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September 4, 2015

Hi, we’re Ryan and Selena Frederick.

Ryan & Selena, authors and curators of Fierce Marriage

Fierce Marriage is our blog devoted to helping couples build better marriages. We believe that building a Christ-centered marriage requires a fierce tenacity that never gives up and never gives in; there is no Plan B. When we vowed “Till death do us part”, we meant it!

Here we hope you find lots of useful advice that can help your marriage! We encourage you to join our mailing list, find us on Facebook/Twitter/Instagram, and please share your thoughts by commenting on posts.  – Ryan & Selena

Our 30 Minute Massage Experiment: Her Perspective

June 16, 2015 |

When Ryan approached me about trying out an online course called Melt (Massage For Couples), and then writing about our experience, I was pretty skeptical. Even before I watched the first video I had tons of questions: (e.g.) who is putting the video together? Is it wholesome? How will it help marriages? Will I even be able to do these massage “moves” (as I called them), and was it something valuable that we should invest our time and energy into? Lord knows we all have PLENTY on our daily “to-do” lists.

Hopefully this will bring about some quick assurance to those of you who are reading this post and are as skeptical about this whole couples massage course as I was. Read More

Fight Naked! 3 Types of Marital Fights and How to Seek Reconciliation

May 26, 2015 |

Selena and I always laugh when we feel a fight bubbling up because we remember this timeless advice we once received: “fight naked”. The idea is that it’s really hard to fight and stay angry when you’re both stark naked. While practically applicable, the advice is actually very profound.

Author Tim Keller says in his podcast,

“When I, in marriage, make myself physically naked and vulnerable, it’s a sign of what I’ve done with my whole life…”

So when we say, “fight naked”, we mean it practically as well as metaphorically.

Go ahead, get in the buff and see how it works! The important thing is to always be naked emotionally and utterly transparent in your communication. You’ve heard the phrase, “let it all hang out”. That’s what I’m talking about… I think.

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3 Proverbs That Are Rocking Our Marriage (Part 2)

May 23, 2015 |

So… I’ve been plowing through the book of proverbs recently and as the title indicates, it’s been rocking our faces off. This post is the second of a two-part series, so you may want to start by reading the first post if you haven’t already (in fact, I highly recommend it).

As I mentioned in the previous post, I’m seeing themes develop throughout the book of Proverbs. One commentator stated (paraphrase): the book of Proverbs is not a linear progression of events or thought, it’s a proverbial heap of wisdom. Each verse (roughly) encapsulates a complete thought as synthesized and articulated by Solomon. Read More

3 Proverbs That Are Rocking Our Marriage (Part 1)

May 22, 2015 |

I’ve been reading the book of Proverbs a ton lately and I must say, I don’t read it enough. And I should probably read at least one chapter a day for the rest of my life. Note to self…

As I’m plowing through the book, it’s most interesting to see two-part themes–those with contrasted and opposing ideas–develop that help distinguish between those on the good side of wisdom and those on its bad side. Here are some of the themes I’ve picked up on (I’m about halfway through the book): Read More

The Importance of a Confident Wife

May 14, 2015 |

One of my latest struggles or insecurities has been in the area of confidence as a wife.

Living in “mommy-toddler” world for majority of my day life can sometimes make it difficult to transition into wife mode when hubby gets home. (Not to blame the littles, God knows we love and adore them and are so thankful for their precious lives; please don’t get me wrong.)

I’m just saying that in my experience, it’s easy for me to forget where, or Whom, my confidence and security comes from. Read More

God’s Word: A Light In Our Darkness

May 4, 2015 |

Reading God’s Word in our marriage, and letting it read you is an absolute must.

Not only does it remind us of His promises and the freedom and healing He brings but it keeps us spiritually engaged with our spouse (assuming they are reading God’s Word as well).

Discussing what Jesus is doing in your life with your spouse is important, and one of the fiercest ways you can fight for your marriage daily. And it’s more than reading a quick verse, contemplating it for 30 seconds, praying for 20 seconds and checking off your “devo time” with Jesus.
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5 Habits for a Healthy Marriage

April 29, 2015 |

A little while ago I wrote about the first thing we’d discuss with you if we could have coffee together. Feel free to read that post if you haven’t, but basically we’d talk about your beliefs. Namely, your belief in the person and work of Jesus Christ and what that means for your marriage.

This blog post would be the second conversation we’d have with you. Read More

5 Principles for Creating a Purpose Driven Sex Life

April 9, 2015 |

Sex. A word that used to be taboo is now so commonplace you probably won’t go a day without hearing it at least a few times. Everything seems to have something to do with sex.

It’s funny really, that such a relatively small portion of anyone’s life is given such a heavy emphasis. Why does sex take up so much of society’s conversational bandwidth? Why are we so obsessed? Read More