’s nothing like feeling truly connected to one another – like you’re walking in sync, your hearts are beating to the same rhythm, and you don’t know where you end and your spouse begins. It’s truly, truly remarkable. I’d even say it’s a miracle.

What is it about the marriage bond that allows us such astounding intimacy? Why are we wired for it? Why does it feel so natural when it happens? One word: grace. God is gracious and good, and we experience this type of intimacy because of who He is and how He’s designed us. Read More