Challenges, Commitment, For Women, Love

Your marriage is not a DIY project

Have you ever tried to do a DIY project?

Honestly, I feel like I am somewhat of a creative mind, but when it comes to DIY projects (hello Pinterest) I’m like a first-grader learning how to write in cursive.

Spoon rings

A few Christmas’ ago I tried to do spoon rings for my Young Life girls. Easy-peasy right? Get a few sterling silver spoons from a thrift store, wrap them around a dowel (essentially).

5 hours later (it’s never “3 Easy Steps”), 2 trips to the hardware store and 2 trips to craft store, I was left with 3 rings that pretty much sliced your finger up and down when you tried to put them on. My command is this: love each other as I have loved you.

Did I mention the blow torch we used twice? All the unused silverware we bought – not to mention my hands and forearms hurt for the next 4 days.

After a valiant effort trying to create the magazine-esq look of a functioning, flawless and stylistic product, I ended up frustrated and demoralized at my attempt.


Truly, I am not a glutton for punishment so why, why do I do this to myself?

Looking back at my spoon ring attempt, it boiled down to the fact that I believed I could do it. Me, myself and I can create this beautiful masterpiece on my own (hence the name DIY).

I had the instructions and the tools, but somehow I still failed miserably.

What was I missing?

Often times in our effort to improve our marriage we try to do it on our own. Love never fails.

Seeking advice from blogs (which I will address, as FM is a blog), listening to podcasts, reading books – the resources are endless.

I’m not saying that these resources are bad either, but they should be supplemental to the Teacher.

The One who can engage with you, who is present in any circumstance and who has all the answers to our questions – our Heavenly Father.

Marriage: A Team Effort

God didn’t design marriage to be a DIY project.

Marriage is a living breathing covenant that you make before Him with your spouse.

Not only is it a covenant between two people, it is also a reflection of the relationship between Christ and the church/us (Ephesians 5:25-27; Revelation 19:7-9).

He not only wants to be a part of your marriage, He wants to be at the center of it.

We may have all the tools, materials and instruction manual, but if we don’t have God involved – if we aren’t seeking Him on a daily basis; if we aren’t petitioning and inviting Him into our marriage, how can we think that everything will somehow work out?

Sadly there are many christian platforms that preach messages like, “If it’s going to be, then it’s up to me.” (Beware!)

I want to know what Bible they are reading from, because that’s contrary to the gospel message I’ve heard.

Fierce marriage fighters, the enemy would love for you to think that the healing and hope your marriage needs can only be found in you – why? Marriage is the lifelong journey of learning to love like Christ.

Because it would remove our Savior, our Healer and the source of our hope, Jesus Christ, from the story.

Jesus IS the answer; always has been and always will be.

Protecting your marriage

Fight the urge to “save” your marriage on your own. Doing it alone actually leaves you more vulnerable.

We were never meant to fight for our marriage alone.

The best way you can protect your marriage is by getting God in the center and work to keep Him there.

He is our glue.

Fierce Marriage is a blog…so what does that mean?

Yes, FM is a marriage blog, but again, it should be something in addition to time spent in the Word.

In our posts, Ryan and I try to be transparent and honest in what God is teaching us. Our hope is that we continually stay focused on Jesus and that we point others to him.

FM should never replace the Bible. Nothing should ever replace the Word of God. In the words of Charles Spurgeon:

“Visit many good books, but live in the Bible.”

From the photos you see in social media, to the quotes and blog posts we aim for Christ to be glorified and God to be acknowledged.

We aim to seek Him first in everything (Matthew 6:33).

Go to God first, invite Him into your life, into your marriage. Seek Him daily through His Word, and in worship and prayer.

He is faithful to guide you in your marriage; to offer protection and deep healing. Put your trust in God (Proverbs 3:5-6).

Questions: When is the last time you invited God into your marriage?

Photo by Jeff Marsh

Share: Encouraging Marriage Images About Connecting

Sharing openly with friends is a great way to encourage your spouse and others. Just click an image and select where to share it – the quote will be pre-populated. There are many more images to share available here.

Have you heard of the The 31-Day Pursuit Challenge?

Every marriage begins with passion, purpose, and pursuit, but few stay that way. That’s why we wrote Husband in Pursuit and Wife in Pursuit Together, they make what we’re calling the 31-Day Pursuit Challenge. Couples are encouraged take the challenge together. We’re already starting to hear stories of transformed marriages! Are you up for the challenge?

You Might Also Like