Challenges, Commitment, For Women, Love

Your marriage is not a DIY project

Have you ever tried to do a DIY project?

Honestly, I feel like I am somewhat of a creative mind, but when it comes to DIY projects (hello Pinterest) I’m like a first-grader learning how to write in cursive.

Spoon rings

A few Christmas’ ago I tried to do spoon rings for my Young Life girls. Easy-peasy right? Get a few sterling silver spoons from a thrift store, wrap them around a dowel (essentially).

5 hours later (it’s never “3 Easy Steps”), 2 trips to the hardware store and 2 trips to craft store, I was left with 3 rings that pretty much sliced your finger up and down when you tried to put them on. My command is this: love each other as I have loved you.

Did I mention the blow torch we used twice? All the unused silverware we bought – not to mention my hands and forearms hurt for the next 4 days.

After a valiant effort trying to create the magazine-esq look of a functioning, flawless and stylistic product, I ended up frustrated and demoralized at my attempt.


Truly, I am not a glutton for punishment so why, why do I do this to myself?

Looking back at my spoon ring attempt, it boiled down to the fact that I believed I could do it. Me, myself and I can create this beautiful masterpiece on my own (hence the name DIY).

I had the instructions and the tools, but somehow I still failed miserably.

What was I missing?

Often times in our effort to improve our marriage we try to do it on our own. Love never fails.

Seeking advice from blogs (which I will address, as FM is a blog), listening to podcasts, reading books – the resources are endless.

I’m not saying that these resources are bad either, but they should be supplemental to the Teacher.

The One who can engage with you, who is present in any circumstance and who has all the answers to our questions – our Heavenly Father.

Marriage: A Team Effort

God didn’t design marriage to be a DIY project.

Marriage is a living breathing covenant that you make before Him with your spouse.

Not only is it a covenant between two people, it is also a reflection of the relationship between Christ and the church/us (Ephesians 5:25-27; Revelation 19:7-9).

He not only wants to be a part of your marriage, He wants to be at the center of it.

We may have all the tools, materials and instruction manual, but if we don’t have God involved – if we aren’t seeking Him on a daily basis; if we aren’t petitioning and inviting Him into our marriage, how can we think that everything will somehow work out?

Sadly there are many christian platforms that preach messages like, “If it’s going to be, then it’s up to me.” (Beware!)

I want to know what Bible they are reading from, because that’s contrary to the gospel message I’ve heard.

Fierce marriage fighters, the enemy would love for you to think that the healing and hope your marriage needs can only be found in you – why? Marriage is the lifelong journey of learning to love like Christ.

Because it would remove our Savior, our Healer and the source of our hope, Jesus Christ, from the story.

Jesus IS the answer; always has been and always will be.

Protecting your marriage

Fight the urge to “save” your marriage on your own. Doing it alone actually leaves you more vulnerable.

We were never meant to fight for our marriage alone.

The best way you can protect your marriage is by getting God in the center and work to keep Him there.

He is our glue.

Fierce Marriage is a blog…so what does that mean?

Yes, FM is a marriage blog, but again, it should be something in addition to time spent in the Word.

In our posts, Ryan and I try to be transparent and honest in what God is teaching us. Our hope is that we continually stay focused on Jesus and that we point others to him.

FM should never replace the Bible. Nothing should ever replace the Word of God. In the words of Charles Spurgeon:

“Visit many good books, but live in the Bible.”

From the photos you see in social media, to the quotes and blog posts we aim for Christ to be glorified and God to be acknowledged.

We aim to seek Him first in everything (Matthew 6:33).

Go to God first, invite Him into your life, into your marriage. Seek Him daily through His Word, and in worship and prayer.

He is faithful to guide you in your marriage; to offer protection and deep healing. Put your trust in God (Proverbs 3:5-6).

Questions: When is the last time you invited God into your marriage?

Photo by Jeff Marsh

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  • Jorge A. Escobar

    I know this is awkward –

    But I know God does his work thru our prayers.

    I am in Desprate need for Prayers from everywhere. and everyone.
    I been married for 2 1/2 years. my wife and I took the vow in front of God and we were 2 bodies 2 souls and became 1 body 1 soul thru God that united us. thru time we have keep our spiritual commitment to honor God and Jesus. recently thru financial stress and working alot my wife has strayed away from the family and God and the church because her job demands alot from her yet its not a good with the income because she always has to borrow money. I on the other hand have been keeping my faith and ask God for help. I pray , I praise God for everything good and bad . follow what the bible scriptures say. and still attend church even in my darkest hours.
    The Bible reads that to be a holy man he must put and love God and jesus first and then Honor and love his wife and family second as Jesus loved his Church. I ask if possible a prayer to our all mighty God and creature and Jesus who died for our sins. that he opens my wifes heart and thru prayers and faith God Blesses us with all our disires… I married for good and bad , in sickness and in health richer or poor TOGETHER we are in this because God brought us Together.

    Thank you and God Bless you all

    • Sondra

      Jorge, I just prayed for you and your wife.

      My husband left me and our 18 month old son nearly 5 months ago. I pray everyday that God will place people in my husband’s life that will help him seek God and soften his heart.

      I believe that God has great plans for each of us. Stay strong and continue to grow in your relationship with Him.

      • Dwegi

        Dear Jorge and Sandra, I have prayed for both of you. Stay in the Lord Jesus. He is able to save unto the uttermost. May He restore both your marriages to what it should be.

        • Jorge A. Escobar

          Thank You

      • Jorge A. Escobar

        thank you

  • Gina marie

    Jorge, you will win your wife back by staying faithful to God. She will see it and at some point, she will start to feel that empty space that was once reserved for God. You two really are “one”… so your endurance in your walk with God will affect her deeply, whether she realizes it or not. I will pray for your wife and you. Remember, God causes All things to work out for good for those who love Him and are called according to His will.

    • Jorge A. Escobar

      Thank you .Gina marie .. I just pray and pray …our favoriate movie is ” Fireproof”. and we have always had God in our lives. But finanucial stuggles has distant her away