I sometimes doubt our ability to help marriages. Even as I write this, Selena and I are having communication difficulties. This morning we had a minor, stress-induced argument about trivial things (taking out the garbage, walking the dogs, and cleaning the bedroom). I left to do some work, she’s at home doing the most important work: loving and instructing our daughter. We’re both feeling unresolved…
10 Keys to 42 Years of Loving Marriage
My parents celebrated 42 years of marriage yesterday. I’m incredibly proud of them – especially knowing first-hand all they’ve endured to get there. The best part is that they’re thriving, still deeply committed and in love. I wanted to honor and celebrate them; but I also wanted to learn from them. So I asked them to write out their secrets: “What are 5 things that…
4 Things Every Husband Needs to Hear Daily
Men don’t often receive credit for their complexity. One of my biggest annoyances is how husbands are often portrayed in commercials and TV shows: emotionally unaware, irresponsible, wide-eyed, and well… a little dumb. Those portrayals provide for a half-hearted chuckle, but they’re caricatures. I’d like to clear the air a bit. I may not speak for every man, but I have a feeling I speak for most.
Let it Go: Pebbles, Mountains, & Marriage
Last night as I sat and watched Nova, Selena was quietly nursing and reading a book about baby stuff. I looked over at her, reflecting about all she gives to our little family – sacrificing herself constantly for the welfare of our 8 month old daughter. I marveled at her unwavering support of me with deep appreciation. “You’re an incredible wife and mother”, I expressed.…
The “Phone Drop Test” Every Couple Should Consider
You can tell a person’s character by how they use their smartphone. It’s a veritable thermometer for the health of your integrity. What would happen if you immediately dropped your phone (unlocked) and your spouse picked it up? What thoughts go through your mind? What would your husband/wife discover?
4 Surprising Facets of Transparency in Marriage
When we talk about transparency, the response is nearly unanimous: it’s a vital part of marriage and relationships. You really can’t build a meaningful bond with your spouse if you’re hiding part of yourself. But most often, hiding is our first instinct.
Announcement: Our Curiously Ambiguous Next Step
We’ve had a quiet spell on the blog, this post explains why. In short, things are changing for us and just to clear the air, we’re not pregnant (that we know of!). Change is tough. Well, usually it’s tough. Change means that whatever you’re used to, comfortable with, and reasonably good at must now be different. The thing about change is that it must happen…
Slivers, Secrets, and Shame: Why Transparency in Marriage is an Absolute Must
Selena and I have had our secrets. We’ve hidden things from each other in our marriage, both purposefully and passively. We’ve masked poor financial choices, hidden sexual addiction, and “failed to mention” costly mistakes. It wasn’t until relatively recently that we discovered the power of transparency in our marriage.
How to Speak Your Spouse’s Love Language (and What to Avoid)
Love… It’s a word everyone uses and a concept sought by all. In marriage we make a covenant commitment to love each other whole-heartedly through our actions. We profess it, we show it, we receive it, and we feel it – at least that’s the hope. Love is not something you can check off a list, it’s a way of living, thinking, and doing. Love is a particularly tricky…
Out in the Cold: Why Your Marriage is Worth Fighting For
What if we always did exactly what we wanted? God wants us to be happy right, so why not do what brings us happiness? You’re probably already objecting. Anyone over the age of 6 knows you can’t have everything you want whenever it’s available to you. If you’ve ever vomited from an Otter Pop overdose (not that I’ve ever done that…) you’ll understand. Humans have a strange…