Your marriage is a union forged by God! He has sealed your covenant and joined you as one. Let not anyone separate what God brought together. Fight for unity! Fighting for unity means protecting yourselves from division and divisive people. This is especially true if you’re going through a hard time. Always remember: you can still be unified during a disagreement. Selena and I recently…
A Fierce Family Update!
I told Selena I was going to write an update on the blog and she immediately called me out (she’s awesome like that). The thing is, I’m not usually a fan of what I call “meta” posts… or, talking about what you’re talking about. We’re here—Fierce Marriage exists—to connect lines from the gospel to everyday issues in marriage. I’d prefer to keep doing that over…
God’s Daughter First, My Wife Second
I’m feel like a blessed man, but not because of material things (though, I’m happy to say my family is warm, dry, and fed). I feel blessed because of the people God has entrusted into my care. Namely, God has graciously given me two beautiful baby girls. (They’re just about all I post on Instagram.) Every Easter, our church has baptisms (we also have them at other…
Video: 3 Bulletproof Ways to Build Unstoppable Unity
We’ve been through quite a bit in our 13 years of marriage. We’ve suffered loss together, faced life-threatening sickness, fought and argued countless times, and enjoyed a bounty of joyful seasons. It seems that most enter marriage expecting to experience the latter (joy) most if not all the time, but they forget to prepare for the difficult seasons. Every married couple struggles at some point.…
3 Steps for Creating Vision and Leading Well as a Husband
As a husband, Selena looks to me to lead our family. She desires decisive, meaningful direction in our marriage and in our lives (she’s told me this). Don’t get me wrong, she is definitely involved and vocal as we work together to craft our family vision. (Oh, how I married a strong, smart woman!) But as the husband, the buck ultimately stops with me. I’m…
My 3 New Goals for Pursuing My Wife
I’m not a natural romantic; but I think I can change that. I’m realizing that my ability to love my wife well greatly depends on my intentional, ongoing pursuit of who she is and what she’s feeling. That’s the essence of romance: intentional pursuit. I’m not just talking about covering the bed with rose petals and lighting a few candles. That might be part of it……
5 Ways Advent Can Transform Your Marriage
I can’t believe Christmas is almost here…again. I have this habit: every year, the day after Christmas I say to myself, “before you know it, it will be Christmas again”. Sure enough, here we are. I have to be honest, I find parts of this holiday wearing. The biggest frustration I have (and you may share it) is the consumerism of it all. Somehow we…
Devotion: Listen, Laugh, Love
Remember that you began as friends. Your earliest moments as a couple likely included plenty of conversation, laughter, and fun. Your foundation of friendship will sustain you when feelings of romance come and go. Celebrate your history together! Laugh more, encourage constantly, listen intently, and share transparently. Consider this passage: “When the Lord restored the fortunes of Zion, we were like those who dream. Then…
Devotion: Love vs. Lust
It’s important to make a sharp distinction between love and lust in marriage. When a husband and wife love each other’s souls, time and aging only strengthen their love. Lust has the opposite effect. Understanding the differences between the two will help you address toxic tendencies directly. Here are a few key distinctions between lust and love: Lust is selfish, love is selfless. Lust is…
3 Ways I’m Pursuing My Wife & How it Multiplies Our Love
As a follower of Christ and a husband, I’m learning what it means to truly love my wife “as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” (Eph 5:25). That oft-quoted marriage passage is chock full of depth. Most days I find it’s charge unbearable. I’m a man… a human man. I sin and I have selfish tendencies. How can I possibly love my…