Unity. Deep, true unity is unmistakable and irreplaceable in a healthy marriage. God’s word says “they shall become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24). Not two people with a common goal, but one flesh. Combined. Unified.
God created us for deeper unity with our spouses than any other human. There are profound reasons for this, like the necessity of strong families for flourishing churches and societies. There are also pragmatic reasons for this (I believe), like how it sanctifies us as individuals to seek unity as a couple, and how pursuing unity causes you to have otherwise impossible conversations with each other.
Everyone wants unity in their marriage
One thing is for sure, every person wants to feel more unified with their spouse, not less. Don’t you? Our world could be figuratively crumbling around us, but if Selena and I are unified and our friendship is healthy, I’ll feel invincible. Of course, this is with Christ at the absolute center of our lives and the source of every deep confidence we have.
The question is not whether or not you want unity in your marriage, but rather, are you willing to do what it takes to build it? If you’re reading this, I’d bet you are. Read on!
4 ways to start building unity today
How can you seek greater unity today? In our marriage, we’ve discovered four rock-solid ways to build true unity.
1. Trust God together
How are you trusting God in your daily life and with your future? Also, how are you trusting God with your past? Are you looking to him to repair past offenses? Are you trusting His Word together in your daily life? Are you discussing and finding ways to trust God with your future (finances, your worries, your life)?
2. Have honest conversations
Sounds obvious, but you’d be surprised how often we talk to couples that don’t have honest conversations. Why? Because honest conversations take honest speaking AND honest listening. So often, we “hear” what our spouse is saying, but we don’t truly listen. We don’t internalize, take ownership, and really consider what they’re saying. Speak honestly, but listen honestly as well.
3. Build your friendship
Have fun, get out, and do things together. Enjoy each other! Building and remembering your friendship takes intentionality and it’s never a waste of time.
4. Serve others together
Very few couples serve others together. Your marriage has a purpose that is greater than you. It is to glorify God! Explore what that might mean for you. How can you serve your community, your neighbors, or your church as a couple? How can your strengths complement each other in a way that will multiply your impact? Just something to get you thinking.
May you and your spouse be unified on every level. We pray that as you are, your joy and love will multiply.
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