When we talk about transparency, the response is nearly unanimous: it’s a vital part of marriage and relationships. You really can’t build a meaningful bond with your spouse if you’re hiding part of yourself. But most often, hiding is our first instinct.
Announcement: Our Curiously Ambiguous Next Step
We’ve had a quiet spell on the blog, this post explains why. In short, things are changing for us and just to clear the air, we’re not pregnant (that we know of!). Change is tough. Well, usually it’s tough. Change means that whatever you’re used to, comfortable with, and reasonably good at must now be different. The thing about change is that it must happen…
Slivers, Secrets, and Shame: Why Transparency in Marriage is an Absolute Must
Selena and I have had our secrets. We’ve hidden things from each other in our marriage, both purposefully and passively. We’ve masked poor financial choices, hidden sexual addiction, and “failed to mention” costly mistakes. It wasn’t until relatively recently that we discovered the power of transparency in our marriage.
How to Speak Your Spouse’s Love Language (and What to Avoid)
Love… It’s a word everyone uses and a concept sought by all. In marriage we make a covenant commitment to love each other whole-heartedly through our actions. We profess it, we show it, we receive it, and we feel it – at least that’s the hope. Love is not something you can check off a list, it’s a way of living, thinking, and doing. Love is a particularly tricky…
Out in the Cold: Why Your Marriage is Worth Fighting For
What if we always did exactly what we wanted? God wants us to be happy right, so why not do what brings us happiness? You’re probably already objecting. Anyone over the age of 6 knows you can’t have everything you want whenever it’s available to you. If you’ve ever vomited from an Otter Pop overdose (not that I’ve ever done that…) you’ll understand. Humans have a strange…
5 Phrases Every Wife Needs to Hear Daily
I heard a story of a man and his wife who were having difficulty communicating. She felt undervalued and he felt nagged. She felt that his love for her was fading, and he felt like she was getting overly needy. Flustered, she explained, “I’m not sure you even love me any more!”. In response he quipped, “Honey I said I loved you the day I…
6 Reasons Men Should Watch Where They Look
Men like to look at pretty ladies. Groundbreaking discovery, I know… For a Christian guy – i.e., a man who follows Christ wholeheartedly and seeks to live with integrity as a result – this desire presents problems. When a pretty lady passes us on the sidewalk, something inside drives us to look – once, twice, even thrice, or more. This looking “twice, thrice, or more” is cause for concern. It seems harmless (you’re…
4 Things to Consider the Next Time You Feel Misunderstood
A few weeks back, Selena and I had a new style of argument. I guess I’ll call it “repressed yelling” (with an infant at home, volume is now a luxury we can’t afford). Funny thing though, as I write this I don’t even remember what we were arguing about – it must have been something trivial. I only truly recall something about feeling misunderstood. I…
Gritty Love: Why Sex on the Beach is Pure Fiction
Love is many things, but easy isn’t one of them. But that’s how pop-culture models love, isn’t it? Whether it’s obvious or subtle, we’re shown how love should be easy: love is a feeling you follow and when the feeling stops, or in other words it stops being easy, it’s time to move on. It’s not that people on TV or characters in movies are…
3 Things I’ve Learned from Unanswered Prayer
Have you ever felt like you were asking God all the “right” questions and getting only silence in return? We’ve been seeking God on a few things and have yet to hear His response. It’s causing us both spiritual heartburn. Now, on top of the questions we’ve been already asking God (some for years), we’re asking MORE questions like “Why is God being so quiet?”…