It’s funny how we get married with sort of this unspoken “vow” to be the perfect spouse and to have the perfect marriage. This pressure of perfection can come from many different places. In my opinion, social media probably takes the cake in terms of defining what the world sees as the perfect marriage. Which, if you looked outside the frame of that seemingly effortless, thumb-stopper image…
3 Big Fears Most Couples Face and the Only Way to Shut ’em Down
How many times have we allowed fear to dictate our decisions in marriage? Ryan and I are somewhat opposites in the fact that he is more of a daredevil; ready to summit that next mountain; ride that next wave or simply try a new (somewhat risky) experience without much hesitation. This is one reason why I fell in love with him! On the other hand, I’m…
Video: Maintaining a Healthy Sex Life After We’ve Had Kids
There is quite a learning curve when you get married. Lots to learn, lots to figure out. Sooner or later, kids arrive on the scene and everything changes, so you have to start re-learning how to maintain a healthy marriage in new, wonderful ways. One of the biggest challenges most couples face (and we’ve gotten this question quite a bit) is how to maintain a…
Video: 4 Important Things to Remember When Talking To Your Spouse
Communication is perhaps one of the most important aspects of your marriage. Many (like us) don’t realize that communication is a true skill: it must be practiced with mindfulness and diligence; otherwise you won’t grow. This all sounds painfully obvious, so I do apologize, but it’s still a huge problem area for most couples! Selena and I have definitely had our share of communication issues! However,…
How Christ’s Suffering Speaks to Suffering In Our Marriage
With Easter quickly approaching, I’ve been spending time in the book of Matthew reading about Jesus’ crucifixion and the Lord has been opening my eyes and mind to the suffering he experienced this Holy Week. All too often I feel I gloss over the deep anxiety, despair, abandonment and betrayal that our blameless Savior walked through in order to give us the opportunity for eternal hope and life with him.…
Their Story: Dealing with Hardship When All Hope Seems Lost
My friend has a story that may change your life forever. About 6 months ago I asked Nathan and his wife, Anna, to consider writing this guest blog post. I did so knowing that their story, while incredibly difficult, needed to be told. Why? Primarily, to show God’s grace and faithfulness, even amidst suffering. But also to help others who may be facing, or will face,…
The True Beauty of Marriage
Everyone wants a happy marriage, and happy marriages are very good! However, happiness is not what makes marriage most beautiful. This may come as a shock, or you may know exactly where I’m going with this. Either way, I hope you learn something as you read on. Selena and I have been through plenty… plenty good and plenty bad. We’ve experienced both because of things we did (we’ve…
Reclaiming Real Romance: 3 Reminders for Valentine’s Day This Year
This year we’re trying to do something different. We’re not too different from most folks in that we’ve exchanged thoughtful cards, I’ve given Selena roses, and on a few occasions, jewelry. But this year, our entire focus has changed to treasuring each other. My tendency is to wait until the last minute, buy something to make up for lost time, and hope Selena feels loved. As…
5 Indispensable Habits for Rock-Solid Communication
There’s such security knowing that we’re both in this marriage thing for the long haul. Selena and I are far from perfect…FAR. In fact, we’ve had two significant arguments in the past 15 hours, and that includes 7-8 hours of sleep, hanging out with friends for 3 hours, and about 2 hours of work. That leaves about 2-3 hours where we’ve been alone together and we…
Eliminating “Should” from Your Marriage
I don’t really like the word “should,” especially when it comes to marriage. That’s probably because I use it regularly… And whenever I get a case of the “shoulds”, I always feel like I’m not measuring up in one way or another. I’m left feeling insecure, frustrated…. overwhelmed. It feels like swimming up a raging waterfall. It’s hopeless, exhausting, and fruitless.