Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image

February 7, 2016

Hi, we’re Ryan and Selena Frederick.

Ryan & Selena, authors and curators of Fierce Marriage

Fierce Marriage is our blog devoted to helping couples build better marriages. We believe that building a Christ-centered marriage requires a fierce tenacity that never gives up and never gives in; there is no Plan B. When we vowed “Till death do us part”, we meant it!

Here we hope you find lots of useful advice that can help your marriage! We encourage you to join our mailing list, find us on Facebook/Twitter/Instagram, and please share your thoughts by commenting on posts.  – Ryan & Selena

Trust Your Gages: Navigating Storms in Marriage (part 1)

November 19, 2015 |

I was traveling for work recently and the flight home was one of the most surreal experiences I’ve had lately. It was a long day of travel with the last leg being a late flight, scheduled for arrival at 10pm.

Darkness coupled with foggy Seattle weather made for a particularly perilous landing…or so I thought. Read More

3 Surprising Truths About Losing & Finding True Intimacy

November 11, 2015 |

Every couple wants greater intimacy. There’s nothing like feeling truly connected to one another – like you’re walking in sync, your hearts are beating to the same rhythm, and you don’t know where you end and your spouse begins. It’s truly, truly remarkable. I’d even say it’s a miracle.

What is it about the marriage bond that allows us such astounding intimacy? Why are we wired for it? Why does it feel so natural when it happens? One word: grace. God is gracious and good, and we experience this type of intimacy because of who He is and how He’s designed us. Read More

3 Marriage ‘Mines’ and How to Avoid Them

November 5, 2015 |

No idea has impacted our marriage quite like the concept of biblical stewardship. When you hear that word you may have preconceptions about what it means, like how it probably has to do with your finances. That’s part of it, but stewardship is so much more!

The biggest game changer for us was the notion that we are stewards, not owners, of everything we have. It’s counter-cultural for sure, but it’s extremely liberating to realize that our time, treasure, talent, and relationships are not ours, they’re all God’s. We’re his appointed stewards to care for everything he’s given us, and we are to care for it well and hold it all with an open hand. It may be a new idea to you, so let’s explore.

Seeing ourselves as stewards has at least two positive impacts on our lives:  Read More

Unforgettable Dates

October 24, 2015 |

It was the summer of ’99 and he looked at me and thought, “Ohhhhhh she’s lookin’ so fine”…..Ok ok, enough with my attempt to bust the rhymes over here.

The 24th is a special day in our relationship. It’s the day we had the DTR talk (Defining The Relationship); the day Ryan and Selena began “dating”. Read More

Tragedy, Community, and the Church Being the Church

October 16, 2015 |

Tuesday night I visited the family of a high school friend, Matt, in the hospital. Matt was hospitalized the Sunday prior because of an unknown congenital heart defect that resulted in catastrophic heart failure.

I got to visit him in his room that night I went to visit. We prayed with him briefly and just stood beside the bed trying to make sense of everything. What could even be said? Read More

The Truth About the Lies We Believe

October 12, 2015 |

The other day, Dela brought her little children’s Bible over for me to read to her. She loves looking at the colorful pictures. Her and I started reading about original sin in Genesis and about Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden.

As I was reading it to her, and we came to the part where God was confronting Eve about her sin (eating the fruit from the tree of knowledge of good and evil) she answered God; and blaming the serpent she said, “He lied to me.

He lied. 

Ugh, it struck a chord so loud and deep in my heart. How often are we held captive by believing lies about ourselves, our spouse, who God is, and what He promised in Christ? Read More

3 Ground Rules for Building an Honest Marriage

October 9, 2015 |

Recently I walked out to our patio and started flailing my arms uncontrollably. I’m sure I looked like a fool. Why? Two words: spider web. As I stepped outside I felt that familiar, sticky feeling all over my arms and face. It’s just the worst.

In about 1.2 seconds I transitioned from a calm, collected, fully grown man into full-on, no-dignity, nearly-falling-on-the-ground panic monster. All of my childhood fears flooded back in a torrent of hysterical juking and jiving, kicking and chopping, Read More

5 Things Having a Daughter Has Taught Me About Loving My Wife

September 29, 2015 |

Having a daughter has taught me more about being a good husband than I ever thought possible. The idea is simple: what if I saw my wife through God’s eyes? How would I change how I treated her? Loved her? Cared for her? As you can imagine, seeing your spouse through God’s eyes changes everything. Everything.

This post will hopefully show you just a few of the ways having a daughter has taught me how to love my wife well. Read More